Easter weekend

Another Easter weekend is done. We went down to visit my parents, of course. We drove down Thursday evening. I picked him up right after school and we stopped for dinner on the way down. It was a nice visit, we haven't been there since Thanksgiving in October so it's been 6 months or so since we saw them. I think Jackson has grown a lot since we were last down, he had fewer tantrums but still has some quirks my parents are not used to. He does not sit at the table to eat, he prefers to come and go. When he gets upset it can be a little difficult for them. He also likes to pick his nose, which they hate. I ignore because I have better things to fight over than where his finger is. Besides which, if we make a point of pointing it out, he tends to do it more. I am pretty sure the other children in his class do the same thing, and he'll grown out of it eventually... why stress over it?

My mom made a comment about how my nieces spent a week alone there every summer from when they were like 3, and he's 5 now. But he is not the girls, he is loud and talks a lot and is picky about eating, and sleeping, and he is a BOY. I am not sure I want to drop him off with them for a week, he was interesting because he loves being down there, but we'll see what he really thinks about it closer to the summer. Perhaps it will work out, but maybe not.

He also managed to get a bit sick down there, Sunday morning he woke up crying, saying his tummy hurt, and his head. After finding all the eggs, with plenty of stops for breaks because he was so tired, he went back to bed! He never does that. And of course all the medicine we had down there had expired so mom had gotten rid of it and not replaced it. On Easter Sunday, I had to drive 30 minutes each way to find a store that was open where I could get some medicine for him. One dose was all it took, he rested a bit longer then was raring to go. Soon as he started talking, you knew he was feeling better.

It was a nice weekend any way. The drive home was frustrating, people cannot drive! Do not go in the passing lane if you are not actually passing someone!  And the weather, it started raining, which turned into snow as we got closer to home. By the time we got on the 416 it was snowing a lot, and that road is very slippery, so we had to slow down quite a bit. But we made it home. The cats were happy to see us, and everything was as we left it. Happy to be home, no groceries in the house, and back to work tomorrow.  Lovely! I'll be stopping at the store on the way home I guess.

School

Today was an assembly at Jackson's school, and he won an award for justice. Apparently they give out awards every month for various Catholic values (it's a Catholic school so that makes sense). This month was his turn, and he was very excited. I managed to take the day off work so I could attend. I didn't need the whole day, but I took it any way. Worth it from my perspective, I got to sleep in a bit, do some groceries and things without help, and then go to the assembly. Jackson wanted to sit with me, but was told he had to wait until after he got his award. He was quite upset and cried at that, I wasn't sure why, he was a bit more upset than he should have been. After he got his award he came to sit with me, and whispered with me. He told me he fell in gym and hit his head, so I asked him to show me where, and he did. Then I felt a huge bump! Which was very tender to the touch. So that explained why he was so upset. I was a little upset myself, no one had said anything to me, I think they should have called over something like that. I mean he doesn't have a concussion, but it must have been a nasty fall for such a bump.

I made him go ask his teacher if he could leave, and she came to talk to me. She said she didn't feel his head because he wasn't crying by the time she got to see him, only that the gym teacher had gotten him an ice pack. He had told her it didn't hurt any more. I made him put some ice on it when we got home, and he did rest quite a bit, but he wasn't nauseous or anything, and given he has had a concussion before I am well aware of the symptoms. I am sure he will be better tomorrow. He did have a hard time falling asleep because he couldn't get comfortable on his head. He was trying to fall asleep on his stomach so he wouldn't make his head hurt. Poor kid.

It was also crazy hair day. So yesterday we bought some purple (washable) hair dye, and he loved having purple hair for the day. He had to have a bath tonight, and get it washed out of course, which I had to do extra gentle. He's had a few special days to raise money for a charity over lent. Two weeks ago was pajamas day. He has to donate $2 but it's worth it. I am proud of me for remembering and getting it done. It is kind of funny because I drop him off to daycare quite early. and there are the usual kids who get dropped off that early as well. On pajama day and again today, another mom dropped off her son and didn't remember that it was a special day. I'm not sure what she did today but last time she went home to get him pajamas. I'm sure it's terrible of me but it makes me feel better that I did remember. I'm sure I'll have my moment to forget as well.

I ordered a pack of OPK & HPT's today. Spent the money so I better use them. I ordered CoQ10 on the weekend but there was a delay with shipping so it won't arrive this week, I bought a small bottle at the store today to tide me over. I want to get started. Now if I could just really give up the sugar... why does it have to be so sweet and yummy ???

A project

Since my cat passed away while I was on vacation I have really been missing him. It's a bit silly I guess, I mean he was a cat. But he was such a good one, he was the one who cuddled with me and played, and was the first to come greet me at the door. I am on a waiting list to get a new cat. Yes I am going to a breeder, I have rescued pretty much all my other cats and just want one from a breeder, with a guarantee and the breed I want. I should be getting my new ocicat kitten in 3 months or so, not sure if it will be a boy or a girl, but it will come with shots, well socialized and already fixed.

In the meantime, I am focusing on the two cats who remain. Snickers is 7 and very overweight. I've put him on a diet, actually they both are I suppose. I switched them to wet/canned food instead of dry, though they do still get a bit because when I go away for long weekends it is much easier to deal with. So far he has lost 7 ounces, in about a week. That's around 2% of his body weight, so a bit quick for a cat, but he is still doing well. He is actually starting to play more, and interact with Elsa. Elsa is doing well, she is crazy playful and I usually wake up with her cuddled right beside me now. She will be a year old in a month.

The funny thing about my cat losing weight is that he is doing it faster than I am. And I am trying. I do have a lot more energy now, I want to workout. I get up before 5 and do a workout. I enjoy it, I actually want to do it! It feels good and pumps me up for the day. Even when I get home from work, I want to do more! It's weird and kind of nice. I am so anxious for the weather to improve so Jackson and I can get out biking, and hiking. I do need a new bike, but hopefully I can get one early and we can go on adventures.

Joshua and Elsa

Snickers with Elsa, Joshua in front

Planning

I'm in planning mode. Planning for this summer, planning for what I want. I am hoping to take 5 or 6 weeks off this summer, to spend with kiddo while he enjoys spending time with me. During that we will of course visit my parents, go the beach, and hopefully do an overnight train trip to Toronto to go to the Royal Ontario Museum to see the dinosaurs, just like Jackson's favourite tv show (one of them any way!).  That will be in August though, so lots of time until then.

Mean time I am getting on with my "lose weight, get moving" plan, and am focused on losing some weight. I would like to get to a "normal" weight but I will be happy with baby steps in that regard. I have started working out in the morning, early, and am actually enjoying it. Though it's difficult to get up, especially this week after the time change. But the weather is also improving so hopefully I will be able to get out for walks and such soon. I have to admit, the weight training is a bit of a pain! I know it's the best for me but ouch, my muscles hurt! I am so out of shape :-)  working on that!  Diet being such a big part of losing weight I have also improved that. All the usual things, more veggies, taking lunch, making meals, reduced processed food.

And then the supplements. I am taking quite a few! I ran out of CoQ10 which I have ordered and hopefully it come soon so I can restart that. I am hoping that it will all lead to improved health, and better eggs. I plan on going to my doctor for a referral after Easter, by then I hope to have lost 10 pounds (from when I started) and be "in the zone" in terms of eating and exercise. I believe it will take a few weeks to get in to see the fertility clinic. At that point I imagine there will be testing, which will take a month or so, depending when in my cycle I am for blood work. Then I will know where I am. And hopefully while I am off for those weeks in the summer I will be able to make at least one attempt at an IUI. It is a long wait, I have reasons for wanting to wait that long, including just timing of when baby 2 would be due. But if the doctor says it's too late, or almost too late, or something like that, perhaps it will be sooner.

I am 40, my son is 5. He'll be 6 when I have a second kid! Is that crazy? I have read that it can be good, he will be old enough to want to help, and be able to take care of himself to a certain extent. Plus he'll be in full day school, so I would be on mat leave with baby home alone during the day. See, already planning mat leave and I haven't even gone to the doctor yet!  Crazy.

Of course I have very little left from when Jackson was a baby, no crib, no car seat, no high chair, nothing like that. I think I still have the baby bath I used, and one or two of the toys. I will know what I need this time though, and not to get things that I may just want. I know new baby will sleep in my room for at least the first 6 months to a  year, then I think the two will share a room for awhile. Planning before I even see the doctor. Can you tell I've thought about this a lot? Just haven't been able to commit. Now I'm ready. I only hope it's not too late.

Decisions. Or Not.

We have been home awhile and I am still adjusting to my cat being gone. I don't really get it but I miss him a lot. I will be getting another one, probably in a few months. For now, we have enough pets. One of my cats is rather over weight. I have put him on a diet. Really I switched him, and the other cat, to canned food.  So far he has lost a few ounces, which is a good, slow, rate. They aren't too happy that the dry food has gone away, but they are adjusting and enjoying the canned stuff. When we go away, like at Easter, they'll get dry but hopefully they won't complain too much.

I have been making an effort to get healthier myself. Clean up the eating, and start exercising. I did 3 good workouts this past week, at 5 am. Because if I don't get up and do it, I won't do it at all. Thursday kiddo got up at 5:15 and it took me 10 minutes to get him back to bed, so I only did half a workout. Friday I was just tired, and skipped it. Bad. Next week is going to be rough, with the time change. But hopefully I will be able to get it done! I started with cardio, but am thinking weights would be a better choice, perhaps some circuit training which gives the benefits of both. We'll see I guess.

The weather is supposed to start warming up, I can't wait! I want to get out for walks, and perhaps bike rides. I think I need a new bike, and to remember how to ride it. I want to get out, be active! I was looking at taking a class, but it's quite hard to find the time, and a babysitter. I have taken Jackson to Kids Night Out twice now, he really likes it. His little friend is there. The kid from school I do not like. It would be a good time to do something for me. But of course I can't find a class nearby that I am interested in. So last time, I got my hair cut. And I could look at doing some massages. The evening is tricky though. I have booked one for next weekend when Jackson has a birthday party to attend. Oh, we still need to get a gift for that. Ugh.

In addition to the moving, and eating better, I am back on my plethora of pills. I need to get some CoQ10, but otherwise I am taking a handful of pills at breakfast and dinner. All in the name of trying to save my eggs. My poor, 40-year-old eggs. I'm not even sure I want to use them. That I want to move ahead and attempt to have a second kid. I mean Jackson will be 6 by the time a second would arrive. That's a big difference. I really should have done it sooner. Which is part of why I want to do it at all now. I feel I will regret it if I don't at last try. I already have regrets that I haven't already done something.

There is always an excuse, it's expensive, I'm in bad shape, overweight, I had the whole gallbladder thing. Jackson was having some issues when school started and I didn't want to go through that again. Daycare, it's expensive and tricky, and do I want to deal with that? Work, I'm finally in a good position, will this kill my chances of moving up more? Travel, we won't be able to take another trip for a long time, no Disney! No more cruises or beaches for at least 5 or 6 years. Is it worth it to mess that up? To mess up our lives? But I also think having another person in our family would be a good thing, that we are far too "attached" and need another person to break it up. I love my kid, I love that he loves me. I think I need to make the effort, at least get checked out, and try.

Stuff, our trip, and my poor Joshua

I am sitting here, at home alone, while Jackson is at Kids Night Out. It's a thing at the play gym he likes, Friday night from 6 to 9pm for $15. I was supposed to be going out to dinner with friends but they both cancelled on me so here I am watching a movie and feeling a bit sorry for myself. I guess this means I need some more friends, Perhaps to start dating. It's a limited time window though, 3 hours on Friday night. Or find a better babysitter? But that would cost more. I'll figure something out I guess. It is weird to be here without him home. I mean by now he'd be in bed and I'd be watching a movie any way.

We went on our big trip and it was amazing. Two nights at Art of Animation, a day at Animal Kingdom, then a 7-day cruise of the eastern Caribbean. The whole thing was so lovely, a little stressful, and perfect weather.

The hotel was pretty nice, the room was good. It was a long walk to our room, but it was quieter and near the quiet pool which we did use. We also walked up to the main pool to swim, but it was so cold out that night it was not as much fun! For me any way. The food was ok, breakfast wasn't the best but the pizza was good. At least Jackson thought so. We went to Downtown Disney the first evening after arrival and a swim. We wandered around, looked at some toys, and he chose to buy a lego set. One he could probably get here. But he likes it so it's ok.

We went to Animal Kingdom for the day on Saturday and it was awesome. It was cold when we got there, we did the safari right away, no wait, then went to breakfast at Tuskers and got breakfast with the characters. The food was good, but it was expensive for what we really got. After that we wandered, saw some trails, took the train out to Rafiki station and back, then he discovered the Boneyard. And that was pretty much that. He spent a lot of time there, expensive tickets for him to play at a playground! We did go to Expedition Everest, it was terrifying to me. I'm scared of heights. Jackson wasn't too happy either, but we did it and I don't regret it. We did the safari again at the end of the day and it was cool to see the animals both morning and late afternoon. We ate a lot of ice cream at the park as well. We had dinner back at the resort, and then went for that late cold swim.

Next morning we waited for the shuttle to take us to the cruise, it was an interesting experience getting to the ship but we made it. It was very exciting to get there, and the whole ship was pretty nice. I do wish I had chosen a different boat, but it was nice enough. Our cabin was great, inside, and the bed was done up as a king instead of two twins, so we shared a bed the whole week.  We were assigned late dining which sucked. But the first night's dinner was tasty. No dessert because Jackson was falling asleep at the table.

Our first port was Nassau. It was really nice. We did a day pass at a nearby hotel and it was great, the beach was gorgeous and quiet, Jackson had a lot of fun and I was able to let him run around without worry. We ate there as well, it was kind of included in the price, and we were able to walk to and from the ship.

The next day was at sea. It wasn't the best day. We did a Dr Seuss parade and story telling, Jackson finally agreed to some time in the kids club, so I got to read on the deck. We went for breakfast at the sea day brunch, and got made to wait while others got in, so I complained after breakfast and that evening we got told we could do the any time dining. Which meant that was the last late night of dinner!  Phew. 

We then did 3 ports back to back, San Juan, St Thomas and Grand Turk. Of the 3 I loved St Thomas most. San Juan was nice but there were a lot of ships in port, and it was a lot of walking. We had fun exploring the fort but it was hot and I got sweaty! We got a few souvenirs, and I think Jackson enjoyed it. We ordered room service for the first time that day for lunch, which was so nice! 

St Thomas was my favourite beach. It was gorgeous, clear and so warm. The drive was a bit crazy. But over all that was the best stop. I don't think we actually bought anything there, but we did have a lot of fun. We spent the whole time in the water, just swimming, Jackson loved it and it was nice for me too. 

Final stop was Grand Turk. It was ok. It was free at least, nothing to pay for in port. We swam but it was rocky so not as much fun for me. I was glad we had water shoes. Jackson went to the kids club that evening, and he ate dinner there! So I ate a table with some other nice people, it was kind of nice. 

The last day was again at sea. It was very rough. We were both sea sick. But we managed to get out of the room by around 2, after some extra sleep, medicine and some more room service. We did a family scavenger hunt, which only one other family participated in, so we won a trophy! It was fun and Jackson really enjoyed it and loves his trophy. Dinner was good, We both felt better by then and he was able to go to the last night at the kids club, to say good bye up there. 

Next day we flew home! The trip home was good, the shuttle went much better. There were no problems with anything and the flight was good. But man oh man, the cold. That really rather sucked. My sister picked us up at the airport, and had a chicken pot pie for us for dinner. Then we got home and she gave me the news. My poor poor sweet Joshua died while we were gone. He was not even 3 and I loved that cat! He was such a sweetie and really my favourite. It has been two weeks and I still miss him so much.  So yes, I will be getting another cat. Hopefully in a few months, I would love it to be sooner but I want to wait for the right cat.

Joshua when he was just about a year

Happy New Year...

This new year has really sucked. New year's eve I was SICK. I spent the day throwing up, from at some point on the 30th right through until bed time at 7:30 on the 31st. Yes that is how late I managed to make it on the 31st. I have never thrown up that much in my life, I'm sure. I was so done with it, and Jackson was so fascinated with it. I was lucky and able to drop him off at daycare, but felt horribly guilty for it because I knew it would not be a short day for him. But I did what I had to do! I begged my sister to get me some ginger ale and she dropped it off outside the door, didn't want to risk getting infected herself. I slept when I wasn't throwing up, and eventually managed to go get the kiddo. I lay on the couch while he had cereal for supper, followed by a lot of candy. There were a lot of complaints about not getting to see the count down, I just didn't care.  The 1st was a little better but my other issues started, and continue. At least I haven't thrown up again but I have nothing in me. I have been living on that case of ginger ale, and some soup we bought yesterday. It just isn't gong well. I have no idea how I will manage to go to work tomorrow, never mind I have to drop my car off for it's repairs and pick up a rental. My poor boy has been living on cereal and whatever else he can reach, which seems to include a lot of candy and all the freezies. How he got those out of the freezer I have no idea. I am desperately hoping that this virus or whatever it is gets better, and goes away, and I can go to work tomorrow without wondering how long it takes to run to the bathroom. 

The thing about being a single mom in times like this is I have no back up. There is no one else around to help out, or feed the kid, or go buy me soup, or crackers. Or even just to entertain the boy. He has been really good and thank goodness he is at an age where he can do some things himself, he's potty trained, he is able to watch TV, play with his toys, get some snacks and things himself. But I do really wish there was another adult around right now to help out.

It doesn't help that something is wrong with the dog. Either he has the same virus I have or he's dying. I just don't care. How terrible of me? It's all I can do right now to take care of my kid, barely myself, no way I can add in taking care of the dog right now. Nothing extra any way. He hasn't eaten since some time Wednesday, except one treat Thursday which he threw up all over my bed at bedtime. This is of course the dog I don't know what to do with any way. I probably should have had him put down ages ago but didn't, and now I can't really afford to. We have a lot of expenses with the trip at the end of the month and I do not have $300 extra to deal with this. So he suffers, and I feel badly, but there isn't a lot I can do. He'll either get better or not... I did make him some rice, but he won't eat it. One thing about dogs is they generally won't starve themselves without reason. Cats would but not a dog. He has been drinking, but I'm not sure it's enough. Perhaps I won't need to worry about him while we are away after all... though I do have that taken care of any way. 

And speaking of the trip, I still haven't totally decided if we will spend two nights in Cape Canaveral or Orlando. Either way I think we will have fun, I just really wanted to go to Animal Kingdom for the day. At least the cruise is taken care of, and I've booked one excursion already, a beach day. Two I think we will do some free stuff and the last day I am debating which beach excursion will work for us. Since Jackson doesn't really swim well but does love the water and trying to swim. I don't think snorkling will be in this time, but perhaps next time.I want as much time on the beach as possible. Our room was assigned, and it's a pretty good location. Now to cross our fingers we don't end up with late dining since there is no way we'll have dinner at 8:15 when he is normally sound asleep by then. With me close after lately!