Ungratefulness

Jackson turns 10 tomorrow. For his party we went to the swimming pool, with 6 of his friends. They had a great time, then ran around the party room. He got a few nerf guns and a couple other presents. I only served cake and koolaid. I had chips but they ate the cake and then ran around so I didn't put them out. I assumed because the party was from 1 to 3, and swimming was the first hour, that at 2 pm I wouldn't need to serve anything lunch like. I guess a couple of the kids at least didn't have lunch. Oops. Oh well.

Today I let him go out with a friend most of the day and then open his present from my parents and one from me. He got a video game he's wanted. He set it up, really excited, and of course it was hard so he lost his temper and wants to sell it. Very frustrating to me. Then the phone I got him, he would rather have my old cellphone than a brand new just for him phone. Of course I set it up with a new child's google account for him, and it won't let him use regular Youtube. Only the kids version, which makes me wonder if that's the version he should have been using for everything. And makes me really angry. Ungrateful child.

I think it's typical really, he doesn't seem to appreciate anything that he has, from the stuff to the trips we've been on. I don't know that I can fix it, or teach it. I'm at a loss and it just really upsets me. I get that he is a child, and children are, by nature, selfish. But he fails to show much empathy or consideration. I know it's part of why he's had such difficulty in school, getting along with others. He is spoiled, gets everything he asks for or wants. Even a chromebook for school. He asked for it, I said no. He asked my mom, and my dad bought him one for Christmas. Why? I have no idea, they have them in the classroom so I don't know why he feels he needs his own. I'm sure it will get lost/broken/stolen.

My parents got a person to help me with my clutter for Christmas. So she came last week to evaluate my spaces and stuff, and she'll be coming for two days over the holidays to help me get rid of as much as possible. I hope it will make a big difference. A lot of the stuff is Jackson's toys, which he won't really have much say over. I would like him to help with two buckets of toys but otherwise I will make the decisions. She was very excited, and energetic and told me I have great space. I hope it will feel better once she's done. And set me up for an easy move next year. Maybe I will hire her to come help me set up the house once I'm moved in.

Now I need to figure out what to do with this stupid phone, it's a good freaking phone, 3 day battery life, nice big screen, good for videos and calls, he doesn't like that it doesn't have a button, well no kidding, they don't have those any more! Even my new one doesn't have that. I just don't know. I guess he's been spoiled for too long. Getting him the phone in the first place probably didn't help. But I can get rid of the home line again.

I wish I hadn't spent so much over the past few months, though I don't feel like I've overspent. I did increase how much I spend on the pets, they are eating better food and it shows. But it means I can't do the March Break cruise I had booked, and that makes me sad. I understand, and it does come down to the choices I've made, but I still wish I could afford to do it. The itinerary is just so nice, and it would be so fun. We'll have to wait until December 2020.

I got the new job, I start late January. The commute and parking will suck, but the job itself should be fun and I'll be around my friends more which will be good for me I hope. My current job has been frustrating and I am very tired of it. I look forward to moving on. Hopefully the new one works out! But if not I'll be back where I know more people and I'm sure will have the chance to move around if I seek it.