Another month is almost over!

 Time is a strange thing this year. It goes super fast at times, yet seems to be moving like a snail. I'm sure it's a covid side effect. With restrictions coming and going, school not happening really, and work the same, day after day. I am trying to stay positive, sometimes it's really hard. I know that when winter arrives it is going to get even harder. At least now we can go for walks, enjoy some sunshine. Once the snow starts, it will be harder to get out, at least for me. I haven't been that great about getting out for walks this past week. I have, what I hope, is a cold. I have no idea where I caught it, but I was exhausted for a couple days and Jackson had to fall asleep on his own. First time since he was about 3 or 4 he's done that. He was really good at it up until he started school. Then I had to sit with him until he fell sleep every night. Which has now been going on for so many years I've lost track. Now, finally, he's going to sleep on his own. Which means I can go to bed when I am tired! I don't have to wait for him to feel sleepy. He can stay up and watch his videos or whatever and I can be asleep. Its a game changer. He is a night owl, through and through. I am not, not when I have to be at work at 7. He had a rough few nights at first, staying up until 2 or 4, and sleeping until 11 or whenever. But he's back on schedule now. Last night he was asleep just after 11. Still feels late to me, but for a weekend, its ok.

He has been doing some math work, and realizing it isn't as bad as he thought it would be. He knew how to do the problems so he was happy about that. It only takes 10 or 15 minutes a day and he is learning a lot of other stuff as well. On his own. I would like him to do some reading comprehension as well, but we'll see if he's game for that tomorrow. I am not too worried about it, which perhaps isn't a very mothery thing to say, but I know he will learn what he needs to learn. 

One thing I am trying to cling to in all of this, I love being able to work from home. Though I do not care for my current job, I know opportunities will come up eventually should I want to seek them. And the ability to be home is amazing. Not having to drive to work, deal with people, winter driving, pay for parking, all of that is awesome. I have a space set up, finally, and can shut it all off at the end of the day. I am not sure where we will fit in the Christmas tree this year but I am sure we will manage something. I do still need to declutter the basement so maybe some of the toys can go down there, even if only for December. I do think we'll need a new tree this year. I'd love to get a smaller one, or perhaps a narrow one? Not sure, but the one we have is older than kiddo and the cats have destroyed a few branches from sleeping in it. I am sure they'll do that to another one as well, but perhaps if it is narrow we'll manage to keep it up and not broken. 

Kiddo will be 11 soon. Hard to imagine. I so regret not trying to give him a sibling way back when. I had chances but always thought this one thing would have to be perfect first, either my weight, or buying a house instead of renting. Whatever it was, I missed my chances. I am out of luck now it seems, apparently my family goes through menopause early so I'd have to spend a small fortune on the chance. And it sucks because if I had done this when he was 2 or 3, or even 6 or 7, I would have had to spend a little bit. I think we would have a better time of it now if we had another person around. He would certainly be a great big brother, he can be super caring and thoughtful. His temper tends to get in the way of things a lot. But even that is getting a bit better to deal with. Given the money I'd need to do donor eggs it would take at least another year, and after that, a year before a baby, and so kiddo would be 13. That's a really big age gap. And means a baby would be 8 to 10 when I am able to retire. Would that be good? Maybe. But I'd also have spent a lot of money so close to when I want to retire, which wouldn't be good. Though I also have a really good pension plan so does it really matter? Having to pay for a child with only pension income might be hard. But I could also do some consultant work, a lot of people that retire from my employer do that after. Lots to consider. But either way, I need the money to do it. Which I could have next year as I'll be getting a bunch of back pay. So yeah. I could maybe do it? 6-ish months to decide I guess. 

Happy Thanksgiving 2020

 What a different year this is. Normally we'd head to my sister's for dinner, or possibly my parent's. But this year, we are home. And since a big ole turkey dinner is way too much for us, when Jackson doesn't really like any of it, we will have a chicken with some gravy and he can have pasta or rice with his. Should still be yummy, but different from regular years. We did go visit my parents on Friday, before restrictions here locked up again. Considering neither kiddo nor I have been out of the house much in the past few weeks, it did feel quite safe. We won't see my sister and her family though, they are spending a lot of time up at their cottage (well brother in law and niece any way, my sister doesn't go). I think that's actually against the new rules, but I'm not going to cause them a problem over it. Just keep our distance really. 

Halloween promises to be another strange holiday, I have promised to buy lots of candy and we'll just stay home. He hasn't really got any friends to go trick or treating with at this point any way. Which is strange and interesting. He has always felt like he'll never make friends, yet he has never really had any good ones. I have suggested we could move, perhaps to a smaller town just outside Ottawa, and have a lower cost of living, more space. And he'd make new friends, though that would require him going to school. Another thing to think on any way. As long as I am close enough to go in some days to the office, eventually. I will be pushing to work from home as much as possible. At least until Jackson is a bit older, or back in school full time. I am looking at a few places, they are closer to my parents. But still rentals. And then I'm not sure if its "worth it" to move. Perhaps we should wait a bit longer, another year or whatever. Maybe someday I can buy a place, though to be honest, if I just wait until I'm retired, and he's moved out, I can get a smaller condo type place maybe? Or an RV and just drive south when it's cold. 

We watched all the Harry Potter movies, which he enjoyed. And have led to an increased desire to visit Universal Studios. Maybe in a year, or two. Probably a combo trip with our Favourite Disney. There are some new rides coming there and it is our happy place for sure. We already have two cruises booked for 2022 and 2023 so will have to fit it around those, and if we do more trips, we won't be moving any time soon! We still have to watch the Fantastic Beasts movies, but those should be coming out soon for us to watch. 

After Halloween it will be the count down to winter and Christmas. I have already told him there won't be a big birthday party this year, but that means I'll get him a proper gift instead of paying for an expensive party. We will go to my parent's to celebrate and maybe see Auntie and her family. When asked what he wants, he doesn't know besides a gaming computer. But apparently my dad may be upgrading his computer and then giving his to kiddo... that one does play the games he likes better and I think we could maybe upgrade the graphics card to help with lag as well. Then the laptop goes to my mom, or someone. 

At some point we should go for a walk in the woods to see the pretty fall colours. The weather has just been so rainy lately that I'm sure it's pure mud on all the trails. It would be nice to be out in the fresh air and enjoy some nature. The trails nearby are ok but not really nature trails at all. I am not sure Gatineau that is possible, Quebec's rates are as bad or worse than Ottawa so I don't really want to risk it. There are some trails near here, I'm not sure how busy they are, I imagine when the weather is nice they will be very busy though. 

Other than having to go for dog food next week, I should need much of anything grocery wise for at least a few weeks. That is nice, and hopefully means we won't have to head out to any stores. I'll need cat food too but that I get delivered as it's cheaper. Avoid going out much is key. Eventually things will improve again, I hope. Eventually, things will return to a more normal state, though I doubt they will ever be what they were. Some pieces of this lock down and isolation will probably continue, work from home would be great to keep going, but it would be nice to travel again. I can live with masks, if we have to, though they can be a pain at times. 

I've been reading some online, people who are all upset because of the lockdowns, and they raise some good points, that it is destroying people in poor areas, in other countries that have relied on tourism and not for profits. I see it, but I also see this disease that we know so little about, we don't know the long term impacts of people having this disease. Maybe the death rate isn't super high, but there are more and more people who are having serious long term impacts from it. People who recover, who don't have the virus any more, but are having issues with lungs, lethargy, blood clotting issues, so many health problems. And with things running rampant south of the border, I am all for keeping that closed until they get it together. The problem of course is we can't open travel to over seas without opening to the US, so we are stuck. Keep the 2 week isolation until things can be kept safer, until there is better tracking of contacts. 

I do know people who have had problems because of this lock down, because things were closed for so long. So many businesses that have closed. I am thankful that the government is at least doing something to help, that there are benefits being brought in to help people make a living wage. I hope these types of things continue, this is how Canada's universal health care started, this is how we need to continue. Yes, we pay a lot of taxes because of these things but it seems worth it to me. I don't have to worry that if I get sick, I will have a massive bill to pay because of it. When I had my gallbladder problems I didn't have to worry about my hospital stay or the surgery, it was all covered. Any way. All interesting stuff to think about.