Sunday, February 14, 2016

Long weekend fever

Another February weekend. Supposed to be busy with a birthday party and an SMC get together. But instead I am wondering how to take sick kiddo to the store to pick up a few more things for him to help him get better. He was complaining Friday night that he had a sore throat. Since I have a cold I've been fighting I gave him some cold medicine and he went to sleep. Woke up early yesterday and was his usual self. He wouldn't eat breakfast, we had a fight about that, then went to run some errands and get me some more medicine. When we got home I offered him something else to eat. He asked for leftover pizza. I heated it up for him but he didn't eat it. I gave him some juice, didn't drink that either. He said his head and tummy hurt. I figured it was because he hadn't had anything much to eat or drink yet. So I made him some chicken noodle soup. Which he ended up throwing up.

Say goodbye to the birthday party. I tried to give him some chewable advils and he threw those up too. Managed to get him to swallow half an adult gravol, which seemed to help. He can't do the chewable things, they make him gag! Ugh. Of course that's all we have. But as he tells me, a fever helps your body fight sickness... far too smart for 6 my kid.

Told him if he didn't eat or drink something we'd have to go to the hospital, found some popsicles in the freezer, he ate 3 and felt better. Had a nap all afternoon, he is not a napper. Was up for a little bit in the evening and back in bed by 7:30. He got up at 7 this morning as always, still feeling hot to touch but didn't want to be in bed any more. So he's watching TV now.

And I need to find a way to get to the store to get him some liquid advil, the only stuff I have is expired two years ago. How does that happen? I'd also like to get more OJ and chicken noodle soup, and apple sauce I think. Maybe some more popsicles. This is one of those times it would be nice to have another adult in the house! Or at least one I can call to come stay with him for 30 minutes. But who do you ask to do that with a sick kid? Ugh. Couple more years I'd be ok to leave him alone for a little bit.

I really really hope he's better by Tuesday. We have tomorrow off for Family day, but I have work on Tuesday and am replacing my Director's EA. I can't really miss the days, and I don't want to. For the first time in ages I am actually liking what I do. And it's good exposure, I think my Director now knows who I am and perhaps that will help lead to something better for me. He's already volunteered me for a collaborative project with another area that I think would normally go to a Manager, which I am not. Of course kiddo is sick when I wish he wasn't. I had things planned to get done yesterday while he was at the party, which didn't happen. At least we did get some stuff done before I realized he is actually quite sick.

Here's to another day of kid shows. And super cold weather.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Evenings and tempers

I turned 41 on the weekend. Yuck. I know it's just another year and people tell me things like I only look 35... but I feel older. Since I'm another whole year older I feel like I should make some better choices. I should be better at some things than I am. Like taking care of kiddo. With my winter sadness this year I feel like I'm not doing very well at it. Like I'm just doing the basics and not really focusing on him and what he needs. So I am trying to change that.

Last night was a little rough. I did well and didn't turn on the computer or play on the phone until he was in bed. But bedtime was difficult. He kept getting up. I finally got him back in bed, may have yelled a bit, and he asked me to help him. But how do you help a kid who is now saying the monsters are in the bed with him? I know it is because of something else in his head, but getting him to talk about it is difficult. He finally said he doesn't like people yelling at him all the time, that he wants to be good "like Scott". We talked about how people are not always yelling at him because they are mad, but that sometimes it is because he doesn't seem to be paying attention to what they are saying, and what he should be doing. How people who raise their voice are not necessarily yelling. We talked about how he is younger than the other kids, he is a December baby, almost a year younger than some of the kids in his class. And how it is hard to listen sometimes. I told him to try and look at the teacher when she is talking, and to do what she is asking.

Then tonight, he played on the computer, instead of me, but no TV on. We went up at bed time and he read me two books for his readathon. Then I tried to talk about his day as we do at bedtime and he started fooling around, trying to avoid talking. So I got upset, and said "this is why people get mad at you, you aren't listening". Which of course was not the best thing to say. He finally said he was upset because he fell at recess and got hurt, his leg still hurts, and "no one helped him". We talked about what happened, he fell on the ice, actually on top of his friend. Was his friend hurt? No. What happened next? He said he crawled off the ice, but didn't tell a teacher. I told him that next time he needs to tell a teacher if he is that hurt! Hopefully his leg is better tomorrow. He was walking fine, and able to climb on some big snow hills around the parking lot.

Hopefully I can keep doing better. I am trying any way. I know we need to start bedtime earlier, but we already head up at 7 and I think that's early enough. Getting him to read has been tricky, he needs to practice, and likes to read, but he doesn't like to not be good at it so he doesn't like to try too hard. As with most things, if he isn't perfect right off the bat he gets upset and wants to quit. A bit of a perfectionist.

Jackson goes to a Catholic school, and tomorrow is the start of Lent, so he wants to "fast" and give up candy. He thinks that also means he has to give up his bear paw cookies, but I have told him I think just sweet things, like candy and his fruit roll ups. We shall see how long it lasts! I am not sure I will be giving up anything, other than the electronics between dinner and bedtime.

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Winter Sadness

I don't like winter. Even ones like this year where we didn't get snow until very late, and the weather hasn't been that bad. I have a hard time and used to get depressed a lot. It has been almost 7 years since my last bad winter. I think last year would have been bad if we hadn't gone on our trip. With that in mind we will be going away next February. This year we are going in May and I guess it is too late really. It will be an awesome trip, but it's still over 3 months away!

I have been feeling down. I haven't felt like this since before I had kiddo. I guess I haven't been taking my vitamin D or anything lately. I have started that at least. Hopefully it will help a bit. Work is going to be more interesting for a couple weeks as well, I will be taking over for someone on vacation and doing something a little more challenging than I normally do. Hopefully that helps as well. I feel like I haven't been the best mom lately. I get short tempered, and long for alone time. Which is not good with a kiddo running around.

Last night they had a movie night at the school. It's free,you can order pizza or buy snacks, but I didn't have any cash. Never seem to have actual cash! Money in the bank but not in my purse... Any way. Jackson really wanted to go and I did not. I had actually forgotten about it but of course he had not. We went, I was cranky. I didn't have any desire to see the movie, he doesn't actually like movies, but we went. And he ran around the gym where they showed the movie. It was so loud, so many children running around, so few actually watching the movie! But he was happy so I am glad we went even though it was difficult for me.

My birthday is tomorrow. I turn 41. And I wonder about what my life is. I am trying to be happy with what we have. We rent a nice place with a landlord that fixes things pretty quickly. He replaced the washing machine within a week when it broke. I wish we could be living in something we (or the bank) owns, but until we sign a new contract at work it won't happen. We are travelling. We did the trip last year that was so awesome. This year we are going on a 4 night cruise and 3 nights at Disney. I can't wait, we are trying a different cruise line but I think it will be good too, and I am hoping to do more. I love cruising because everything is included. Well for us since I don't drink, and we are happy with the drinks that are included. I also love waking up in a new place every day or two, seeing different beaches, different countries, different everything! I still get to sit and relax while he's being taken care of by the kids club, and he has fun meeting new kids from other places.

I am trying to brighten my mood. The last time I was able to use some cognitive stuff to help, so I am trying that again, and my vitamin D. I know exercise, and eating better, would help as well. I am going to start my Walking in the morning, I do indoor videos to start usually. It makes me feel better to move, but I tend to fall off the wagon and get lazy. I have been doing a lower carb thing the past week. It gets a little pricey sometimes, if I don't pay attention to sales. But I feel so much better when I follow it, and it helps I usually lose a few pounds too. I add in extra carbs for Jackson but I think he does better eating more vegetables and proteins too. Though he may disagree... since he loves his rice, pasta and french fries! But he is good about veggies and now that we have had a discussion about how frozen veggies in winter are what we can afford (why is cauliflower $6!) he is willing to eat them. So that helps.

We have an SMC get together next weekend and I really want to go. But I also just want to stay home. I think it is good for Jackson that we go, even though he is a little over it since there seem to be more "babies" there now. I like that he sees other families made up like ours. Of course many of them now have a second, are expecting a second (in one case expecting twins after a singleton!) and with the new little babies, it all just makes me come home saying I need to have another baby. But I'm 41. Or I will be in 6 hours any way :-)  How did I let so much time pass? I should be watching two kids, or three, play on the floor right now, instead of one little boy who is my life and so amazing. He is pretty awesome. I love him. And I want to be better for him.