I've been reading Mayim Balik's book, and it's very interesting, very much about attachment parenting of course. One thing she says pretty early on is, that is to know the type of parent you want to be. So I've been thinking about how much time I get to spend with Jackson. My job is relocating to a new building which will extend my commute, and that means less time with my boy. Add in his starting school next year, and the new hours I'll have to work to accommodate that, and I'm left with a minor dilemma. Well it's actually a big problem and I am not sure what to do.
The way I see it I have a few options with where to live, and with work. So the home options first. I can stay where I am and just suck it up, we'll have less time together than I'd like but it's more than lots of people get. We can afford to be here, the school he'll be at is quite good and there is an after school program there for a reasonable price that he will be able to attend. I'll be able to put him on the bus then pick him up at the school before 6, and voila. Option 1.
My other choice is to move closer to where the new job will be. I cannot afford to buy there, probably ever, so renting would be the option. To rent there would cost more than I am paying now, it's doable for us, and the area is pretty great, I have to check the schools still. I won't be able to go until spring/summer any way, so the option is one I'd have to plan for. I'd be able to rent a house, as opposed to my townhouse, so a nicer space just in the fact I wouldn't be attached to anyone. But as I said, it'd cost more, so it would take longer to save up.
The last choice is to maybe try a "rent to own" company, which I've heard not so great things about but sometimes it feels like it's what I'm going to have to do. In that case I'd end up likely out of town because that's where I'll be able to afford. So it's an option but not really one I feel strongly about. Except that it would be nice to only have to move once, and to not be here too much longer.
For all of these options I really feel like I need to really purge and declutter my home. There are so many toys, so much stuff, and it just needs to go. I just don't know where to start. I think it would be nice to have someone else come over and just start. I get overwhelmed looking at everything I need to sort through. I know I should be doing small steps, even 15 minutes a day to just start to get through it. It's on the to do list.
And now the job. A couple options here too. If I could get a job and stay in the building I'm at now it would save me, save me having to move, give me more options of where to live, and give me the permanence in the new position. That would be ideal but it's not something I have no control over.
The choices I have control over, are whether to work part time when Jackson starts school in order to not have to put him in after school care. It would mean a pay cut of course, how much? I'd have to work that out. But it might be an option, perhaps it would make me feel better about how much time I can spend with him, since I do want him to go school.
And finally there is the summer's off option, which can be used with the part time option as well. I work for the government and we have the option of taking time off and spreading the unpaid leave over the year, they call it leave with income averaging, so they spread out the unpaid time and you get a little less every pay but still get paid while you are off on leave. The benefit will be when he starts school, I won't need childcare for the whole summer, it'll again be a pay cut, but how much? I'll need to check that too I guess. It's an option I am likely going to take advantage of, but whether I can afford to do both pay cuts is greatly debatable.
I think that's enough for now, hopefully it all makes sense. It helps me to write it down and get it out there. I am tired, tired of my messy home that I can't seem to get a handle on, tired of living here with the closeness of the neighbours, tired of worrying all the time. I want to be able to make a decision and get on with it. I know I won't really be able to do that until spring, but if I know that the choice is coming to a certain extent, then I can start the purging, and decluttering, and hopefully the saving to move, and be able to make the decision when the time comes.
No comments:
Post a Comment