New job

I started my job last week, my new position that is.  I still work for the same government agency, and am still acting a level up, just doing different work and on a different team.  So far so good, I know I can do the work, but I think I've gotten lazy in my old job, used to just doing what I do and not having to think about it too much, so it's a challenge to get back on track and listen again.  I have a new team, so new people to get used to. The one lady I work with now is very umm eager.  She's quite a happy person, very much wants to do a good job, a little over the top but I'm sure I'll get used to it. She's very organized, which is good.  But it will also be an adjustment again because I'm used to basically working alone.  I was happy to have the manager tell me that as soon as the pool is established my temporary level will be permanent.  That is a relief and means I can plan my savings better.

Mea is still not 100%, and I am concerned. I am not sure what to do. I can put her on antibiotics for 3 weeks, see if that helps, but she has lost so much weight, and is not gaining it back. I can feel every bone in her body when I pet her, it makes me feel bad.  I've been trying to get weight back on her, feeding her kitten food, giving her canned food 3 times a day plus leaving dry stuff down for her.  But I'm not sure it's helping enough, she was very sick and I think I took too long to help her.  I will call the vet again, see if she will give the antibiotics without more blood work etc, and see from there. 

I've been pretty good about my budget, have a bit of money saved, and am working on paying off the debt.  I am not sure I'll be able to afford getting pregnant this fall, without going further into debt, and I won't be able to buy a house for at least another year, if not 18 months, so I'm not sure what to do.  I am still loving being a mom, and would love another baby, but we are so comfortable. I wonder how parents decide to have another baby, I mean at first, in the first year or so it was easy, I knew I wanted more, it was all I could think about.  Then time goes by and things get easier, comfortable, and you wonder if you want to disrupt all of that again.  Perhaps too much time goes by.  I guess having the kids closer together would have made more sense.  Or perhaps starting earlier so I had more time to make a decision.  Never mind being 37 and having a hard time keeping up with my boy!  He has so much energy!

So I have a bit of a plan.  I want to keep to my budget on track, lose weight, declutter, and organize my house.  If I can focus on these things for awhile (say 2 or 3 months) then I will be in a position to have another baby if that's what I decide I still want to do.  My home is big enough, it's a rental and there are much larger families than mine living in these places.  But I would still like to buy a house, have more outdoor space, be in a nicer neighbourhood.  I will also need to make a decision about Mea, either way, and go with that.  I don't think she'd survive another baby, and her life is not so great right now as it is.  So that needs to be resolved, and will take some time. 

I'm also working on resolving my thoughts on a second baby or not.  Everything gives me some time to work that all out, and to possibly get to the doctor to get some tests done.  I'm just not sure if I need to go to the fertility clinic to even get the tests done, I know they would be better to interpret the results, but not necessarily needed to get the tests done, at least the blood work.  I am not sure how long I have, I'm 37 now.  My period has changed, though I think that's partly because of my choice to use mama cloth, which is fabulous btw.  My cycle is very regular now, fertility friend gets it right every month... which is kind of nice.  I haven't been temp'ing at all, suppose I should start that.  And once I decide to go ahead I have a list of supplements that can help.  Just not sure if I should be taking them now too.  Need to read more I guess.