I'm feeling stuck. Our lives have settled into a little routine, it's pretty boring and bland. Now I'm not the type who likes too much excitement, but this is a little boring even for me. We have the same routine every work day, and on the weekends. I try and get us out a bit more, we go to parties when invited, visit my parent's on the long weekends, stop by my sister's to play with her new puppy. And of course spend too much time in stores, especially ones that sell toys. But by nature I am an introvert, I prefer to spend time at home, relaxing. I know my son would prefer to be out at the parks, finding new friends to play with. I worry I am damaging him, or not giving him enough opportunities.
Normally when I feel like this I start dreaming, and planning. I plan to get a cat, or a dog, or have another baby. Something. And those thoughts are in me now. The baby thing is tricky. I am fairly sure I am losing fertility quickly. I wanted to get another kitten, but money is an issue. Or a dog, but my current dog is being difficult and I'm considering giving him up to a rescue that will find him a new home. What will happen? I'm not entirely sure.
I know for sure I need to fix what I eat. A lot of junk and processed stuff finds it's way into our home and meals. That needs to change. As hard as it is. I am not 100% sure how I will do that. But I am giving myself until the end of August to figure it out. At that time, if things are going well I will add in some supplements that may help improve my fertility. It gives me a bit of time to sort it out, and also to figure out if this is what I really want.
One thing I really need to work on is the toys. We have way too many and every time we leave the house he asks for more! He tries anything he can think of to manipulate me into getting him more toys. We don't have that kind of money but he doesn't get it. I am thinking an allowance will be what we need to do but how to start it and get him to understand it. What is a good amount to give? He's only 3 but the toys he wants are $20! He used to be happy with the $1 car toys, now he wants the big ones. There are things we need to get, like a new bike for me, and a tow bar to connect his bike. I wanted to hire a dog trainer, but may not be able to do even that. Money sucks, and I've started him badly with it. Now I'm not sure how to fix it.
So health for me, finances for both of us. And in the end, we'll be better off for it. I hope to also get us out more, to do more. That may indeed be the hardest part of it all.
