January

This new year has been flying by in some ways, and crawling in others. I start a new position at work on Monday, meaning I have to go back to my old building, and find parking. I posted about it on facebook and got so many messages from work people who are happy to see me back, a lot of we can go for coffee or come see me messages. It is nice to feel liked. I am happy to be seeing them all again, and the past two years have been good for me I think. The manager may have been nuts but she did help me feel like I am a strong employee with a lot to offer. I have 15 years experience, ranging across the spectrum of jobs, from working with customers to headquarters supporting field workers and projects as well. I know stuff. I remember stuff. One of the guys says I have the memory of an elephant. I guess I do. The commute to the new job will suck, one of the bridges to get there is closed so it pushes traffic onto fewer roads. And I still haven't sorted out parking, which really sucks. And is going to cost more than I can afford right now.

Money, budgets, wow do I suck at this stuff! I am still paying for going to Disney and totally over spending. I really need to get it together or we not only won't be moving but we won't be able to go away in December. Focus on the budget and sticking to it. It is a big harder since I've been eating keto. I haven't actually lost any weight doing it but I feel better (except that I have been waking up with headaches a lot). My stomach has been running well, no tummy troubles, and I am starting to feel the energy benefits. I know it will take a bit longer to really get those (it's only been 2 weeks). I just can only hope I can afford to keep doing this, and to get the cats back on canned food. I had to give in and buy them dry food for the next two weeks, this job change is costing more because of the parking uncertainty.

Weather has been interesting, we seem to get storms on the weekend, Saturday into Sunday morning, spend Sunday shoveling and then the week is usually ok for the most part. I guess it is good since it means I have all day Sunday to shovel. I didn't hire anyone this year, hoping to use a one time service when needed but so far I haven't needed to. I do hope we can move before next winter, and we'll have a smaller driveway. the current one is two car lengths long, one wide, but we're on a corner which means we get the big dump of snow from the plow when it goes around. Go even 2 or 3 cars down and they get less than half what we do.

Jackson and I have been struggling, we have had a few blow outs about his lack of respect, he takes out his anger over things on me. I can only handle being called very mean things for so long before I get mad and say things I regret. I get that he feels "safe" with me to call me these things and he doesn't know how else to deal with what he is feeling. In my head I understand it, but dealing with it is very hard. I have so many other things I'm trying to deal with and of course he hits on all my insecurities, making me feel even worse. We're working on it but it is a trial. I am hoping next week goes ok in the morning so I am not late for work! And hopefully in 6 weeks we'll be able to have him out of daycare, getting to school on his own and home again after, so I can shift my hours to an earlier start. Possibly able to work an extra 30 minutes each day and have a day off every 3 weeks. We'll see!

As for moving, I waiver. My landlord has raised my rent for the first time since I moved in here, it is still less than I'll end up paying at the new places, and the house itself feels so much better after the decluttering was done. But there are still things I'd like to change, and have updated, and I do not look forward to dealing with the rotten deck, and grass cutting, in the summer. Even though I will have to this year any way since I won't be able to save enough until fall for a move. I do plan to slowly replace a few things before we move any way, like my headboard and the garbage can in the kitchen, maybe the TV & stand. I may get a new microwave as well, the one here came with the place and still works but there is this retro red one that looks so cute and goes with the new coffee maker I have. So I'd like to update a few things like that.

Of course I still need to declutter the guest room, the basement, and my own room and kiddos room. Our rooms are a bit less important, they have clothes in them, and probably some garbage, to be collected, but a lot of old clothes are in bags in the guest room (along with a bunch of other stuff that needs to go). I need to arrange for a donation pick up, or to drop stuff off somewhere, the pick up being easiest in terms of just putting a label on the bags/boxes and putting them outside. I had planned to do that for Feb 3 but perhaps I will wait a bit longer. I have not done anything about any of it, to be honest. I haven't even printed off the labels. The stuff upstairs should be pretty easy, label the bag and it can go out. Some stuff still needs to be in a bag, but that's easy. The stuff in the basement is harder since I don't have boxes of the right size so not sure what to do about it, I could put stuff in bags instead of boxes, but I will need more bags for that. And there is the storage room which has a lot of stuff in it, in boxes from when we moved. Some of it things like a quilt I started before kiddo was born, or the stuff from when I had a little side business making lotions. Things that I would someday like to get back to.

A lot of what remains will depend on which place I decide to move to. I think we really only need two bedrooms. The third would be nice as a place for his xbox and such but we don't need it. We won't have a lot of storage unless we move to the town home, rather than a two level flat. I want a town home since it will have a garage, for the car and his bike. But the other places will likely cost a lot less, so how much do I want to spend every month? I should save something on the utilities, I hope. But of course there will be set up fees for all the services. There will also be other things to get like new curtains, and breakfast bar stools. I will not have a kitchen/dining room table, we don't really need it if there is a breakfast bar to sit at for me to eat at. He eats in front of the TV any way, and I am tired of that fight.

January has been slow and long at the same time. Work was frustrating, trying to finish things, keep motivated to keep working, when I should have been let go to the new job well before I was. Now I'll play catch up on the new position and hopefully it will go well. Money has sucked, as always, and I need to pay better attention to it. At least I am eating pretty well, and Jackson is still eating a lot. He went skiing for the first time and had a lot of fun. Hopefully we get through the next few weeks well and can make it to spring without any problems. And he'll be ready to get to school on his own. Fingers crossed.