Saturday, March 28, 2020

Social Isolation in Crazy Time

Times are crazy. This virus is changing the way we live in so many ways. Not only is school closed but kids aren't supposed to be out playing with friends. Plus I am working from home, my job is critical so I'm expected to work. It is also proving challenging to do that and make sure Jackson is ok through all this.

The homeschooling did not go well, it started out great but he is stubborn and now would rather just play xbox all day. I am working, it's busy as I am supporting phone lines which are answering a lot more calls with a lot fewer people available. It's a struggle to balance everything. And the government hasn't announced when schools will actually go back. If it's a few weeks then ok fine, lets get through this, but if they aren't going back until September, then he needs to get over it and start doing more than xbox all the time. He has reconnected online with a boy he played with two summers ago, the other kid is quite nice and seems to be good with Jackson, which is nice. But Jackson can be needy and so can get upset when he's not the focus of the other kids time online. It can be a struggle. I have been having a lot of conference calls so he often has to be quiet. And I also have been trying to take video workout breaks during the day, even 10 minutes of a walking workout makes me feel better. I am looking forward to finding out about school so I can put plans in place. Add in plans for summer camps, and it is a difficult time for sure.

I have had to spend some money I wasn't supposed to, on groceries. Because everything is so scary, I only want to go to the stores once a week or less, so I am not shopping flyers and looking for the sales, or at least I am having to spend full price on some things which is causing me to spend more of my budget than I expected. This will impact summer camps, I am not sure I will be able to afford all the weeks I had originally planned for. He may end up in some more generic ones than the special camps. This if the camps even open up this summer! Who knows.

Given a 3 to 4 month time frame for this to go through the worst, that puts it at end of June before things normalize. I am glad that Canada seems to be doing better at planking the curve than perhaps some other countries. I think it helps we are so large in geography, and smaller in population. I am worried about my planned December cruise, not because I am scared to cruise, I have no issues getting on a cruise ship in the future, I am more worried about the place it cruises from, getting there and staying there beforehand. I have promised, if something happens and we can't cruise, we will go away to an all inclusive as soon as we can.

It is very strange when I take the dog for walks, everyone is good about staying on their side of the sidewalk, there are few people out and about walking, biking, etc. And even on the roads, there are few cars driving around. I have been to the stores twice, the experience is so different. Put your groceries up, step back, they ring them up, they step back, you step up and pay, then when they step back again you bag them up. I find it frustrating that so many things are out of stock, and I can't shop sales like I normally would. I am lucky I still get a pay cheque, but it is not going to last as much as it once did with prices higher. It is also hard being home, kiddo is not eating his usual school snacks and only wants the special things like chips and candy, he won't eat cookies. It is weird, and frustrating. Tonight I have a chicken in the oven, I'll have mashed potatoes, he'll have rice.

I have been trying to stick to weight watchers, but it is hard! Fresh veggies are hard to come by, and even frozen ones are few in stock. Add in the anxiety, stress from working at home, worry about how Jackson is coping, and I have been overeating. I intend to do better going forward, spend April really keeping on plan and adding in movement breaks to my day. I will do what I can, and hopefully by May we'll be able to get out of the house more, and perhaps back to normal.

I think the unique thing for being an SMC in this time, I am the only parent, the only option. If I get sick, god forbid I end up in hospital, what will happen to Jackson? I have family but I also don't want to risk them and if I am sick, he would be too. I have one amazing niece who has said she'd help out any way she can which is so generous of her. My parents are older and I can't risk them getting sick. Hopefully I won't get it any way, but every time I cough or sneeze, or think my nose is stuffy, I worry. Now I do have seasonal allergies, so I've been dealing with that as the snow melts and that yucky mold comes out. I managed to find some claritin and it is helping but I still feel the post nasal drip. I worry about me getting sick, and him not able to take care of himself at all. He refuses to learn things, like even making a waffle for breakfast, he'd rather just have me do it.

I do still have regrets that he's an only child. I wish I had my 3 kids that I dreamt of, but I also know it would be super hard right now if I did. Even going to the store, he is able to stay home for an hour if I need to do that, younger kids, not so much. Cost wise, one is much better on the budget. But oh I wish I had another. Maybe, we'll see what happens I guess. I guess if I end up having to cancel the trip, perhaps I can save up and try next year? I'd be 46. Man. That feels so old. Yet sometimes I still think I must be in my 20's. But then we wouldn't be able to move at all. Though I think that may wait any way. Who knows, maybe this will be good for house prices? For me any way, not for sellers I guess.

Since we are home, I want to get the upstairs room cleaned up. I have a lot of stuff in it that needs to get out of the house. I had planned to donate but I guess that's not a good idea right now, so I am considering some of it just getting out. Next week is cardboard week, then the following is garbage week. Maybe next weekend I can some stuff ready to go. It's doable, just need to do.

Easter will be interesting too, we normally do dinner with family, but obviously we won't be able to do that now. I'm not sure how to handle the Easter bunny either, I had planned to start getting candy and eggs ready soon but haven't been able to do that yet. Perhaps next week I will find some good sale and try and get some stuff. Just not sure what I will be able to get as he is not a big chocolate kid. I am leery of heading to Walmart but know that would be the best place to get what I want. I will wait and see I guess. I have some time. Not much but a little bit.

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