Monday, December 24, 2018

Happy Holidays

It's that time of year. When kiddo and I are home together for two weeks. And we try to find fun things to do when it gets super cold and I don't want to leave the house. Tonight will be a struggle, there will be a child who cannot sleep, much crying and carrying on. Tomorrow will hopefully be good. Though the kiddo also changed his mind on what Santa should bring two days ago... so that's going to end well I'm sure. I also managed to over spend, again, as I do every year. So we have not much money to do anything with. But sledding is free, if the snow keeps up. And we have some board games wrapped under the tree, so those will fill some time. I do wish I could fly some place warm, but not this year.

Tonight we are going to my sister's for a pizza dinner. She is picking up my parents so they can spend the few days with us. Dad can't drive even that far yet. Hopefully he is on the mend and will improve. But for now they are coming to my sister's house today and will go home on Boxing Day. We will probably go visit for a day somewhere along the break. Tomorrow is Christmas Dinner at my sister's as well. Yup, she has a bigger house and plays host. Plus I am not such a great house keeper and my parents are not allergic to my cats. We have carpet so it's never going to be really cat free, my sister has wood floors and only one cat. Any way. It works out in the end I think. We will open presents here then go over there in the afternoon.

I'm off work until January 7th which is great. We will be spending some time working on Jackson's anxiety or ADHD or whatever it is he has. I plan to take him to the doctor that first week back, since my doctor is off until then. He is finally agreeable to do that. He asks me why he gets to mad, and what we can do to help. I'm trying, he's resistant to any suggestion. I hope we will come up with some ideas that help over the holidays. I'd like him to try some simple yoga moves, meditation, perhaps some stress ball type toys and essential oils. Of course some of those things cost money I don't have right now. But we'll see what we can do! I also want to limit his xbox time dramatically. He seems to do ok when he uses his iPad but the xbox is a whole other level of issues. I fear he is getting stuck in certain reactions and it will be that much harder to get him to change those if they are so ingrained. Hopefully the new year will allow for some changes at school as well. He will have a new vice principal, who he met last week (says she is nice actually), and beyond that, I hope I can figure out how to help him interact with two of his teachers who have no patience for him. He has 4 teachers this year, his first block teacher is good, she is steady and seems to understand how to handle him. Second block is a nightmare, and to be honest, after speaking to the woman I am glad I don't have to spend time with her. She often sends him out to sit in the hall and work there. Alone. Because he is rude to her, and she doesn't like that. Never mind how she treats him. Third block is great, she is also the resource teacher and she is amazing. She actually checks on him in the other blocks when she knows he has trouble. He doesn't always tell her what's going on though. I hope he will take advantage of that relationship more. Then last block. He doesn't like her because she told me he could do better in class and needs to speak up more. I shouldn't have said anything to him, but didn't realize the storm that would brew. Now he is defiant with her because she "said mean things about him". working on that. I'll need to speak to her at some point, or go through the resource teacher for help.

It's all been a lot. But certainly has shown me that if I can handle this, and work through it, then perhaps I can handle a "special needs" adoption, to a certain level any way. Is it easier with my own flesh and blood? Perhaps, but kids need love. And I think that is something I can do. So I still intend to move forward with that, but not until April or May, and hopefully Jackson and I will have a better handle on his issues, and my own, so that we are able to grow our family. It would certainly be "easier" to simply go the donor egg/embryo route, but costly, and the age gap would be great, and I'm not entirely sure it would be any "easier" on Jackson to have a baby come home. I'm putting this out there, into the universe, because I think the universe will show me what I can handle and what we should do.

Last minute shopping is done, presents are all wrapped, plans are made, and snow is falling. Kiddo is watching Youtube, I'm not sure of the appeal, and I think I'll watch a movie or at least part of it while he is occupied. We go to my sisters later, and tomorrow is the big presents day.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and wish you a peaceful time.

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