Thursday, March 26, 2015


Today was an assembly at Jackson's school, and he won an award for justice. Apparently they give out awards every month for various Catholic values (it's a Catholic school so that makes sense). This month was his turn, and he was very excited. I managed to take the day off work so I could attend. I didn't need the whole day, but I took it any way. Worth it from my perspective, I got to sleep in a bit, do some groceries and things without help, and then go to the assembly. Jackson wanted to sit with me, but was told he had to wait until after he got his award. He was quite upset and cried at that, I wasn't sure why, he was a bit more upset than he should have been. After he got his award he came to sit with me, and whispered with me. He told me he fell in gym and hit his head, so I asked him to show me where, and he did. Then I felt a huge bump! Which was very tender to the touch. So that explained why he was so upset. I was a little upset myself, no one had said anything to me, I think they should have called over something like that. I mean he doesn't have a concussion, but it must have been a nasty fall for such a bump.

I made him go ask his teacher if he could leave, and she came to talk to me. She said she didn't feel his head because he wasn't crying by the time she got to see him, only that the gym teacher had gotten him an ice pack. He had told her it didn't hurt any more. I made him put some ice on it when we got home, and he did rest quite a bit, but he wasn't nauseous or anything, and given he has had a concussion before I am well aware of the symptoms. I am sure he will be better tomorrow. He did have a hard time falling asleep because he couldn't get comfortable on his head. He was trying to fall asleep on his stomach so he wouldn't make his head hurt. Poor kid.

It was also crazy hair day. So yesterday we bought some purple (washable) hair dye, and he loved having purple hair for the day. He had to have a bath tonight, and get it washed out of course, which I had to do extra gentle. He's had a few special days to raise money for a charity over lent. Two weeks ago was pajamas day. He has to donate $2 but it's worth it. I am proud of me for remembering and getting it done. It is kind of funny because I drop him off to daycare quite early. and there are the usual kids who get dropped off that early as well. On pajama day and again today, another mom dropped off her son and didn't remember that it was a special day. I'm not sure what she did today but last time she went home to get him pajamas. I'm sure it's terrible of me but it makes me feel better that I did remember. I'm sure I'll have my moment to forget as well.

I ordered a pack of OPK & HPT's today. Spent the money so I better use them. I ordered CoQ10 on the weekend but there was a delay with shipping so it won't arrive this week, I bought a small bottle at the store today to tide me over. I want to get started. Now if I could just really give up the sugar... why does it have to be so sweet and yummy ???

Thursday, March 12, 2015

A project

Since my cat passed away while I was on vacation I have really been missing him. It's a bit silly I guess, I mean he was a cat. But he was such a good one, he was the one who cuddled with me and played, and was the first to come greet me at the door. I am on a waiting list to get a new cat. Yes I am going to a breeder, I have rescued pretty much all my other cats and just want one from a breeder, with a guarantee and the breed I want. I should be getting my new ocicat kitten in 3 months or so, not sure if it will be a boy or a girl, but it will come with shots, well socialized and already fixed.

In the meantime, I am focusing on the two cats who remain. Snickers is 7 and very overweight. I've put him on a diet, actually they both are I suppose. I switched them to wet/canned food instead of dry, though they do still get a bit because when I go away for long weekends it is much easier to deal with. So far he has lost 7 ounces, in about a week. That's around 2% of his body weight, so a bit quick for a cat, but he is still doing well. He is actually starting to play more, and interact with Elsa. Elsa is doing well, she is crazy playful and I usually wake up with her cuddled right beside me now. She will be a year old in a month.

The funny thing about my cat losing weight is that he is doing it faster than I am. And I am trying. I do have a lot more energy now, I want to workout. I get up before 5 and do a workout. I enjoy it, I actually want to do it! It feels good and pumps me up for the day. Even when I get home from work, I want to do more! It's weird and kind of nice. I am so anxious for the weather to improve so Jackson and I can get out biking, and hiking. I do need a new bike, but hopefully I can get one early and we can go on adventures.

Joshua and Elsa

Snickers with Elsa, Joshua in front

Tuesday, March 10, 2015


I'm in planning mode. Planning for this summer, planning for what I want. I am hoping to take 5 or 6 weeks off this summer, to spend with kiddo while he enjoys spending time with me. During that we will of course visit my parents, go the beach, and hopefully do an overnight train trip to Toronto to go to the Royal Ontario Museum to see the dinosaurs, just like Jackson's favourite tv show (one of them any way!).  That will be in August though, so lots of time until then.

Mean time I am getting on with my "lose weight, get moving" plan, and am focused on losing some weight. I would like to get to a "normal" weight but I will be happy with baby steps in that regard. I have started working out in the morning, early, and am actually enjoying it. Though it's difficult to get up, especially this week after the time change. But the weather is also improving so hopefully I will be able to get out for walks and such soon. I have to admit, the weight training is a bit of a pain! I know it's the best for me but ouch, my muscles hurt! I am so out of shape :-)  working on that!  Diet being such a big part of losing weight I have also improved that. All the usual things, more veggies, taking lunch, making meals, reduced processed food.

And then the supplements. I am taking quite a few! I ran out of CoQ10 which I have ordered and hopefully it come soon so I can restart that. I am hoping that it will all lead to improved health, and better eggs. I plan on going to my doctor for a referral after Easter, by then I hope to have lost 10 pounds (from when I started) and be "in the zone" in terms of eating and exercise. I believe it will take a few weeks to get in to see the fertility clinic. At that point I imagine there will be testing, which will take a month or so, depending when in my cycle I am for blood work. Then I will know where I am. And hopefully while I am off for those weeks in the summer I will be able to make at least one attempt at an IUI. It is a long wait, I have reasons for wanting to wait that long, including just timing of when baby 2 would be due. But if the doctor says it's too late, or almost too late, or something like that, perhaps it will be sooner.

I am 40, my son is 5. He'll be 6 when I have a second kid! Is that crazy? I have read that it can be good, he will be old enough to want to help, and be able to take care of himself to a certain extent. Plus he'll be in full day school, so I would be on mat leave with baby home alone during the day. See, already planning mat leave and I haven't even gone to the doctor yet!  Crazy.

Of course I have very little left from when Jackson was a baby, no crib, no car seat, no high chair, nothing like that. I think I still have the baby bath I used, and one or two of the toys. I will know what I need this time though, and not to get things that I may just want. I know new baby will sleep in my room for at least the first 6 months to a  year, then I think the two will share a room for awhile. Planning before I even see the doctor. Can you tell I've thought about this a lot? Just haven't been able to commit. Now I'm ready. I only hope it's not too late.

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Decisions. Or Not.

We have been home awhile and I am still adjusting to my cat being gone. I don't really get it but I miss him a lot. I will be getting another one, probably in a few months. For now, we have enough pets. One of my cats is rather over weight. I have put him on a diet. Really I switched him, and the other cat, to canned food.  So far he has lost a few ounces, which is a good, slow, rate. They aren't too happy that the dry food has gone away, but they are adjusting and enjoying the canned stuff. When we go away, like at Easter, they'll get dry but hopefully they won't complain too much.

I have been making an effort to get healthier myself. Clean up the eating, and start exercising. I did 3 good workouts this past week, at 5 am. Because if I don't get up and do it, I won't do it at all. Thursday kiddo got up at 5:15 and it took me 10 minutes to get him back to bed, so I only did half a workout. Friday I was just tired, and skipped it. Bad. Next week is going to be rough, with the time change. But hopefully I will be able to get it done! I started with cardio, but am thinking weights would be a better choice, perhaps some circuit training which gives the benefits of both. We'll see I guess.

The weather is supposed to start warming up, I can't wait! I want to get out for walks, and perhaps bike rides. I think I need a new bike, and to remember how to ride it. I want to get out, be active! I was looking at taking a class, but it's quite hard to find the time, and a babysitter. I have taken Jackson to Kids Night Out twice now, he really likes it. His little friend is there. The kid from school I do not like. It would be a good time to do something for me. But of course I can't find a class nearby that I am interested in. So last time, I got my hair cut. And I could look at doing some massages. The evening is tricky though. I have booked one for next weekend when Jackson has a birthday party to attend. Oh, we still need to get a gift for that. Ugh.

In addition to the moving, and eating better, I am back on my plethora of pills. I need to get some CoQ10, but otherwise I am taking a handful of pills at breakfast and dinner. All in the name of trying to save my eggs. My poor, 40-year-old eggs. I'm not even sure I want to use them. That I want to move ahead and attempt to have a second kid. I mean Jackson will be 6 by the time a second would arrive. That's a big difference. I really should have done it sooner. Which is part of why I want to do it at all now. I feel I will regret it if I don't at last try. I already have regrets that I haven't already done something.

There is always an excuse, it's expensive, I'm in bad shape, overweight, I had the whole gallbladder thing. Jackson was having some issues when school started and I didn't want to go through that again. Daycare, it's expensive and tricky, and do I want to deal with that? Work, I'm finally in a good position, will this kill my chances of moving up more? Travel, we won't be able to take another trip for a long time, no Disney! No more cruises or beaches for at least 5 or 6 years. Is it worth it to mess that up? To mess up our lives? But I also think having another person in our family would be a good thing, that we are far too "attached" and need another person to break it up. I love my kid, I love that he loves me. I think I need to make the effort, at least get checked out, and try.