Vaccine one done

 On Sunday the province announced that they were lowering the age to 40+ on the astrazeneca vaccine available in pharmacies. I was super excited to hear this and signed up for all the places and wait lists. Yesterday I got an email from one of the pharmacies that they have "walk in" places so I called to see if they had any available, they made me an appointment for today and I got the shot at 12:45. I am so happy. There is a 16 week wait for shot two but I don't care, just relieved. It was interesting to see so many other people there excited to be getting vaccinated. Interesting too, as soon as they lowered the age, the appointments booked up fast. I think many people in the 55+ were waiting for a "better" shot which honestly irritates me, even if it led to me getting mine sooner. 

Now who knows how long it will be for Jackson to get his. If he was already 12 I'd be less worried about that. I do hope it happens this year. It will impact our plans for December. I am hoping we can cruise but if not, we'll spend two weeks in Orlando and do Disney/Universal or something. Easy. We will travel!!

I hope I don't have a bad reaction to the vaccine, I already feel a bit tired, had a nap after work, and my head/jaw hurts but that happens to me a lot since I grind my teeth and clench my jaw all the time. I will try and wait it out, see what happens. I am ready to take the day off tomorrow if I have to, I have sick leave I can use. I do have a grocery order to pick up, which I can cancel now but would like to get. I am sure I'll be able to manage it any way, just have to drive there, they load the stuff in the trunk and I drive home, put everything away (that's the hard part lol). But I've managed more when sicker so I'm sure I can manage this. I guess that's when being a single mom and having to do it all pays off, I'm used to managing things no matter how I feel. 

On the move front, while I decided to move, I changed my mind and we'll be here for a little while still. I am going to use the time to really declutter and clean up (for reals this time). I want to be in a position that if we decide to move, we can do it quickly. I have some other financial goals, buying a house is not one of them though. I am still thinking of moving to a smaller town outside the city, but we'll see what happens with work from home, and Jackson's school in the fall. 

I am so happy to be vaccinated once, and cannot wait for number 2. Phew! 

To move or Not to move

 I was browsing the local sites and saw that the townhomes we have wanted to move to for ages have both gone up a bit in price and almost all been rented. I also noticed that the smaller places, with no garage or storage, are also almost all taken. In a panic I asked to see them, and ended up applying to rent one of the townhomes. It is really nice with great finishes, brand new, no yard maintenance, smaller driveway I'll have to shovel, and a good size for us. But expensive. Now I am in panic mode the other way, thinking I shouldn't have done it and we should just stay here. I cannot make a decision. I've made lists of pros and cons, they are about equal either way. The difference is money (which leads to trips, eating out, etc) versus quality and "niceness". Which is more important. Surely the money makes the most sense. I know I will never buy a home, it really isn't on my radar as an option unless I win the lottery, dealing with maintenance and all of that is of no interest to me. It's a heart vs head question at this point. What my heart wants is the new place, but my head says to stay here and deal with all the issues. I have tomorrow to decide, and the decision has to be made before end of work day. 

Covid restrictions are not helping matters, they add to my stress if we do move. The current landlord will want to show the place, and I'm not sure how comfortable I am with other people coming in to see it. Plus movers, because I am not moving things myself. How does that work? I assume they have to mask and distance, but what does that mean for me being here while it's happening? Do I just wait at the new place for them to arrive with everything? Sit in my car and wait for them to finish loading everything in the truck? I'd take the dog and child to my parents. Hopefully that will be allowed by then. Since we are in full lock down until May 20th, so I can't even donate stuff now. 

We have been here 8 years, which is a long time for me. Jackson was 3 when we moved in, so we have toys and stuff from that age right up to now. Including a bit of broken electronics you can't just put in the trash. I have to go through all of it. Should be working on that now. It's overwhelming a bit. I did clean up the upstairs, 75% of it any way, and it's "ready to pack". The only things left in those spaces just need to be put in boxes, which I already have. But we have 6 weeks so we need to use some of that stuff still. I will get more done today, I need to get the garbage collected from a few areas, including stuff hidden at the back of the freezer that is no good any more. Garbage can only go out every 2 weeks, which means 3 times until we move. And I don't want food garbage sitting around getting stinky for weeks at a time. 

But if we stay, I can take my time with all of that. It still needs to be done, decluttering, cleaning, but not within 6 weeks. I wish I had more time. Ideally I wouldn't be going until August, or September. Give me a few more months to get things really organized, and save a bit more. Replace some furniture. But the clock is ticking and time is up. So it's now or never. I don't want it to be never. Even if it means we can't order in 3 times a week or travel once or twice a year, if we have to limit that to ordering in once a week and travelling every two years. It's possible. I know some of my angst is because of how well my son pushes my buttons. When he wants something and has already spent his allowance he will call me poor and stupid. And it hurts. Because we are not poor, though we don't have a lot of savings, we live a comfortable life, and he doesn't see that because he always gets what he wants. And it is hard to say no and stay strong in the constant badgering and bargaining, and just general belligerence. And so I second guess every decision I have made, and my choices. Obviously I have work to do on myself. And I will talk to my therapist tomorrow about it, I am so thankful I have her now. 

And now for Another Stay At Home Order

 Things are not good. While we are trying to roll out the vaccines, it is so slow! They finally really shut things down in the province. It sucks because the weather was finally improving and Jackson was looking forward to playing basketball with friends. Now he just has me, for 4 weeks. Hopefully by the time it's over, things will be much improved and lots of people will be able to get vaccinated. I'm not on the list yet. My parents have their appointment for the end of the month. My BIL is eligible and I'm sure has an appointment. My sister is close I think? She's 51 (though she denies it) and we're at 60+ now... getting there! 

Today is my last day of my super long weekend. Easter was ok. Quiet of course. We didn't really do much. He found some candy eggs I hid around, but that's about it. I got us a switch, and the games aren't here yet so he's been super irritating about it. I hate being asked the same question a million times. 

I guess we'll be going to play basketball a lot. Since we can only play with each other. Hopefully he will do well and I won't have to chase the ball too far. It will be good to enjoy the nice weather, and be able to get him some exercise and burn some energy. I should have bought the net for the driveway. I keep debating that, do I get it and then we move and maybe not have room for it? Or do I not and we just keep going to the park. I don't know. If we move to the expensive places, the park is right there. Like you can almost see if from the balcony. But the expense is a lot if we move there. Plus, moving. It's a pain. 

I guess we'll see what we do during this lockdown. Won't be much I suppose. I will pick up groceries, we'll play switch games, go play basketball. I'll try and cook and not get deliveries all the time. I'll work, he'll learn. We'll yell at one another. I will talk to the psychologist and feel better for a little while. I'm tired of it all. And it's only beginning. I do hope the break allows a lot of vaccines to be given so we can have a more normal summer. I really hope the waterpark opens, and we can go to the beach. Heck, I will take more time off if we can do some fun things. I have lots banked. And even having a good summer doesn't mean we'll be able to cruise in December. 

Easter Lockdown

 The province moves back to lockdown at midnight. I am not really clear what changes except that things like hair dressers and in restaurant dining are closed. Since it is Easter weekend I guess they want people to avoid socializing, which we've been doing for over a year now most of the time. It's all getting a little frustrating, more for kiddo than me. I miss being able to see my whole family together, and a few friends, but in general, I'm good. Jackson though, he needs friends and outside play time. I hope he will be able to play with friends again soon, 28 days of lockdown.

My parents finally have appointments for vaccines! End of the month but I'm glad they are getting it done. My brother-in-law should be able to get his soon as well, in pharmacy. My sister will be next but not for a bit, then me, then my nieces. I worry for when Jackson will be able to get his, I know it won't be for awhile but I am hoping it's this year, and we don't have to wait for him to turn 12. I guess time will tell. I just want to be able to travel and get out again! 

I got some back pay from work and paid off a credit card, that felt really good. Though they held the payment because it was so much. I had to call and get it sorted but that's ok. Now I've spent a bit on some fun things, like a Switch, and a bunch of games for that. But not too bad. I mean I could use it all to go for donor eggs now I guess? But then I'd be back in a bunch of debt. And no guarantee it will work right away. Plus Europe is the best price, and it's off limits to travel right now. Maybe by the end of summer? Who knows. So many unknowns. 

I managed to get some candy to hide, was planning to go to pick up a bit more tomorrow but I'm not sure now. I don't want to go to stores if I can avoid it. We don't need anything more I don't think. As much as I would like more.

I purchased the part I think I need to fix Jackson's toilet. I've replaced most of the insides already, this is the last part and it's the hardest to do. You have to take the tank off the toilet, replace the part, and put it back together. If I screw it up, it will be totally broken. It looks easy enough on YouTube. I can do this. I've replaced all the other parts, this should be easy! I hope. 

Summertime is an unknown this year. I booked some holidays and look forward to the time off, but am not sure we'll be able to do much. If the vaccines don't start to make an impact soon I can't see anything happening until fall. We are so far behind other countries. Honestly, I'll be happy if we can go the beaches, if the water park opens, or we can go to Toronto for a few days. It's all up in the air. I'll fit in what we can on the time off, and hopefully he will find some friends to play with at the parks, or basketball, or something.