Sunday, March 5, 2017


This weekend was busy. Jackson had two birthday parties to attend yesterday, he had lots of fun at both! Turns out he is pretty good at bowling, and he loved the bouncy castle party. It was for a girl but he was one of 3 boys there so he stuck with them I think. He got injured, scrapped down his back, he's just so bony! He is fine but he was upset about it. He was also upset both parties had chocolate cake, and he won't eat that. Ah well. He still got to run around for a few hours and I got a few hours to myself!

The second party was way on the other side of town, a good 30 minute drive. So I stayed out there and went to the nearby mall. I have not gone shopping for myself (other than online) in ages... I went to one of my favourite stores and tried stuff on. I ended up with a pair of ankle pants and two jackets as well as a nice top. It cost way more than I would like to spend. But I think it is all good work clothes. And I am trying to dress better at work. My standard uniform of a simple top and pants needs a bit of an update. For two reasons. One is that I have not really gotten anything new and nice for myself in ages because I basically hate the way I look. I always want to lose weight, be thinner, be able to wear the prettier clothes. So I have bought things that fit, even though I hate the size they are.

The other reason is because I am feeling somewhat ambitious. I know the biggest hurdle for me is language and I am working on that. But my boss's boss sees something in me, and is entrusting me with projects and tasks that are exciting, and meaningful. It is nice to have someone with some authority trust me and see my potential. I am smart, I can do these things, I try to see all sides of a problem and I hate getting stuck in "because we've always done it that way" mentality that is so prevalent where I work. It is kind of weird. I actually want to do well! And because he believes in me, and that I should move up to management, I believe I can too. He has handed me a project that I can really sink my teeth into, and hopefully ensure it runs smoothly. I think sometimes I surprise him with comments, he will look at me like he's surprised anyone else thought of that. I like that he listens to me, even though I'm not anyone very important in the hierarchy.

While I have accepted that I am this size, and look this way, I also feel somewhat inspired to move more. I hope that it will actually happen. I want to be moving but I worry that I am so out of shape. I know once spring finally arrives I will need to get outside, especially since we are getting a puppy who will require walks. The difference is I want to do it not to lose weight, but to feel more energetic and be in better shape. We have a trip to Disney planned and I know there will be many days of 20k plus steps. I want to be able to do everything we want to do there. That's the goal.

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