Being a Single Mom by Choice

I am a single mom by choice.  That is to say that I chose to be a mom as a single woman.  I got pregnant on purpose, and choose to raise him alone.  I didn't do this the proper way, that's for sure.  I took advantage of an opportunity that presented itself to get pregnant.  Most women who choose to do this, well via pregnancy any way, find a donor.  They choose someone either anonymously through a sperm bank, or they find a known donor they trust and have legal agreements signed.  I basically used an ex, probably not the best choice but I have this amazing little baby boy to show for it.  I do know I want another child, sooner than later, but I will most likely go the proper route and use a sperm bank and a clinic.

As for being a parent, it is sometimes very hard but more often than not it is easier than you might think.  I don't have to ask anyone else when I make a decision about raising him, how to wean him, what to feed him, how he'll sleep.  Even what he'll wear, and the choice to use cloth rather than dispoable diapers.  It is my decision to not allow him to CIO, to go to him when he cries.  The choice to follow baby led weaning, that was all me. 

But it is also hard sometimes, when I would like for there to be someone else to watch him so I can go out or even just take care of some chores.  I do have some family that waches him when they can but I don't like to ask too often.  I think if I were smart I would have developed a broader network before having him.  But now I really do like that he is all mine.  I take him everywhere, he is getting broad exposure to life, he goes to stores, restaurants, everywhere.  There are some limits, he is a little bit too active now for movies but we saw quite a few during the summer when he was less mobile.  And I wouldn't take him to the library yet, he likes to chew on books far too much!  It does limit things sometimes.  It's been quite cold recently and I don't like to take him out in that weather, if there was someone else to watch him I could still go out myself.  Even walking the dog becomes a chore as I can't take the baby out when it is so cold, so the dog doesn't get his exercise. 

I love my choice, I love being a mom more than anything else in my life, it is amazing and wonderful, even the sleepless nights and losing my freedom.  Perhaps if I had been married when I had a child it would be harder to be alone now, but since this is all I have known it is not that hard.  I manage.  Things get done.  The house may not be as clean as it could be, the dog may gain a few winter pound, but the laundry is done, food is cooked, we have a roof over our heads, heat and electicity. 

I have been bad about sticking to a budget, spent too much money, so the things I want have been put off.  But I am starting over, trying now to save more, and meet my goals.  I use coupons, I shop sales, I stick to the budget.  I buy what we need, shop using lists and check flyers before we go to the store.  I am being frugal, and we don't go shopping more than once a week.  I don't want to deprive my son of the fun things in life, but I also want to make sure he gets things like a house someday.  And a baby brother or sister :)