New Year's Resolutions

It's that time again, the start of a new year, time to make changes and fix things, suddenly be better.  It never really lasts.  Last year I lost weight, and gained it back.  I enjoyed my son, but fight with him every night at bedtime.  I did better with money but somehow still feel like I have none.  For 2013 I have a simple goal.  To have better habits.  This will of course be much harder than it might sound.  It will mean a lot of changes, but I also know it will take time, new habits take time to form. 

For instance, the only time I can really get a workout in is if I get up early enough to do it.  But getting up early doesn't seem to ever happen, so I will have to go to bed earlier, and get up earlier.  And for a week or so that is likely all I'll be able to do, simply get my butt out of bed in time to do a workout, whether I actually get one in is debatable for now.  It will happen though, once I am used to getting up, I can do the workouts.  They will be short, 20 minutes or so, at least to start with.  I can do that much. 

Eating better, that will require planning, and ties in with both meal planning and shopping the sales. I don't want to waste money buying stuff and not eating it, nor do I want to pay full price for things.  So on Wednesday when I get my flyers I will have to go through them and plan the meals as well as the shopping, so we can get everything done on Saturday.  I would like to get organic produce delivered as well, that would come on Wednesday as well, so I'd have the veggies I need for the week, and just need to get the proteins and snacky stuff.  It would set the menu, or at least part of it.  Also a good thing I think.

Getting chores done on Saturday would leave Sunday for me to spend with the boy, playing, getting out, doing things and having fun.  I need to enjoy my son more, I feel like I spend too much time saying "no, don't do that, get off there, don't throw that" adding in now "don't sit on the kitten".  I want us to get along better.  I know a lot of it is me, and I need to change my habits when it comes to spending time with him, we spend a lot of it not doing a whole lot.  I need to change that.  He is a good kid, but like the dog, he needs more stimulation.  A class or something, now that he is 3 and big boy. 

Money wise, the planning of meals, and only shopping Saturday, should help. As well as using coupons and my stockpile of course.  I need to save money if I am going to be able to move like I want to.  So I need to plan and stick to the plan. Even the organic produce will help with the planning, since I will be spending the same every week or two weeks, and getting all the veggies we need, healthy and all that.  Once we move I will be able to get a bigger freezer so I can really stockpile and cook in advance, perhaps once a month or every two weeks.  As long as I stick to my budget everything will be great, and I will enjoy the raise that comes with my promotion.  Hopefully we get raises negotiated soon, as well as a payout which will go into my RRSP for my home buying. 

Finally, I need to sort all of this out in order to see if I can actually handle a second child.  I have been unwell a lot this year, my stomach is not good, I may have an ulcer or something, perhaps it's my gallbladder, who knows.  But the healthier eating and exercise should help.  Also with the migraines.  And I need to figure out if I can handle a second child, my temper is not the best lately, I lose it over little things.  I know sleep and not being active, not eating well, is all tying in to my unhealthiness.  Which makes me unable to handle one little boy who is too smart, and too active, and doesn't ever want to actually do what I ask him to.  If I can't manage one child, how would I manage him while pregnant, or while dealing with no sleep and a baby?  Or even a second one just like him. 

My plan for the new year is simple, to get into better habits, to change the ruts I'm stuck in and strike a different balance.  I may even say no TV or computer Sundays, at least while Jackson is awake.  Things need to change, and now is a good time to change them. 

The day before the holidays

Today was a rough day for us.  Jackson was not listening and it bothered me more than it normally does. We had a few "fights" and I lost my temper a couple times.  I am having a difficult time with my little boy.  He is very stubborn and refuses to listen to me.  Then I lose my temper and yell.  I know I need to be better than he is, I just don't know how to get him to do as I ask him.  From getting out the door, to getting back in the door, to not trying to pick up the new kitten by his tail.  I am simply at a loss.  He is stubborn and has a temper himself.  It is making life interesting.  And the potty training.  Oh my.  He does great at daycare, at home we have accidents every 5 minutes it seems, get him cleaned up and he pees again.  The poop thing is certainly not happening.  And I'm tired of it.  So today he wore a diaper all day because I was not going to deal with it any more. 

I hoped that having time off with him this week would be great, that we would have a lot of fun, get the potty training sorted out.  But now I'm not so sure.  Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and my parent's are coming to visit. The house is a disaster, I was supposed to work on it this weekend but just haven't, I'm too exhausted from dealing with this child.  I don't know what to do.  It is certainly clouding my thoughts of having a second baby.  So I got a kitten.

My poor Mea passed away on December 5th.  She took a bad turn and was unable to really walk so I took her in and said goodbye.  It was difficult, and I'm not sure at all that Jackson gets it.  We got a kitten last weekend, he is adorable and loves Jackson.  The kitten's name is Joshua, Jackson named him, and he is an Abyssinian/Siamese mix. He is super playful, friendly and cuddly.  Exactly what I wanted.  Perfect for our family, and getting along with my other pets.  Now if I could convince Jackson to not try to carry him around by various body parts, we'd be all set. 

Money wise, things are going fairly well. I am spending more than I'd like to be, but within budget.  I am hoping to pick up a bed frame for Jackson's bed this week, and get a headboard and night table for him this week as well.  Hopefully all for $200 or so.   I'd like to get his bedroom sorted out, I'll need to take the change table out and move things around a bit but it should be good.  I was going to wait until we move but if I can get a good deal now then I might as well.  The only thing I'll need then when we move is a bigger freezer, and possibly a treadmill.

I hired a dog walker, he comes 3 days a week to walk the dog.  It is money I should not spend but in winter we are not getting poor Riley out for any exercise and it's making everyone crazy.  So this should help.  And once I'm used to spending the money, it should mean I can afford a maid once I move.  Though my rent will likely go up.  And I will still need to find a place.  But so far things are on track, and a bigger, nicer house should be in our future.  If only I could declutter the house, I may need to hire someone for that too!  Or convince some friends to come over and help.

And I do still love being a mom, I really do.  My son is driving me batty and today was a long difficult day, but in general he is a good boy.  I just wish he'd pay attention to me and listen. I wonder if I didn't talk for a day if he'd even notice, I really don't think he listens to me at all.