The talker

When Jackson was about a year I was worried because he didn't talk very much.  I was showing him signs and he wouldn't do them. He always seemed to know what I was saying, just not want to talk himself.  Then he started.  And now he doesn't stop!  Honestly from when he wakes up until he falls asleep he is constantly talking, and eating.  It exhausts my parents when we visit, and me sometimes. But it's also pretty neat.

The latest thing is at bedtime he wants to chat, we talk about all kinds of things, once it was imagining our perfect house, tonight it was talking about our holidays that are coming up.  He always has one more thing to say.  If I leave before he's done I'll hear "mommy I have to tell you something!" over the monitor, and of course then have to listen to whatever he has to say. Sometimes he works out things that have happened, or things we watched.  When we watched Finding Nemo he kept asking why Nemo touched the boat, it was the part that he couldn't understand.

He is a pretty sensitive kid, he likes to try and make the other kids feel better if they are upset at daycare.  But on the other hand he also has quite the temper, and really doesn't like it when you call him on it.  He got mad at the dog and hit him on the head with a plastic hammer.  He got in trouble for it and I left him downstairs crying while I went up to find the dog and make sure he was ok.  A few nights later Jackson woke up crying because Riley was talking to him.  He said Riley told him "Jackson you hurt me!"  Ah so the guilt appeared.  It takes him awhile but he gets there.

And the eating.  My boy likes his food.  He starts eating as soon as I pick him up from daycare and doesn't stop until he falls asleep.  He takes a snack, or two, up to bed with him.  I only wish it wasn't so much carbs, crackers, cookies, granola bars, cereal.  He does love his beef jerky though, and I will be making more this weekend, it's hard to keep up!  I worry what he will be like when he hits his teens, will I be able to keep enough food around for him?  Who knows.  But I hope he keeps up with the few good habits mixed in there, he loves broccoli, fruits, carrots.  And protein. I am glad I have another year before he'll start school, so I can figure out what type of lunches to make for him, and how to pack them.

I am also working on his fine motor skills, he prefers to not have to do some things, anything really that takes control.  But he loves his Leappad, so he is using that for games and other things, using play doh, and anything else we can think of.  He doesn't really like to do art very much, no colouring or anything, but I do try to encourage it a bit.

All in all, I have to say I love that kid.  He is pretty great, and I enjoy the conversations we have. He likes to talk, and I like to listen to him. So that works out for us.

The Heat

It's gotten hot.  And I am not complaining about it really, but it's affecting Jackson a bit.  He was exhausted today and yesterday, I'm a little concerned he's coming down with something. Bad time of year to be sick.  I am very glad we have the central air this summer, I am not sure how we managed without it for so many summers.  It's funny that in the winter we long for summer but then the heat comes and we complain.  So I am not complaining, I am trying to enjoy it.  Of course sitting outside in a puddle of sweat is not really that much fun. So we try and do the outside stuff in early morning and after dinner.  Of course I'd rather just stay in, in general I'd rather stay in.  I am not so much of a social person I guess.  I don't mind that but I know it's harder for Jackson, so I do what I have to for him.

Last weekend we got together with a little friend of his from daycare, he's going off to school and his mom is determined to maintain connections for him, so there will be play dates in the future.  It was fun, but 4 hours at the park/splash pad was a little much for me.

We have new neighbours to move in soon, and the other side both houses are for sale, so I am hoping, really hoping, for a kid or two his age.  I do want him to have friends, and having playmates is important. As well as a small break for mommy.  I know that I need some small breaks, but still feel guilty.

Tonight he's gone to sleep early, he was asleep by 7:30 which is very unusual.  Yesterday he actually had a  nap!  He hasn't had a nap for me in months.  So he is either not feeling well or it's the heat.  I am hoping he stays asleep all night, and there are no early morning wake ups.

What next?

I'm feeling stuck.  Our lives have settled into a little routine, it's pretty boring and bland.  Now I'm not the type who likes too much excitement, but this is a little boring even for me.  We have the same routine every work day, and on the weekends. I try and get us out a bit more, we go to parties when invited, visit my parent's on the long weekends, stop by my sister's to play with her new puppy.  And of course spend too much time in stores, especially ones that sell toys.  But by nature I am an introvert, I prefer to spend time at home, relaxing. I know my son would prefer to be out at the parks, finding new friends to play with. I worry I am damaging him, or not giving him enough opportunities.

Normally when I feel like this I start dreaming, and planning. I plan to get a cat, or a dog, or have another baby.  Something.  And those thoughts are in me now.  The baby thing is tricky. I am fairly sure I am losing fertility quickly. I wanted to get another kitten, but money is an issue.  Or a dog,  but my current dog is being difficult and I'm considering giving him up to a rescue that will find him a new home.  What will happen?  I'm not entirely sure.

I know for sure I need to fix what I eat.  A lot of junk and processed stuff finds it's way into our home and meals.  That needs to change. As hard as it is.  I am not 100% sure how I will do that. But I am giving myself until the end of August to figure it out. At that time, if things are going well I will add in some supplements that may help improve my fertility. It gives me a bit of time to sort it out, and also to figure out if this is what I really want.

One thing I really need to work on is the toys. We have way too many and every time we leave the house he asks for more!  He tries anything he can think of to manipulate me into getting him more toys.  We don't have that kind of money but he doesn't get it. I am thinking an allowance will be what we need to do but how to start it and get him to understand it. What is a good amount to give? He's only 3 but the toys he wants are $20!  He used to be happy with the $1 car toys, now he wants the big ones. There are things we need to get, like a new bike for me, and a tow bar to connect his bike. I wanted to hire a dog trainer, but may not be able to do even that. Money sucks, and I've started him badly with it. Now I'm not sure how to fix it.

So health for me, finances for both of us. And in the end, we'll be better off for it. I hope to also get us out more, to do more. That may indeed be the hardest part of it all.

Messed up Cycles

Life is going pretty well for us.  The house is nice, and we are enjoying it.  The weather has really warmed up finally.  We finally have central air though and it is sure lovely.  We are still having some timing issues, with Jackson not wanting to sleep at bedtime, and daycare letting him nap too long.  It gets better, then worse again. Weekends are better, with no naps.  He loves his balance bike, and is so good at it now.  He should be on a regular bike by the end of the summer, my parents are getting him one soon. I am also going to get myself a better bike and a tow bar, so I'll be able to hook his up to mine and we can go off on longer rides. I hope. 

For me, I am struggling with my weight, as always, and in connection, my health.  Heartburn is back, and though my gallbladder has not flared up lately, knock wood, I don't feel entirely healthy. Slowly we are eating better, and with the kiddo's bike rides, I am getting some quick paced walks in.  I need to do more of course, since I want to heal myself.  I am also concerned, my monthly cycle is getting shorter, which I'm sure is not a good thing.  The past few months it has been 24 to 25 days, instead of the 28 it should be. I'll do some reading on that soon, thought I'm somewhat worried what the result means.

I've started doing some yoga, and hope to do some cardio and other things, short workouts. I do them after dinner, Jackson goes to play in the basement and I workout in the living room.  So far just a couple yoga workouts, it feels good to stretch. Jackson certainly doesn't like me taking the time from him, but he gets over it, and when I'm done he is happy to play again.

Why does it matter? I don't think I'm going to have a second child. Somedays I would love to, and other days, it seems stupid to consider it.  I have my hands full with one!  If I was going to do that I should have done it sooner. Now it seems too late, like I've missed the chance. Never mind the work, I'm not sure I can handle being pregnant again, giving birth, what to do about daycare, all of it.  Though I miss having a baby, miss that early stage that seems to fly by.  And I know it only lasts a little while, still is so amazing and fun though. 

Course there is also the lack of sleep thing, and with another child running around, who does not nap, well I can't see that being any fun at all.  In any case.  It seems to be irrelevant, I won't get the chance any way. I guess I just hate that I have no real choice.

What a day!

The weather is finally lovely and so we have been busy outside.  This morning we went and picked up 20 bags of soil for the backyard garden.  Then we had to get all of that into the backyard.  We went back out to pick up a few perennials, brought those home (along with some donuts) and went back out to take the dog to the dog park to run around.  My exercise for today, carrying 20 bags of 9kg of soil to the backyard, one at a time.  And walking around the dog park, chasing a dog and 3-year-old.  Phew!

When we came home from the dog park we had a late lunch and then Jackson went out to play with the neighbour kids in the front.  He had a lot of fun and is getting really good at his balance bike.  He was pretty upset when it was time to come back in but he did.  He was very tired, had a little rest on the couch while I made dinner, didn't eat his dinner, then wanted ice cream.

Speaking of ice cream, the ice cream truck came around while the kids were all out front.  First time for Jackson and he loved it.  I guess I'd better make sure to have a few bucks around the house from now on!  He ate about half of the ice cream, mama got to finish it ;-)

After dinner we went back out to the front but there were no kids, so we came back in and he had a snack before we were supposed to go up to have a bath and bed.  He saw the neighbours in their backyard, got upset, so I told him he could come back out to play after he was clean.  He finally agreed.  We went up, did the bath and put him back in clothes.  Then back out to the backyard.  At 8 I told him it was time to go in, he started screaming and throwing a fit.  The neighbours took him over the fence, and fed him a hamburger.  I went over after I fixed the screen door (unrelated to the fit throwing, it simply fell off).  He played tag until 9.  Not that he knows how to play of course, but he had a lot of fun and did a lot of running.  Fingers crossed he sleeps in tomorrow!  But it's not that likely. 

I am really going to miss these neighbours, they are very good to us, especially Jackson who likes them.  I really hope whoever moves in is as good and fun.  Jackson will make friends no matter what, he has no difficulty talking to new people and playing with them, he watches and then joins in.  Me, I have a hard time talking to new people but for his sake I do it.  Amazing what children push you to do that you never thought you could. 

Tomorrow will be another busy day.  We'll be putting the soil in the garden, possibly planting some seeds.  I'd like to do another dog walk and then of course there will be more playing outside. I also have a few loads of laundry to do, and meals to plan, prep and cook for.  It will be busy, and long, and hopefully the end is better than tonight (ie he goes to be before 9!).

The neighbours

We are settled in the new house, and it's starting to really look good, and be good to be here.  I have a raised garden bed in the back, that I still need to fill with soil, and got a sandbox, BBQ and everything put together.  Jackson likes playing out front best though.  The weather has finally gotten nice and Jackson likes to be out there where the neighbours are playing.  The funny part is they are all moving away. We'll have new neighbours and I hope that they have kids his age, the 3 closest houses to us will be all new people by summer, if they sell and rent that is. 

It is funny to watch Jackson play out there, the kids will bring their things over to the driveway and drop them, so he grabs them to play with. The kids try to reclaim them and he'll say they were done so it's his turn.  These are the daycare rules of play.  He doesn't understand that somethings belong to people and they don't want to share them.  We try to discuss it but he is pretty stubborn.  The one neighbour gave us a scooter and a blue push car that Jackson loves to play with.  Very nice, I will miss them. 

Of course now that the weather has improved, I've caught a cold. My usual spring cold I guess.  No it's not allergies.  I hope it gets better soon. I should have gone to bed early, sleep more. But I just really can't. I don't know why but I can't. I am worried about a lot of stuff I guess.  I am trying to fight it off, and trying to cook this week, take my lunch, eat better. All that good stuff. I have to plan my meals, and stick to the plan. I am getting the organic produce delivered biweekly which is great, Jackson loves it and so do I. 

I finally got moved at work to a window seat again. I missed it all winter, I'm sure it was part of why I was depressed.  Less sunlight. I also sit much closer to my coworkers, and have moved far from the yackers. It is a much nicer desk, glad to have it. And the work is making sense, I can do it, and fairly well too.

Spring has sprung... not!

I am very tired of winter and snow and all the nonsense that goes along with it.  We had a winter storm today, April 12th.  Freezing rain, snow, lots of loveliness.  I stayed home, Jackson stayed home. I just did not want to go anywhere to drive.  It made for a longish day, but Jackson played in the basement on his own for awhile, I played with him and we watched some TV.  It was a pretty good day, until bedtime of course. But even that seems to be getting better, or I am more immune to it, I don't know.  He still takes longer to fall asleep than I think he should.  But he cries less, I don't go up as often, and he seems to be getting better.

I am anxious to get our garage empty and the backyard filled up. We have a picnic table, outside coffee table, and BBQ to put together.  We also have the sandbox to fill up and set up.  I'd like to get a gazebo thing for some shade, and a couple raised beds.  We have no shade in the back in the afternoon and I think that will be important.  I also want to plant some vegetables in the back, perhaps some perennials and annuals but those don't need to go in the bed, they can be just a border garden.  I can either get the raised bed from a hardware store for about $100, plus the soil, or try and make one.  Which probably won't happen. 

I think growing some vegetables will be good for us both, could save some money, and it will be nice for Jackson to help.  I will have to be prepared to not really get very many actual vegetables, or have them picked too early, or too late.  Hopefully it will work out.

We got our second organic delivery box this week, it has some really good stuff in it, and Jackson has already eaten 2 of the pears, the whole red pepper, and I have to figure out what to do with the fennel.  I am really liking the boxes, but I am still thinking of switching to just vegetables.  We go to costco Saturday and will see what fruits they have, perhaps we can get some things to supplement, not sure. 

I bought a Neato, it is an awesome little robot vacuum.  It works.  Cleaned the whole main floor!  I hate cleaning, especially vacuuming.  Now I don't have to!  I set the machine and it will clean the main floor twice a week. I will either move it upstairs once a week or consider getting a second one at some point for up there.  The pets were really interested, well Riley just stayed out of the way, Joshua freaked out and was upset by it, and Snickers told me off the whole time it was going, like he was saying "that's not right, why is it moving on it's own?"  Very funny.  I had to run it today to see how it works of course.  Yes I know, we were home I could have just used the regular vacuum. 

Joshua had his checkup and will be getting fixed next Friday, about time.  He was really good at the appointment, and calm.  The operation should be pretty quick.  Hardest part will be no food after 10pm the night before, really just because the cats are normally fed at bed time so Snickers will be quite upset. 

The house next door is for sale. I checked out the ad of course, it's only 1 1/2 baths, and seems a bit smaller, though the backyard is a little bigger.  It has two big trees in the backyard, which shade it a lot, and would make for a bad garden space. It has laminate all over. I'm not sure I'd buy it.  I do hope whoever buys it make nice neighbours though.

Must be bedtime, I really need to get more sleep. And exercise. And eat better. Ok.