Happy New Year...

This new year has really sucked. New year's eve I was SICK. I spent the day throwing up, from at some point on the 30th right through until bed time at 7:30 on the 31st. Yes that is how late I managed to make it on the 31st. I have never thrown up that much in my life, I'm sure. I was so done with it, and Jackson was so fascinated with it. I was lucky and able to drop him off at daycare, but felt horribly guilty for it because I knew it would not be a short day for him. But I did what I had to do! I begged my sister to get me some ginger ale and she dropped it off outside the door, didn't want to risk getting infected herself. I slept when I wasn't throwing up, and eventually managed to go get the kiddo. I lay on the couch while he had cereal for supper, followed by a lot of candy. There were a lot of complaints about not getting to see the count down, I just didn't care.  The 1st was a little better but my other issues started, and continue. At least I haven't thrown up again but I have nothing in me. I have been living on that case of ginger ale, and some soup we bought yesterday. It just isn't gong well. I have no idea how I will manage to go to work tomorrow, never mind I have to drop my car off for it's repairs and pick up a rental. My poor boy has been living on cereal and whatever else he can reach, which seems to include a lot of candy and all the freezies. How he got those out of the freezer I have no idea. I am desperately hoping that this virus or whatever it is gets better, and goes away, and I can go to work tomorrow without wondering how long it takes to run to the bathroom. 

The thing about being a single mom in times like this is I have no back up. There is no one else around to help out, or feed the kid, or go buy me soup, or crackers. Or even just to entertain the boy. He has been really good and thank goodness he is at an age where he can do some things himself, he's potty trained, he is able to watch TV, play with his toys, get some snacks and things himself. But I do really wish there was another adult around right now to help out.

It doesn't help that something is wrong with the dog. Either he has the same virus I have or he's dying. I just don't care. How terrible of me? It's all I can do right now to take care of my kid, barely myself, no way I can add in taking care of the dog right now. Nothing extra any way. He hasn't eaten since some time Wednesday, except one treat Thursday which he threw up all over my bed at bedtime. This is of course the dog I don't know what to do with any way. I probably should have had him put down ages ago but didn't, and now I can't really afford to. We have a lot of expenses with the trip at the end of the month and I do not have $300 extra to deal with this. So he suffers, and I feel badly, but there isn't a lot I can do. He'll either get better or not... I did make him some rice, but he won't eat it. One thing about dogs is they generally won't starve themselves without reason. Cats would but not a dog. He has been drinking, but I'm not sure it's enough. Perhaps I won't need to worry about him while we are away after all... though I do have that taken care of any way. 

And speaking of the trip, I still haven't totally decided if we will spend two nights in Cape Canaveral or Orlando. Either way I think we will have fun, I just really wanted to go to Animal Kingdom for the day. At least the cruise is taken care of, and I've booked one excursion already, a beach day. Two I think we will do some free stuff and the last day I am debating which beach excursion will work for us. Since Jackson doesn't really swim well but does love the water and trying to swim. I don't think snorkling will be in this time, but perhaps next time.I want as much time on the beach as possible. Our room was assigned, and it's a pretty good location. Now to cross our fingers we don't end up with late dining since there is no way we'll have dinner at 8:15 when he is normally sound asleep by then. With me close after lately!

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year

Our holidays were a little subdued this year, my parents didn't come to visit. We did go to my sister's place for dinner, but otherwise we were home for pretty much all the time. It was quiet but nice. Jackson of course got a lot of toys, and had a lot of fun opening gifts. He was quite excited about Santa coming, and left out 4 cookies. He was thrilled to see that Santa ate 3 of them and left one with a bite out of it. I guess Santa got full. We didn't have any milk in the house so we left some water, I think Santa probably appreciated the change. Jackson ate a lot of junk on Christmas day, candy, chocolate, chips. And then a lovely dinner at my sister's. He ate turkey and gravy, peas, mashed potatoes and hash brown casserole. That night, around 2:30, he threw up. He is such a big boy, he went to the bathroom on his own and threw up in the toilet. Twice. I put him back to bed after the first time with a little bit of water, and checked his temperature.  No fever. After the second time I gave him a gravol and he slept until almost 9 am! That is unheard of, and the only day over our time off that he slept so late. Every other day it was 6:30 or 7. He complained of a sore stomach off and on, but no other symptoms, and he seemed to be fine otherwise, though he ate little since he was worried he would be sick again.

Today he is at daycare, They are open over the holidays, though I think fewer kids get sent in. Since I have to pay for it any way I send him. I think he has fun, and it is a little break for us. I have some plans to do things like clean the house, get a hair cut, go for a massage. I may leave the house today, other than to get him there and back, but I'm not sure yet. We got Netflix, and I am liking it. I am also loving my Google Chromecast, which lets me watch Netflix on the tv from my computer. We watched a lot of Dinosaur Train yesterday, and I am watching some not good for kids movies today.

On Christmas Eve, I finally settled our trip plans! We are going on a cruise. We are going to travel south and I am crazy excited! We will be going to Nassau, San Juan, St Thomas and Grand Turk. I cannot wait to sit on some beaches, build sandcastles, swim, eat! Jackson is also very excited. I suspect the ship will be lacking in young children, but we will manage quite nicely. I think he will enjoy the kids club more that way any way, more attention, perhaps a couple friends. We arrive in Florida two days before the cruise, so we will hopefully stay in Disney and go to Animal Kingdom, though we still haven't booked that bit of it. It is going to be a somewhat lean trip, I won't be able to get many souvenirs, or fun extras, but it should still be a lot of fun, and hopefully the first of many. The cruise is paid in full, and the flights. Just the hotel bit at the part, and a few little things like transfers to the port and excursions to worry about. Either way, we will have fun, and it will be a great vacation. Only 32 days away.

Happy 5th Birthday

Five years ago today I was in the hospital with a little baby boy newly in my arms. He was then, and is now, so much the love of my life. I never imagined when I had him that a person could love someone so much. 

Today we went to celebrate his birthday at one of his favourite restaurants. I'm happy because kids eat free on their birthday so his yummy rib dinner was free, and he loved it.

After dinner we came home and skype'd nanny & poppy so they could sing, and Jackson opened his presents while we watched. He loves his new monster treads, a bunch of John Deere tractors. I also got him some new clothes, 3 pairs of pj's and a few tops, along with a new sweater. He is currently in the pair or pajamas with feet, he loves them :-) The other two pairs have dinosaurs on them which I am sure he will love as well. And it means his spiderman pj's can be either washed more often or at least not worn every night, and most of the weekend. He refuses to get dressed on the weekend unless we are leaving the house.

How is it possible that my little baby is so big and grown up now? 

Bad luck and Birthday Party Excitement

Today was Jackson's 5th birthday party. I booked the same place I took him last year. He invited 7 little boys but only 6 came, it was still a lot of fun. And he got some nice gifts. I think everyone had a good time. It is funny that because he is in a split kindergarten class he is with kids much younger, and others a bit older than him. He turns 5 but had at least 3 of his friends who are just turned 4. At that age I guess it doesn't matter too much. The theme was dinosaurs, and my sister did a fabulous cake for the party.

Awesome dino cake!

The kids got to run and play, they were all red faced and tired by the end of the party. I think it was a great deal, perhaps we will be back again next year! The girl who did his party last year was there working and remembered us, which was nice. She didn't do his party though. 

The place has a play area, so you can bring your kid and let them play. It's a little costly for how long, and without a friend to go too it isn't as much fun. They do a "Kids night out" as well, which is really reasonable, $15 for 3 hours, drop the kids off at 6 pm, pick up at 9 pm and they play, have a snack and watch a movie. Jackson did it once but was very shy and quiet and it was hard to drop him off. He has now asked to go again though. So perhaps there are some nights out in my future! Or even nights in... drop him off and have 3 hours to myself, what would I do???

The bad luck bit is because of the morning. We went to get some groceries and a toy for the angel tree at school. Then stopped at the library to pick up a book I had on hold. Finally were going to pick up our passports from the post office but it didn't open until 11 and it was 10:30, so we started for home. Turning right onto a busy street, with a yield sign, light in my direction would have been red, and I stopped because a car was going kind of fast, I would have cut them off, or been hit, so I stopped. Well the lady behind me didn't so CRASH! I've had my car since the end of July. Seriously. It now has a big crack in the bumper, and I had the fun of dealing with all of that on birthday party day... I called my insurance as soon as we got home, because I was hit from behind I'm not at fault so won't have to pay the deductible. All in all it was really annoying though. Had to go way out to the police station and the lady police officer was rather rude at first, I was getting upset. She kept telling me I hadn't gotten enough information, but the 911 operator had taken it all down and I didn't have a pen or paper in the car. She eventually softened up a bit when I mentioned we'd been on the way to my son's birthday party. And then she found out the other lady had already been in to report it... so phew! Any way. Now to take the car in for an estimate (ugh) and then get it fixed, deal with a rental (thankfully covered!) and yeah... 

My neck, the back of my head hurts, is a bit sore. I've taken some ibuprofen, it seems to help but I think I'll go to the doctor on Monday just in case. We'll see if I feel better before then. I'm sure I'm fine, but I'd rather be safe than sorry! Jackson is fine, he swears nothing hurts, he is ok. He was in his booster seat, which I think I should replace? But I'm not sure. I mean the other lady's car wasn't even damaged, mine is fairly minor. No airbags were deployed or anything. I am waiting to talk to the insurance adjuster and see. Obviously if they cover the expense I will get him a new one. 

The irony of the car accident is we had one about 2 and a half years ago, a few months after I had gotten my car in 2012. We've had this car only a few months as well. I think perhaps I won't ever get a new car again! At least we are both ok, the car is drive-able, and it will all be sorted out. I'm getting to be a pro at this! I do wish people would notice that I'm there, and not moving, and you know, stop.

Loose Tooth!!

My baby has a loose tooth. It's the first one he got at 16 weeks. I remember when he got it. Now it's getting ready to fall out. My little boy is growing up! He is quite freaked out about it. I know he sort of understands, and we talked about how everyone loses their baby teeth and get new grown up teeth. I wasn't expecting it so early, I thought maybe when he's 6. He turns 5 in a few weeks but this seems early! I am reading that it's not, and that when kids get their teeth early, they lose them early too. He has also been complaining about something sore in the back, which can apparently be the 6 year molars. Though it was also when he had his virus, so could have been that. Having read up on it I am a little more calm, I was calm in front of him but a little concerned too! I thought the top ones fall out first but I was wrong, so that's a good thing since it's the one on the bottom that wiggles. He complained it hurt, I had to ask him multiple times if someone hit him or he fell or something, he says no, though he did tell me some story about his friend punching him in the face. Which I'm pretty sure was just a story since it happened "a while ago or maybe yesterday". Either way, I have to get tooth fairy ready! Oh my.

Otherwise he is feeling much better after the virus, and eating like normal, though I guess he'll be wanting softer foods for a bit now. We have his birthday party planned, my sister will make the dinosaur cake again. And we've sent the invitations home already. Early I know but I wanted people to have time to plan since it's so close to Christmas. I just hope that people will RSVP even if they are not coming, so we can perhaps invite someone else. The party is at a gym tale, and is for 8 children including the birthday boy, so we sent 7 invites, I had to talk him into all boys. I find it strange that boys will invite girls to their parties but girls never invite the boys! So I put my foot down, and told him to pick boys. Mean? Perhaps. And my boy does have a lot of girlfriends. Occasionally he says one is his girlfriend and he is going to marry her. Then they get in a fight and he decides that marrying me is a better idea. I'm sure he'll grow out of that though! I have tried to explain but he gets upset so I leave it for now :-)

Tomorrow is my last day at my current job, I am returning to my old team, but a new workflow. So I will be doing reports and stats, it should be more my speed. I hope. We'll see how long it lasts I guess. At least I have the opportunity to try new positions to find what works for me, what I am happy doing. I have not been happy, been stressed. I am working on those things. I am trying to cut out coffee (that's hard!) and so far am down to half a cup a day instead of two cups. I am sure I'll be at none by the weekend, then to cut the tea every so often. I am also going to bed earlier. Aiming for before 9 because 10 wasn't working for me. I still wake up tired, and wish I could sleep for days, but I hope it gets better soon. Sugar is the other thing to go, I'm working on that but it's hard! Sugar is in everything, and it's so yummy :-)  I will get there, hopefully sooner than later. Perhaps the holidays are not the best time to start?

And speaking of holidays, we are working on a list for Santa. Jackson would like a BIG train set. He currently has a figure 8 wooden set, which is great but doesn't offer many extras. So I plan to get him some add ons for it. I have debated a table and may still get him one. It would be nice for him to play at, but it's expensive and I didn't want to spend that much this year. He also wants a garbage truck and log truck, the ones he picked are about $60 each, so that isn't happening. My parents will find something along those lines for him, and of course there will be stocking stuffers, a board game of some sort and a paid of PJ's to open Christmas Eve. For myself, I want something so I can watch Netflix if I choose to get it. Something to be able to connect wirelessly to the internet and stream. We'll see about that I guess!

Poor sick kiddo

Life has been interesting lately. Things are going ok for the most part. I have been very unhappy in my job but that is at a point where it's changing. I was supposed to talk to my boss about it today but instead was at home taking kiddo to the doctor. He had a fever Tuesday night and yesterday we were home, he complained still this morning though his fever was gone. I tried to get him to go to school but he said he was too sick. Now we will be home tomorrow as well. He apparently has hand foot and mouth disease. Though he only has sores in his mouth. Which makes it very hard for him to eat or drink anything. He has had quite a bit of yogurt today, is obviously hungry but everything he tries makes him cry. Except yogurt. I even made him a milkshake but he said that hurt too. I'm at a loss, and sad for him. He missed his last swimming lesson tonight.  I will be missing 3 days of work and only have two days of family leave left to use. So I don't know how that will work, never heard back from my boss today. But what bothers me most is my poor kid who is so sick, and sore. I have been giving him tylenol and advil to help with the pain, but it's hard for him to even get those down. So what do I do! Poor kid.

He had a good Halloween, lots of candy, and lots of fun handing stuff out too. He was a dinosaur at school and for trick or treating. My niece took him around to get candy. He really enjoyed it, and was at a great age to do it, everything was enjoyable and fun. He really is at a good age for a lot of things. I can't wait for his birthday party. We have it booked at A Gym Tale again, he will have to choose 7 friends to invite. It is a fun party, and super easy for  me. Just have the kids show up, bring a cake. Easy. No clean up, and they even provide food.

The toy catalogs are coming out, and of course he wants everything in them. It's pretty funny really, of course he's not getting them all. I am going to have to get him to narrow it down to only two or three things that he wants. He really has too many toys as it is. And with our big Disney trip in the planning (and being paid for) stage, I don't want to spend too much on the holidays.

My plans for a Disney cruise have changed to a just Disney vacation. We'll be there for 9 night, at Animal Kingdom Lodge in a standard room. I have 6 days at the parks planned, with some fancy character meals in there, and two days off to do other things and relax. I have booked one meal for my birthday that I know he won't be happy about, but hopefully he'll get over it.

And when we get back I am thinking of getting a referral to the fertility clinic, just to see what my odds are. Since I'll have turned 40 I'm sure they won't be that great, but who knows. I am taking a few things that are supposed to help, and working on the weight/health thing. Not going well, that weight loss bit. I am hopeful that I will be able to do it though. If I could just focus and keep on track.

And now I'm going to go to bed, since I have kiddo all day tomorrow as well, I could stay up a bit later. But I'm tired, and it's going to be a long long weekend. Without a lot of the stuff I wanted to do. Fingers crossed he's able to eat something.

Sleep and Monsters

Jackson has never been the easiest to put to bed. I think he's somewhat like me, his mind just keeps going and going so he has a hard time calming down and falling asleep. Lately he's been getting worse again, now it's monsters in his room. I don't know where he got the idea from, he hasn't really ever watched anything scary like that. He has also said that he is afraid a bad guy will come into the house and kill us all. Again, where does he come up with this stuff?

It's been a struggle to keep my own calm and hold my temper when all I want is for him to finally just go to bed. I tried telling him there is no such thing as monsters, which I'm given to understand is not helpful. I have gone on one "monster hunt". That worked for awhile. Then I gave him a special night light to scare the monsters away. That worked for a short time too. I know he has some stuff going on in his head that he needs to work out. I understand some of it because I have done the same thing. I get a thought stuck and cannot move past it until I either talk it out or write it down. He can't write yet.

I am going to find some kind of meditation or visualization for him to use at bedtime, not sure if it will help but I hope so. I know I need to do some of the same. I have been stressed lately, justified but still it makes my stomach hurt and my head sad. I have trouble getting a full night sleep, wake up more tired than when I started. And I know that it doesn't need to be this way.

So for now I will perhaps need to shuffle up our bedtime routine, start earlier, add in more talking during the day and evening. He needs to work through things. I suspect I need to turn off the TV. Which I should do any way, but it's hard and he likes it. I know some things we need to do more of, and some less. I do feel like I can barely take care of myself right now, how can I take care of him as well? I guess I need to just do it.