Last Day of Grade 5

Technically, school ends today. Though I think he's supposed to do work tomorrow. Considering he hasn't done anything since March, I don't think that matters. I am glad it's over though, I let it go but at least now I can officially say it's done. What the fall will bring, remains to be seen. The province has set out guidelines and we should find out in August what option our school board will choose. They are also (finally) updating the math curriculum and bringing it back to basics, this makes me so happy. I am hoping to get him to do something over the summer, but he is not me, and it isn't really likely to happen. I will keep trying though. Perhaps I can figure out the right bribe. 

But this also does mean that perhaps more friends will be available to play. He has one friend who is allowed to play, I hope they can spend more time together over the summer as well. I only have a few days off each month, I am choosing to save my vacation days for when this is all over and I can go away somewhere. Plus there really isn't a lot to do this summer, so much is not open or with a lot of restrictions. It's possible Jackson will spend a few days at my parent's at some point. 

I've been doing a lot of workouts, a lot. Walking, low impact workouts, and some new stuff. Also trying to eat healthy. It's really hard because I don't see a lot of results. I know, I am older, and my thyroid is a bit low. It's just a lot of work for little reward. I joined a group of ladies and we do a week day competition to get the most steps. Apparently I am competitive, last week I won through a lot of effort. This week is going better, so far. Next week will be hard because I have three days off, and I workout more when I work during the day. It will be hard but I will try. 

Puppy finally got his haircut, he was getting pretty hot with the heat wave we had, of course as soon as he's clipped, the temperature drops. Though that does mean both kiddo and I can go out a bit more. He doesn't overheat, and I am able to get a lot of walking in. I do hope it gets warm again, but perhaps not quite as hot as it was. At least not until the pools open again! 

Somedays I am thankful it's just the two of us, during this covid crap, it's probably easier to not have a very small kid. I will say, if I had it to do over, I would have gone for it. I wish I had. It is too late, I am 45, he's 10, and I don't have the money to do anything with donor eggs that would be needed. Plus all the travel restrictions, and I just have to give up. I don't think I have the energy or the patience. He is a lot. So much. I keep hoping things will improve, and yet they don't. It's hard, I can't understand it and I am not sure how to even handle him. I love him, he has so much potential, I do feel I made mistakes, and am not sure how to fix any of them. I wish we had a better relationship, and I really do blame the electronics so much. They damage people, and he's been on them for too much. I hope we get through this and come out with a better future. I would say though, don't wait. If you want kids, don't wait. Don't wait for it to be good timing or the perfect time or whatever. Find a way. 

Tick Tock Time

Only a couple official weeks of school, even though kiddo has not done any work since this started, he will be far behind next fall. There isn't really much I can do about it at this point. I hope he will agree to do something before school restarts but I'm not holding my breath. My dad bought him a laptop. I am not sure why, but at least he isn't using mine any more. He has it up in his room, we'll have to see how well this goes. He has a tendency to break electronics. The camera on his cellphone is cracked. I could replace the phone, I did buy a plan with it so it can be replaced twice a year, but the phone itself still works, so I'm reluctant to do so. I'm kind of waiting for something bigger to go wrong.

Ontario has moved to phase 2, and so we can expand our circle to up to 10 people, so we can officially visit my parents. We're going next weekend for Father's Day. Not sure if my sister will be there as well, I suspect she will. It will be nice to see people again. We can go for haircuts and such, but I did my own so I'll leave it at that for now. I can wait at this point. Pools aren't open... yet, but they can be so hopefully the city will get a plan out there so we can go swimming again! I know it is something Jackson really enjoys. I am hoping the water park will open this summer, but am reluctant to get a season pass, so we'll have to hope it will be easy enough to be able to go. We enjoyed it last summer, and the two at Disney as well. He does love his water slides. 

I've been doing a lot of walking, jogging and other exercise. Trying to eat better, but still haven't really lost much weight. Oh well. I am feeling better, healthier, more energy. I get up and workout before work, and also do a walk in the morning, then again either after work or after dinner, depends on how tired I am. Since I am still only getting 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night, and I really do need more. But I don't like going to bed right when kiddo does, I like a bit of me time after he's in bed. Now that he is on his computer in his room though, perhaps I will get enough time alone and be able to go to bed at a decent time. We'll see!

Time is a strange beast now, we've been off school for so long, working from home and isolated so long. It will be 6 months from his last day until back to school. It's all a bit crazy. The world sure changed fast. Which is good, but also feels a bit artificial, like any moment I will wake up and this will all be over. It feels like the world is still turning but holding it's breath on what will come next. I watch what's happening in other countries and have to admit, I have some worry. 

We have two weeks of cruises booked for December. I am hopeful we can go on them, but also worry that perhaps I shouldn't do it. Not entirely because of COVID. I am considering instead going to an all inclusive, perhaps in January or February. It will depend on if we have to isolate for two weeks when we return, in which case December would be better since we'll probably have two weeks off at Christmas. Though if I can work from home, it wouldn't matter too much for me, just for him missing school. I will continue to watch and see what happens with flights and everything else. I am determined to cruise again though. The all inclusive would have to have water slides, and a beach. I worry he would be bored, but I would be fine with a book (or ebook) and a beach. I am sure we'd manage any way. 

I have a bunch of alarms set, to remind me which days I have to work, which days I have to get up early, when I need to make sure and start dinner. Days, weeks, months are all blurring together. We are comfortable enough here, and the weather seems to be nice enough. I am focusing on the exercise and trying to eat better. I am hoping that in 3 months when I go back to work everyone will be surprised. Even though I know no one will really notice. I am trying to do this, I want to be fit and healthy, I want to be thinner and be able to wear pretty clothes. To feel comfortable. I will get there.