Wow it's March!

 I can't believe it's March already. This year is flying by. So far it's going ok. Things are starting to open back up, so at least in terms of restrictions, things are getting better here. Jackson goes for his booster shot this Saturday, I wanted to get it as soon as possible so he is well protected as they remove restrictions. He won't have to wear a mask at recess, though he said he might still any way.

School. What a disaster, he's really only going because he has basketball tryouts going on this week, otherwise it is a struggle to get him there twice a week. I feel like this is such a wasted year. I wonder if we should have just stuck with homeschooling and been done with it. At least then I also wouldn't have to drive much in winter! I've been getting most things delivered and avoiding driving and being out as much as possible. I am really looking forward to spring though, and hopefully then going to stores again. Things are all frightfully expensive. Everything is going up so much! I'm trying to eat better, trying to do keto actually, but it can be expensive. I suppose that will help me cut back on how much I eat, as well as the carbs involved. 

Work is frustrating, I feel like I'm always being asked to do things without anyone understanding what's involved. It's getting a bit much, but I applied on a higher level process so if I get into that pool, hopefully it will lead to a promotion and then I guess I can't complain if they ask too much of me. That is the difference really. I'm not at a level where I should be the go to for other managers to ask questions. It is nice to be needed, but also too much at times. My team is growing, we are hiring more people to do the work and it's my job to set up who will do what, and ensure they are trained. 

We have a trip planned for May. I cannot wait. It's a cruise from Bayonne, we may drive. I currently have flights booked but may move those flights to something else, or who knows. We also have a cruise booked for August but I'm not sure if we'll do it or not. If we do, I may rebook it in a lower cabin to save some money. We'll see. Living through another winter here I would prefer to travel in winter and just stay home in summer, but you can't cruise to Bermuda in winter, and New York would be more fun in summer I think? Maybe any way. We could add a few days to the cruise in May in order to see New York some. Again, we'll see. 

I'd still like to move as well, but there are some good things about here, the cost for the biggest thing. And all the space. But oh I need to declutter and redo somethings. I want to get rid of some of the furniture, replace a few things, just update it to what I would actually like. I did buy a new TV stand with an electric fireplace in it, and a bigger smart TV that I am loving. It's even controlled by voice which is crazy. I'd like to get rid of my couch, keep the loveseat and a comfy chair, maybe add a new chair in the modern style I like. Also the table and chairs, it's a nice set but we never really use it. I could maybe sell it and we have a small white table that was used as a desk, buy a couple new chairs and voila! All the places we are looking at moving to have islands and I'd just prefer to eat there than also have a table and chairs. So it would make sense. I'm waiting for spring. Once the weather improves it will hopefully be easier to clean up a few things, donate them maybe. I don't really know at this point, the thought of it all gets overwhelming. At least some things are looking better. 

Although I have little choice in this any more, I am mostly ok with only have one child. Mostly but not completely. I have moments of grief, of regret, of wondering if it would still be possible. I can totally say I regret not moving forward when I was 41, regardless of what was going on. And that covid made travel so much harder so donor eggs became impossible for me too. I wish that right now I had two kids upstairs, or even sitting here with me. I wish that things were different. But I am also not sure I could do another round of elementary school. That place we horrible for him and me really. High school isn't proving to be that much better, but at least it's not as bad. And I have hope that it will improve when restrictions are lifted even more. I am 47 now. I know other women have had kids at this age or even older, but were they already menopausal? I haven't had a period since August 2019. There is no doubt my eggs are gone and my reproductive time is done. My son is 12, how much longer will he even be here with me? And then? I guess then I can do as I please, though what that will mean I have no idea. 

Goodbye 2021

 The past two years have been trying. I know we are much better off than many people, I didn't lose my job and have been able to work from home, kiddo was old enough to get vaccinated sooner than later, we managed to do well in the big picture. But oh it has been trying. Homeschooling did not go very well really, but when he finally went back to school it didn't last as long it should have. He has been missing a lot of days. I hope that he will get back when it starts back up again. Ontario has delayed that by two days, I'm not sure what that is supposed to do but there it is. I have to get back to work on Tuesday and we'll have to get back on a proper sleep schedule before then. Staying up late and sleeping in isn't the best, but sleeping in sure is nice. 

Christmas was quiet, we stayed home as my sister didn't want to hold a get together. There were a few presents, just enough I think. And we'll end up with just over two weeks of vacation, at home. Together. Just the two of us. That is one thing that I wish would get better. He has many anxiety issues that he refuses to address, and I can't help with when he won't let me. So there is no going to play with friends or even being able to play online with no monitor. We need to work on that, so he can go to school without worrying, and eventually be able to fly again without getting sick. Since he refuses to actually speak to the psychologist himself it becomes more difficult, I have to get him to listen to the advice coming from me. I wish he'd just go to one or two sessions himself, perhaps he'd find it helpful and want to continue on himself, leaving me out of the middle of it. Any way. We will work on this and hopefully he'll be able to go on whatever trip we have next, and go to school everyday. 

I wish we had moved, it would be nice to be a nice new place, but we've saved some money, which we've then spent on eating out (or ordering in I guess) and going on the quick trip to Disney. I am very glad we went on that, even though it's hard to remember it at all. Given the current variant, and everything else, I am worried we won't be able to cruise in March. As much as I really want to cruise. I guess we'll have to see, still have a few weeks to decide on what to do. My landlord is raising the rent, which is fair, and it's still lower than any comparable place nearby. It's hard in this area if I want to keep him in the school. 

Olaf is adorable, and quite a handful. He is doing better with the other cats. He gets along with the dog. Still has to sleep in his room most nights, he is just a lot at night and chases poor Elsa from my room which isn't fair to her. Hopefully he'll be good in a few more weeks, and we'll keep trying. He naps on the couch with KitKat now at least, and sometimes Snickers, but everyone loves Snickers. I love all the pets, they are all so cute and make me smile. 

A new year starts tomorrow. What will 2022 bring? No real ideas, I hope we get to travel again, I hope covid goes away or at least we learn to live with it more than we have been, no more lock downs. We are both vaccinated, I've been boostered as well. I am glad I'll still be able to work from home, I hope Jackson will get back to school and continues to do well. I need to cook more, buy less, declutter more, replace a few things, stick to a budget and move more. A lot more. 

I hope we are able to get away for March break, and in August. Perhaps we will move, but that's not a guarantee at all. Losing some weight would be nice, the moving more will help with that I think. And hopefully that will help with snoring, and energy. I should keep a better sleep schedule as well, and would like Jackson to have a better one as well. 

In the end, it will be another year, they continue on. 

Back to School

 Jackson went back to school on Tuesday. He has one friend in his class, but a few other kids he knows as well. So far he seems to be enjoying it. But he doesn't eat much while he's there, he has a big "snack" when he gets home. Today that was two plates of leftover chicken fried rice. Then half a pizza for supper an hour later. So that will be fun. I am glad he is doing well so far. Math is his least favourite class, of course, and he loves gym. The gym teacher is his fav as well, and also teaches Science and History, so he has her twice a day every day. Other than homeroom, followed by Language, the rest of his classes are all mixed up. He has math, language and gym daily, then French, history, geography, science, religion/family life make up the rest, 6 classes a day, two then snack, two then lunch/recess, two then done! He is allowed to have his phone, and texts me between classes and at lunch. It's super cute and I love that he fills me in on what's going on. 

I have to admit, it has been really nice to have him gone during the day while I work. I do take him to school and pick him up, though he walked home today. It is good. I like having the house to myself, the first couple days I was off work and it was really nice. I miss "me time". Tonight he is off playing basketball with friends, probably done soon as it's getting dark. I will see how the weekend goes, he goes for his second covid shot on Saturday but otherwise we have no real plans, maybe laundry? I'm sure he will want to play basketball. Maybe go for a hike in the woods. It's still warm and the leaves haven't started to change yet. I'm sure that is coming soon enough.

Now that I am home alone all day, I want to have a nicer space for working. It's a bit of a mess, and while it doesn't really matter if there is no separate room since no one else is home, I'd just like it to be a little better. I will need to figure out the layout of the room, I don't want to move upstairs since I still want the guest room to be a cat room for Olaf over night. I will also need to fit in the cat wheel when it comes. And I have some things to get sold, but still need to sort out a couple things before I can sell them. I was waiting for school to start and see what's what. I should be able to take some time this weekend, and week, to work on that.

I do think the year away from the school system was good for him. And me. I know he will do ok this  year, and I will advocate for him whenever I need to. He is learning things, and making some friends. He looks forward to trying out for basketball in February, and I wonder if there will be any other teams he wants to try out for. I hope so, but not sure. 

KitKat and Olaf napping together

Vaccinated.

 Today I got my second dose of vaccine. Because this is Canada it took over 8 weeks, and is different from my first dose. But it's done. Two weeks and I'll be "safe". Not that kiddo will be, sadly Ontario is giving me a hard time about getting him done until his birthday. If we lived in a different province he'd already have his first dose. Frustrating. We'll figure something out eventually I guess, but I do feel like I need to start planning for a backup vacation in December, or how to cancel what's booked, or part of what's booked. Any way, we'll see how that goes.

We have a few things planned for summer, the local water park is open by reservation so I booked it for the first Saturday it's open. We also booked a day at Canada's Wonderland near Toronto, and hopefully we'll go to the zoo as well. So much driving that will bug me but we'll manage. It'll be nice to have a vacation of sorts. 

Friday was the last day of the school year. All his friends who stuck with the school got t-shirts, pictures and a diploma. I'm a little sad his name won't be on the wall, he won't have those memories, but I also think he did better this year than if he'd been in classes. He learned a lot. I am a little worried that he will have a hard time in Grade 7, and it won't last. I am also worried that they will try and make me go back to the office, and I don't want to, at all. I quite like working from home and hope I can manage to remain doing so. I'd like to go pick up my stuff from work, it's all still there, but other than an occasional meeting, I want to be at home. 

I still have a lot of sorting to do here, lots of cleaning and reorganizing, but I do feel like it's on track. I also still have an urge to move. But I have stronger urges to travel. It's a strange dilemma, which one do I focus on. At least the AC has been fixed, I did a few things to fix things up. But there is still work to do, and frustrating critters in the garage. The AC was broken during the heat wave, they came to fix it a week later, we survived, went to the beach a lot actually. And had a mattress in the living room for Jackson to sleep on, apparently I snore too loudly to be able to stay with him. 

Todays dose seems to have made me sleepy, so I think I will be going to bed early tonight, will need to put little Olaf to bed early. He is adorable, and plays well with the dog. The other cats aren't keen on him but I think they will be eventually. Or he'll stick with the dog. Either way, he's cute, playful and healthy. And he sleeps in the guest room because he is a pain when it's sleep time. 

Vaccine one done

 On Sunday the province announced that they were lowering the age to 40+ on the astrazeneca vaccine available in pharmacies. I was super excited to hear this and signed up for all the places and wait lists. Yesterday I got an email from one of the pharmacies that they have "walk in" places so I called to see if they had any available, they made me an appointment for today and I got the shot at 12:45. I am so happy. There is a 16 week wait for shot two but I don't care, just relieved. It was interesting to see so many other people there excited to be getting vaccinated. Interesting too, as soon as they lowered the age, the appointments booked up fast. I think many people in the 55+ were waiting for a "better" shot which honestly irritates me, even if it led to me getting mine sooner. 

Now who knows how long it will be for Jackson to get his. If he was already 12 I'd be less worried about that. I do hope it happens this year. It will impact our plans for December. I am hoping we can cruise but if not, we'll spend two weeks in Orlando and do Disney/Universal or something. Easy. We will travel!!

I hope I don't have a bad reaction to the vaccine, I already feel a bit tired, had a nap after work, and my head/jaw hurts but that happens to me a lot since I grind my teeth and clench my jaw all the time. I will try and wait it out, see what happens. I am ready to take the day off tomorrow if I have to, I have sick leave I can use. I do have a grocery order to pick up, which I can cancel now but would like to get. I am sure I'll be able to manage it any way, just have to drive there, they load the stuff in the trunk and I drive home, put everything away (that's the hard part lol). But I've managed more when sicker so I'm sure I can manage this. I guess that's when being a single mom and having to do it all pays off, I'm used to managing things no matter how I feel. 

On the move front, while I decided to move, I changed my mind and we'll be here for a little while still. I am going to use the time to really declutter and clean up (for reals this time). I want to be in a position that if we decide to move, we can do it quickly. I have some other financial goals, buying a house is not one of them though. I am still thinking of moving to a smaller town outside the city, but we'll see what happens with work from home, and Jackson's school in the fall. 

I am so happy to be vaccinated once, and cannot wait for number 2. Phew!