Vacation

Jackson and I are just back from visiting my parents for a week.  It was really nice, he had a lot of fun. But he is happy to be home and never wants to go back. I am pretty sure it's just that he doesn't know how to express the emotions he's feeling, he loves my parents and playing at their house, he loves spending time with them, but he is sad to leave, and doesn't know how to deal with it. It is interesting to see him try and work through it, and try to help him sort it out. That it is ok to be upset that we came home, but also happy to be home in our own space.

We did a lot while we were down there, went shopping a couple times, had lunch at the mall, played in the backyard, went to the beach, and he spent one day without me. I went to Toronto to meet up with some ladies I met online, yes I know, and had a nice day. Jackson went fishing and of course my dad didn't take any pictures! Hopefully next time. I found Toronto to be big and busy, and smelly. I do not ever want to live there.

I also realized while down there that I had made a mistake in my budget, I took daycare out as of September and never put it back when I decided to keep him going for an extra year, so I had to fix that and it makes me sad. I've been spending and shopping like I have money when I don't. So now it's catching up to me, and it means I can't afford to try for another this fall/winter. And I don't think waiting another year is a good option. So I guess I'm done. Which is sad to me. I know it's my own fault, and wonder if I did it in part to avoid the question to begin with. I don't have a decision to make, it's been made by my own foolishness.  It's not really a bad thing, we are a happy little family and things are pretty comfortable.  Jackson is a good kid, we have our moments but I am learning how to deal with him.  Even bedtime is getting better.  We spend a few minutes talking over the day, and it helps him to settle down and go to sleep.

So we have two more days until it's back to the grind. We have gift certificates to go see a movie. I am thinking of taking him to his first movie!  It will either be a big hit or a disaster, I am hoping for a hit. I miss going to movies. And since this first one is free, if it's a disaster, well then it's ok.