Tuesday, September 27, 2016

First Appointment

Well. The doctor seemed nice. He told me at 41 my chances with IUI are about 5%. If I do IVF it goes to 15-20%.  But because I have a child, and have been pregnant before he thinks my odds are not too bad. Now the fun tests start. I have to get blood work done on day 21, which is next week. Then on Day 1 I call and have to schedule two ultrasounds, one to check my insides and the other the HSG. I also then need day 3 blood work, and they will recheck my thyroid. Apparently I also need STD testing, which kind of makes me laugh, I mean it's been like 7 years, or more? something like that any way! Oh well. And a urine test because he didn't do swabs to check for a couple things. Then I have to speak to a psychologist before I can use donor sperm. I sent a message to my insurance to see if that is at all covered. Fingers crossed!

I am also now on synthroid, which the pharmacist seemed to think would make me not tired, lose weight... yeah I'll believe it when it happens! I am supposed to take it separate from Calcium, Magnesium, Iron, which sucks since I take those at breakfast and dinner now... so I'll need to rejuggle those supplements. And I do hope they help.

Luckily the clinic is really close to work, so going at lunch for blood work will not be an issue. The ultrasounds will be a little tricky, but I'll manage. I think the HSG I will take the day off for, or at least half the day if I can. I've heard it's ok but also that it really sucks, so going based on it will suck, I'll take the day off, take advil, and cross my fingers.

When I asked about how long this all takes he said a month. Wow. I know it'll be about 3 weeks to get all the tests done, I doubt I will catch the October cycle, but November? Hmm. Crazy. Once I got to see the doctor, things seem to be moving.

Oh, he also expressed concern because of my hernia, which is where they would deal with an ectopic, if that should happen. I am not too worried about that, though I have read there is a higher chance of those when over 40, but he seemed to think it was only 1 or 2% so not a big deal.

It was kind of funny him talking about things in such simple terms, given the reading and research I've done. I may be new to the office but I'm not new to the terminology and details.

Now I have some next steps. And really need to let go of one more trip, which makes me a little sad. I know I will be able to take both kids in time, but I had hoped for one more with just Jackson. I know I could do Disney, but if I am pregnant at that time, it would be silly since I can't do a lot of the rides.

Any way! Everything is on track, I will start the thyroid meds in the morning I guess. I'd do one today and then tomorrow morning but I don't want to mess things up. I'll need to go for so many blood tests, Ugh. And all the rest. At least I've already had a look at the sperm bank catalogues and narrowed down my choices, as long as they are available when I need them I have a couple choices. That part seemed easy. I guess I'm not putting as much thought into it as I could?

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Regular days

Well Jackson is back at school, and I am back at work. All in all, I prefer vacations! It feels like I didn't have any time off. I think that's always the way it goes. I'm already planning the next vacation, though I am not sure what I'll be able to do. Since I want to have another baby, all my cruise plans have to be on hold. Zika is just too scary to deal with. I may be able to do a Disney trip as it is not there, but we'll see I guess.

I go to the fertility clinic on Tuesday. I am taking the whole day off, silly probably but I suspect I will have a lot to think over after the appointment, though I won't have had most tests done by then I am sure the doctor will have some information for me just based on my age and history. I hope he'll treat my thyroid as well, or I will have to go back to the family doctor for that. Someone on one of the forums I frequent posted this link to a calculator that gives you your chances of success, according to that, by 3 tries I should be at 40%, which seems high, but I cross my fingers that's right, or even better.

Work has been irritating. I work for a large government department and there are lots of divisions and teams. No one seems to get along or have the same end goal. We are working on a couple projects and I sent emails to let other areas know as they could benefit, well it blew up with so many people wanting to get there hands in there, and it should be so simple. But of course now it's not. And it bugs me! I do not seem to get along with people sometimes.

My kid seems to be similar. His teacher had to talk to me already. Apparently he's been touching other kids on the playground, so we had a chat about that. She also mentioned that in group work he sometimes has a hard time with kids he doesn't know well. She said he's very intelligent so when the other kids take some time to "get it" he gets frustrated. Yup. That's my boy! He is doing well in the split class I think, but I am concerned he will be bored next year. Hopefully it will work out. Who knows, we may be in a new school by then any way.

Speaking of homes, I am still torn on what to do. I'd love a brand new home. But the location of the one I like is not the best. So then I could go with a different builder, and a better location. But then what I want is all upgrades, so the price goes up and up. I could go with an older home, but then I want something that is perhaps further from the city, with a bigger yard, and I am not the best at yard work and such things. I guess it doesn't really matter too much now as I do have to get the money first.

All in all, life goes on! The weather is cooling off so that is nice. Jackson has busy weekends with swimming lessons, and playing with the neighbour girl. Evenings get to lazy, especially by Friday when we are both tired. And all the tv shows I like are slowly coming back with new episodes. Thank goodness I can tape them since bedtime seems to last longer than ever. But once asleep he does seem to sleep all night. And he's getting himself dressed in the morning after I wake him up. That's a good step.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

First day of Grade 2!

I took Jackson up to school this morning. We walked, he wasn't too happy about that but he managed. It isn't far but he'd prefer to ride his bike. We don't have a lock for it so I didn't want it left there all day and no way I could ride it home!  He saw Nolan as soon as we got there, but we didn't see any lists. Eventually a crowd of parents went back around the corner of the school so we followed and I saw the grade 3 & 2/3 lists... there was his name! He's in the 2/3 split phew! We met his teacher and she noted that he's in daycare so she knows where he goes at the end of the day. He wasn't too impressed with the kids in his class. Bradley is in there so that's good, and Scott (smartest kid last year according to Jackson). He also knows at least a few of the grade 3 kids. He was a little worried that he was going to have to learn the grade 3 stuff already, but I told him to just focus on the grade 2 stuff. I am sure he'll do great and I am actually glad he'll be pushed a bit. I hope his teacher sets up a twitter or blog or something like the others all have.

He let me cut his hair Sunday night, it looks not bad. He picked out his clothes this morning. He is really excited to start wearing his new school clothes, but they are warmer and it's supposed to be hot today.

First day of Grade 2! 

Monday, September 5, 2016

Almost back to school

Jackson starts grade 2 tomorrow. He let me cut his hair last night. I should really take a class or something because I am not the best at it! But he looks cute, with a few stray hairs I missed :-)  He isn't too excited about it, I guess school is old news now. Right now he is at the neighbours playing. She was over here yesterday, which then led to a massive melt down and fight when I wouldn't let him go play again. I am enjoying the grown up tv channel. But wondering if I should go get him soon. I just don't want to face the fight.

His backpack is ready for the new year, along with a fancy pencil case and all the new supplies. I read the September school newsletter and see there will be a 1/2 split, a fully grade 2 class and a 2/3 split. I am not too pleased. I hope he is in either the 2 or 2/3 split. I know my son, he will be distracted with a split class but at least in a 2/3 split he will be distracted by harder work and perhaps push himself harder. I guess we will find out tomorrow. The teachers are all new to him, I guess they hired some new ones. The one he thought he'd be getting is actually teaching kindergarten this year. I also hope the one boy I do not like isn't in his class. I know the rest of the boys will not be a problem, he has lots of friends. Just that one boy.

We were at the park yesterday and there is a little orange and white cat. Very sweet, followed up around, not fixed. Jackson says the cat has been around the school for awhile now. I am sure he is very lost, but haven't seen any ads for him. Of course being an unneutered male he could be from miles away, they do wander to find girlfriends. If I had the money I would have brought him home, or rather to the vet to get a check up first. I do want another male cat, and orange cats have always been a soft spot for me. But I wanted to wait until we move, and I didn't want to pick up a stray! But oh do we both feel bad for the little kitty and wanted to bring him home.

Jackson doesn't know I am off the whole week. It's my last vacation week and I look forward to it. I need to start going to bed earlier and be ready to get up earlier too. I have an appointment with the nurse Wednesday and will need some blood work later in the week. Otherwise I plan to declutter, pack up some toys and hopefully work on the basement. As fall is quickly arriving, now is the time to load up the garage with garbage to toss. Once winter hits we like to park in the garage so there is less room to fill it up. Garbage pick up is only biweekly, but I should be able to get rid of some stuff. I should have been doing it over the holidays but it was hard with kiddo around. He likes to be in the same space as me.

I really wish I could plan a trip. I am trying to be responsible, and know that if I am buying a house I shouldn't spend the money on a trip. Plus of course the zika thing, everywhere I want to go it's there and I do not want to risk my future child. Why of why have I waited so long to do this? I should already have two kids. The message to anyone waiting for the perfect time, there isn't one, do it! I have to remember that even if we can't go on a trip for a few years, I can travel when I'm older too. And I will.

Thursday, September 1, 2016

September already!

I can't believe August is already over. Time just seems to fly by. I'm not sure what we did all month. I know there were some parks, way too much shopping, a quick trip to my parent's, and a few daycare days. School starts on Tuesday, but I don't go back to work until Monday the 12th. I have some time off while kiddo is in school. I do have an appointment with the nurse practitioner for my women's check up (and hopefully a tetanus shot which apparently I need), and I have to go get a follow up TSH test for my thyroid. Tomorrow kiddo goes for the last day of summer daycare. He has moved up to group C, from group D. Even though he is the youngest in the grade they moved him up because it meant so much to him. I hope it goes well. He doesn't want to go but I feel it's important to get back into "school" mode a bit. Tuesday I will take him to school to see who his teacher is, and then he'll go to daycare after and I'll pick him up from there. Last year he was sick the first day, looking back now I think it was nerves. He won't be doing that this year.

I switched his bed to the bigger double from the twin he had. The first night was rough but he likes it now. I had to get some new sheets for the bed, and would still like another fitted just in case, we have a bunch of top sheets for it for some reason. He sleeps right in the middle of the bed. I like it for bedtime, since I sit in his room for what seems like forever while he settles down. And of course it is much more comfortable for story time. I was worried it would take up too much space but it fits well. The twin is in the guest room now, and there is actually room in there for a crib to go with it, should that be needed.

His fish is doing well. I had to really clean the little tank after our trip to my parent's. I put in a weekend feeder which was way too much for the little guy. I don't think he really ate any of. I would like to get a timed feeder for him, there is one on amazon I will look at getting. Of course now (as I tend to get obsessed with ideas) I'd like to get him a big proper 5 gallon tank with filter, heater, and all that. But I will hold off. I'd like to wait until we buy a house but who knows when that will be!

Speaking of homes, we have looked at quite a few model homes. One set was really nice. We looked at the big homes we can't afford. But even the basic townhome had a model we really liked. Jackson's room would have a cheater door to the bathroom, which he loves, and I could get the laundry upstairs, as well as a really nice master en suite and fancy kitchen. The best thing is the basic finishes are the granite I love (undermount sink!!) and hardwood on the main. I really like the homes, and the builder seems to do a great job, with nice finishes. But of course it's at the top of the budget, and in an area of town where I lived as a kid but haven't been to as an adult. It would be a further commute, not sure about the schools but that would likely work out ok. As I sit here watching tiny homes on HGTV. Yeah. I'd love one ha ha. But I know it won't happen until I'm retired I'm sure. Then who knows.

Jackson finished his swimming lessons, passing with flying colours, and moving on to level 3 starting mid-September. It will be interesting to have lessons once a week. But at the end of level 2 there were doing almost all the swimming required for level 3 so I am thinking he will pass. We shall see I guess! There are 13 lessons, it will be every Sunday morning. I am hoping he'll go for a haircut before lessons get too far so his hair is easier to deal with after the lessons, coming home with wet hair in cold weather is not a good idea.  I am so proud of him for being able to swim so well already though. A month ago he couldn't swim at all. Now he can do 10+ meters on his front, and at least that on his back and side as well! Crazy.

He also learned to ride his big boy bike with no training wheels. That was fun. Not really. His bike broke basically, the chain fell off, his training wheels fell off. I bought him a new one, the old one was bought used for $20. Any way. The new one, I couldn't get the training wheels on so I told him he'd better figure it out. We went out and he did it. For a few meters any way, then he got wobbly and wouldn't try any more. I kind of fixed the older bike and he took that for the last bike day, but the training wheels really broke, didn't just fall off but fell apart. Tonight I took them off and off he went. He can ride! Then the bike broke, the wheel got all stuck and weird, so tomorrow I put the bell on the newer bike, and he'll be riding that from now on. Phew. What an adventure. He should have been able to do it before but he is quite cautious.

I really want to plan another trip. But I can't. With Zika, and buying a house, we just can't afford it, and I can't afford to get that virus if I do manage to get going on baby 2. Which I keep wondering about. I think I am worried it won't be possible and am bracing myself for that. I also worry it will take forever, and I will waste money on trying. I wonder if I will have to take time to get my thyroid working properly, and hopefully lose weight with that, and then there is testing, blood work, who knows what else. And of course I'm 41 already. Why oh why did I wait. Well I know why. I knew I wanted another baby when Jackson was under 1, but of course knew I had to wait and "pay back" at work so was waiting for that. Then it just seemed expensive. Then I had my gallbladder issues and before you know it I was turning 40 and thought that was it, impossible after that. I thought I was ok with it, that I could let it go. But I can't really. Not without at least trying, or finding out if I am too old, and my eggs are all gone.