Friday, January 24, 2014

What a week

Work is still going well. I like the new position a lot more than my last one. The boss is easy to deal with, straight forward and appreciative of the work I do. The other people on the team are nice. The work itself I find doable, a little slow right now but I expect that it will pick up soon. The other team member who is working directly with me is on vacation for just over a week, then shortly after that she is moving to a new area. She's been doing this work for 2 years so felt it was time to move on. In any case, I'll be busier and happy for it.

I have been following my eating plan, it has been hard to turn down things, like french fries and potatoes, chocolate, all of that. But I am doing it, so I'm happy. I am taking so many supplements sometimes it feels like I take more pills than food!  But they are all for different things and some are short term. So I'll keep it up I guess. I am taking quite the handful of pills and there is one more I want to add. I take a multi vitamin and folic acid, which will be changing to a prenatal when the multi is used up. I take vitamin D because it's winter, and omega 3 (fish oil)  with my coQ10 since they are supposed to work better together. I finally found some ubiquinol and will switch to that once I'm done the first bottle. I also added in vitamin B6 and l-arginine, both of which are supposed to help egg quality and also with morning sickness and possibly pre-eclampsia which I had last time. The one I am debating on is inositol, also supposed to help with egg quality.  Then of course there is royal jelly, which is a little expensive, but perhaps might be a good addition.  I am also trying to eat well of course, but everything that can help at this point is something to try! I haven't even gotten an appointment yet!

I have lost 7 pounds so far, which is a good start, but I still have a long way to go.  I am finding at times I have a lot more energy, and other times I have none. It is kind of strange. Right now, I wish it was bed time! But it's not even close. Other than yoga I'm not doing much energy just now, I am mainly focused on de-stressing. I will work on exercise when I am down a few more pounds and after I feel like my stress levels are more manageable.

Jackson is being himself, he is a lot of fun but also a handful at times. Tonight for example he wanted hot dogs for lunch, I made them, and then he decided he wanted a tuna melt instead! No I only make you one dinner kid. So now he's complaining he's hungry because he didn't eat his dinner. He wants popcorn. I'm tired, and don't feel like dealing with this melt down. Seven is bedtime but I know he won't go to sleep right away. It will be 8 or later before he finally falls asleep. Some times I'm tempted to start bedtime even earlier to see if it gets easier. Who knows.

I am hoping to plan a trip to Florida for November, depending on how things go with my attempts, my work contract (it's in negotiations which would mean a substantial amount of back pay for me) and with how I feel about it all. It would be nice, but at 4 it may be too early to take him. I'll know by May if we'll be going or not. It does sound exciting though, and I imagine it would be a lot of fun.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Toys toys toys

Jackson has a lot of toys. Pretty much everything he's ever really asked for, he gets. I know, not the best plan! So we've changed it now. He gets an allowance now, if he earns it. He has two chores to do. Everyday he has to make his bed and tidy his toys at the end of it. He then earns 50 cents, and if he does all 7 days he earns a bonus 50 cents, for a grand total of $4. Since he's 4 it makes sense to me. He also has some money from birthday and Christmas gifts.  Today we went to Walmart, first time in the new year. Normally this would be a big fight over toys. This time I told him in advance he would have to pay for any toys he wanted to get himself. He decided to bring $10, I told him that he might want to bring some money for the tax too, so we put it in my pocket (he didn't have any today).  At the store we went up and down a few aisle's in search of the perfect toy. Finally he settled on two sets of emergency vehicles. They were $5 each so he had exactly the right amount. And happiness was had, fun times playing with the new toys.

I am hoping it will help teach him some more about money. As well as about earning money. He doesn't have to buy his food, clothes or anything, just any new toys. He'll still get gifts at certain holidays, but he has more than enough toys for one (or two!) little boy. I am also trying to limit my own purchases, buying groceries is obviously needed but I don't need anything else myself. So I'm also cut off. For now at least.

Bed time is still a struggle for me. My son doesn't like to sleep. He claims when he is an adult he will stay up all night and never sleep. I laugh because I am an adult and I'd love to get more sleep :-) But of course he does eventually sleep. He likes to come downstairs at least once to snuggle on the couch while I watch something on TV. This has meant I can't start watching my normal shows until he's well asleep just in case he comes back downstairs. Bones can get a little graphic, as well as all the other shows I watch. I normally only have time to watch one I've pvr'd now. So it takes me a long time to get caught up on a week's worth of shows.  But it means I get to bed around 9 or 9:30 which is much easier to get up at 5. I have been trying to focus on me, on my own reactions and controlling them, in order to give him what he needs. I am still working on my own reactions, but it has only been a few weeks that I've even really been trying to focus on that, so I think I'm doing ok, always getting better.

I have so far lost 6 pounds, not too bad but a long way to go!  I think I've finally found my "groove" with a diet or way of eating though. It's hard, I came close to having some of his popcorn tonight, it was there, so easy to grab a bit. Just a habit to break I guess. I had some fabulous homemade kale chips instead. I am still taking all my supplements, started CoQ10 this week as well. I was going to wait on that but figured it wouldn't hurt to start sooner. I also added in vitamin D, I get winter blues, so I'm hoping it will help. Though what would really help is spring ;-)

Here I am on Saturday night, around 9pm and I would like to go to bed!  There is a movie on at 9 I want to see, but I'm taping it. The problem is finding 2 hours to watch. Sleep is such a priority for me lately. I am hoping as I lose weight and learn what I should eat to feel better, I will gain more energy. Jackson has two birthday parties to attend coming up. I am considering using a Kids Night Out as well. It's Friday nights from 6 to 9 pm for $15 which is less than I'd pay for a babysitter. I could drop him off, see a movie perhaps? Do something any way, and he'd run and play and watch a movie as well. The only restriction is the kids have to be potty trained. It's very tempting.

Sunday, January 12, 2014


I am exhausted. The weather was not so nice yesterday, freezing rain and super slippery, so we stayed in. Today we went out to get groceries. We bought a lot of healthy stuff, fruits, veggies, meat, very little else but some pea soup he's been insisting he wants for lunch (they used to have it at daycare so I bought some, if he actually eats it I will make some, it can't be that hard!).  In the hours we've been awake, my little boy has talked, no-stop.  It is exhausting to listen to!  I am an introvert, I like quiet and solitude. I love my kid, love being with him, but oh my, there are moments when I wish he would fall asleep or just learn to read a book himself, or something!

He isn't shy either, he talks to everyone. We ordered a pizza last night (yeah I know, so not on the diet!) and he told the delivery guy all about getting his hair cut. Seriously the guy just wanted to get paid and get out! Then today at the check out line, he told the cashier that we were buying only healthy things, so no candy. And that mommy likes things like onions and salad but he doesn't. He likes kiwis though, and strawberries. And he's going to have a smoothie when he gets home. And on and on.  The check out girl was a good sport, I find some of them are, they all get this little amused smile as he chatters on.  He does this quite often when we shop, he will also talk to other shoppers, or comment on their carts, the lady behind us in line had a colourful cart. Turns out she was also the mom of another daycare kid so he felt justified in talking to her.  He really is a character.

I am glad he has a big vocabulary, that he can express himself and that he has no apparent issues with his speech. But man, sometimes I long for silence!  Even right now, normally I'd have the TV on but I've turned it off, I'll go to bed soon but I just wanted to hear no talking for a little bit.  Silence.  Ah.

We have had a good week with back to work and school. I think I am going to enjoy my new job, so far it seems to be something I can do and will be good at once I get access to everything and am able to read over the files I'll be in charge of. There was some aggression from him at bedtime, so we've moved it up earlier. It takes an hour to get him into bed and asleep, without a bath. It involves a lot of talking and "one more snuggle". He sneaks back down stairs at least once to watch something of mine while we snuggle on the couch. This has caused me to be sure and have the TV on HGTV instead of Grimm or Lost Girl.  And yesterday I cut his hair. I need to find some ear plugs for kids for next time so he'll let me use the clippers again because they are "too loud" and he cries when I use them, but they are so much faster and easier than using the scissors!  He has a little buzz cut now.

I'm still doing my supplements, and trying to stick to my eating. Obviously I make some mistakes, but in general I think I'm good 80% of the time. It was hard last week because I had a cold as well, new job, cold, yuck. I was in bed early, and up early, but no exercise really. I will get the yoga going again tomorrow as the cold has gone and I have more energy. I have some CoQ10 on the way, it was supposed to arrive Friday but with the bad weather got delayed. Oh well. I ordered some more magnesium as well, because it does seem to be helping with my sleep, so I'll keep up that habit.  And I don't want to run out before the new stuff arrives. Also some vitamin D as I realized the stuff I was using actually expired over a year ago. I take it in winter as I tend to get SAD and it helps, obviously fresher stuff will help more. I think the only thing I haven't really gotten to try is royal jelly, and I'm not planning to as it is quite expensive. The CoQ isn't cheap of course, but it was on sale and I have enough for 2 1/2 months.

Eating healthy does seem to cost more than our "normal" diet. We'll manage of course and it will balance out a bit, the oranges I bought will last a couple weeks, I bought two kinds of meat on sale, to put some away for another week. So it will be ok I think.  I am of course a sale shopper and coupon user as well.

Now I think I'll head to bed. According to my chart I ovulated at day 16, and it is now day 26. Past few cycles 26 days was how long my cycle was. And I have been irritated today, so that is one PMS sign I'll be starting tomorrow. But my chart predicts a 14 day LP of course, I think it's wrong though. Interesting to watch and see. If my temp drops I'll know for sure. It wasn't down today. I am interested to see a few cycles with temps.  And then to figure out what it all means.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Book review: Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids

Right before the new year I ordered an SD card for my new tablet, because I ordered from amazon, I needed $25 to get free shipping. So I also ordered a book I've had on my wishlist for a little while. It's called Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids by Dr Laura Markham. She also has a website,, which also has a daily or weekly newsletter.  I got the book really quick, it came on Monday which is crazy since I ordered it on Sunday. But any way. I love the book. It totally speaks to the way I think I should parent, but of course haven't been because of what I've been told or what "everyone else" thinks I should do.  I will admit it, I am a yeller. I lose my crap all the time, just get to the point I can't take any more and yell.  I always feel horrible afterwards, and of course Jackson feels horrible too. So I have known I shouldn't be doing it, and have been trying to be better, to manage my own temper better. I've read other books, like 1,2,3 Magic, and Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline. Both of which are good books, and the second I think has a similar philosophy to it as this one.  The difference is this amazing book gives me hope.  It doesn't have a 6 week plan for change or anything like that. It does give reasons for why, and talks about setting limits, as well as how to do certain things. I really love the book.  I also love the newsletter. I love getting hints and tips, and encouragement, daily.

The book is really about loving our kids, and how to show them that love. It talks about getting down to kid level to talk to them, about rough housing, having tickle fights, and how to be there even when they are melting down. How to show them love and connection even when they are trying your patience. I think my biggest issue will be myself, and I will have to keep reminding myself that it's not about me. I may be angry but I need to get myself past that to deal with whatever is happening, to manage my own emotions. Honestly, the first step of Regulating Yourself, will be the hardest for me. I think the Fostering Connection and even Coaching, Not Controlling, will be much easier for me. I am hoping that the yoga I started this week will be helpful (though right now all it does it show me how unflexible I am!). Taking that time for myself, to take care of me, will help, I hope! I know I will also have to remember to put the computer, phone, tablet and TV away, turn them off, and really focus on connecting with Jackson, playing his silly games, and doing what he wants.  I do that now of course, but sometimes it feels as an after thought, rather than the focus of the day.

I know I have made some mistakes along the way, and I now know that I can get back on track. I also know that all of these ideas will be helpful when I have a second baby, it gives ideas for dealing with two kids, and I think having read it, I will be able to really do what my instincts tell me. I remember when Jackson was a baby, he was not a good sleeper, and everyone would tell me to just let him cry, but that never felt right. So I fought myself, felt bad because I was going to him every time, but felt like I shouldn't be. I won't have to fight myself again.

All in all, this book has some great ideas, hints and tips, and explanations for what to do and how to do it. I love that it gives the science behind things, gives examples that explain and show why this works. I know that it won't be easy to change, and it will take some time for me to stop being a yeller, but I also love that it gives ideas and hints for how to do that. I think it really validates what I knew, but what I didn't think was ok to do. I highly recommend it to any parent, especially those looking to connect with their kids and enjoy peaceful and happy moments.