Monday, February 7, 2011

Happy Birthday to Me

Today is my birthday.  And it's been a good day!  Four years ago on my birthday I had a miscarriage, the ones after that were not so good.  And then I had a baby.  Now I look forward to the big day.  It's funny how things can change in a moment.  My birthday went from being a horrible day to one that reminds me of everything I love, and how happy I am.  I have gone through a lot to get my little family, and look forward to adding to it.  My birthday is a reminder that time is ticking along, and I should be doing more to manifest the rest of what I want. 

I believe in the power of thought, that dreams and desires can manifest and become real.  I believe that you need to know what you want, in detail, and picture it to get it.  What I want is a happy family, to me a family has 3 kids.  Considering my current age the next two are not so likely to happen, one I should be able to manage.  I don't believe that things will necessarily just happen, I do think that people have to do something to help things along, you need to act to make things happen.

Which is why I have a plan, a plan to save money to afford to have another baby (or two lol), and a plan to buy a house.  A plan to take my family to Disney at some point, and a plan to retire at 55 and be able to enjoy life.  None of it will be easy, on the contrary I have to stick to a strict budget, and forgo things I might like, but my son will not suffer for it, and we will end up happier than ever because of it all. 

Today is my birthday, I am 36.  My life the past year or so has been wonderful.  I may be tired, I may lack sleep, I may be broke a lot.  But I am happy.  I love my life, being a mommy, having a decent roof over my head, a good enough car.  I may not own my own home, or have a brand new car, I may not wear the nicest clothes, or eat fancy foods.  But I am happy. 

I love that I am a single mom, that it's just me and my son.  I look forward to adding another child to our family.  People probably would find it strange that I have no desire to add a father/husband to the picture.  I know it's not traditional or typical, but it works.  I have always done well on my own, being alone but not lonely.  This is no different.  Today I took my son shopping with me, he was content to sit in his stroller looking around and playing with a toy.  He fell asleep in the car on the way home and I carried him in to bed.  Sure it would have been easier if I could have left him with someone to go shopping on my own, but with him along I am also more likely to stick to budget, he's a reminder of what I want. 

Today is my birthday, and I am happy. 

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