This year

 I know there are a lot of jokes and memes floating around about 2020, I mean this year has been so crazy. Usually, I am ok with it all. I mean I have a bit of worry about what we'd do if I got sick, or if he did, and in the beginning about how expensive everything suddenly became, but we made it through that part and are somewhat settled. I try and see the good parts, I love being able to work from home, and I think it's been good for him to be not in school for a little while. But then, something will trigger this overwhelming "ugh" moment for me and I will feel like crying about the whole situation. I miss the things we should have been doing this summer, he was supposed to be trying out new summer camps, we were supposed to have season passes for the local water park. Now, we've gone to the beach once, and will be going to a museum this week but otherwise we haven't really gone anywhere or done much. I feel badly that I haven't been able to do as much as we did last year, we haven't been able to go swimming or to the beach we like (it's closed this summer any way) and even little day trips haven't happened because of so many restrictions.

This virus, it scares me, and it amazes me how quickly the world has changed. I feel resentful that I can't do things I want to do, that we can't plan trips for this winter, and we can't even just decide to go swimming and play at the pools. I am sad that things have changed in so many ways, and scared about what school holds for this fall. At least in that regard I am (so far) satisfied with my decision to send him, the board has about 25% of kids that won't be going to class so I am hoping his group will be smaller. I hope that we will feel like it's safe, and not want to pull him back to online. If I'm honest, we could use a little break from one another. It's been a long 6 months of just us, with a few breaks where he has spent a night at my parent's. He is going for 3 nights this weekend and is already worrying about it. I am looking forward to it, as much as I love my kiddo, I am an introvert by nature and look forward to alone time. 

He's been staying up late, we go to bed at the same time so I don't get time then. During the week, I get up first but I have to work, so it isn't like I can just watch something fun for me. I do get some time after dinner sometimes (like today) when he's either playing online with friends or going to the park with them. I prefer when he goes to the park, but I'll take either option. Weekends, I am probably up after him. I feel like I have not been getting enough sleep at all. I think once school starts, he'll be going to bed earlier. I hope so. 

Once school is sorted, or at least started, I will have to consider work. I am not happy with my job, the work itself that I currently have is irritating to me, it is not something I enjoy and not what I want to be doing. I will have to find a way to get a new position, without being able to just go walk up to people I know and chat with them. I'm sure I can do it, I really want to get back to projects, I prefer it a lot. I am also good at it, good at writing for projects. I just hope I can find something. 

I am feeling down this evening, probably tired from a long night, he woke up with a bad dream and I had to sit with him for about 2 hours in the middle of the night. So I'm tired. Doesn't help the situation. I am also wondering about travelling. We miss it, we went to Disney last summer and it was so nice. I can't wait to go back, but not until the mess is over in the US. I also want to cruise, but don't see that happening. I am wondering if it will be at all possible to go to an all inclusive, we never have, and winter is going to be long. But we won't go if it isn't safe of course. And if we do go, it will have to be somewhere with a lot to do for him. But then too, a trip may mean we can't move.

And speaking of the moving, I keep thinking we should stay here another two years, save enough to buy something. Something small. Instead of renting. I don't know. Buying will be very expensive, prices have gone up so much in only a few years, two more years could be difficult. But I'd have my debts paid off by then and hopefully enough for a down payment. But buying comes with so much responsibility, and having to maintain things. I'm sure we can find something that isn't too much work. 

Mid-August update

 Hard to believe summer is winding down and it's almost fall! We haven't done much this summer, it's hard with all the restrictions but we are trying. He has been getting out with friends, to the park and such, and now that his splint is off he's able to get back to the monkey bars and everything. Today we wanted to hit a beach. We tried one in Ottawa but it was packed and I was uncomfortable with staying there so we went over to Gatineau to Lac Leamy and it was fine. The water was pretty good, not Caribbean Ocean good but not weedy and gross so that was a nice thing. He got a bit of a burn because he felt he didn't need to wear his rashguard since he's a "man" now. Hopefully this will be a lesson but we'll see! He got clean at least. We will be going to the aviation museum before school starts as well, he's really into planes right now so I thought it would be a good choice. It's the other end of town, and closed a couple days, you have to buy tickets in advance, but I think it will a good day trip kind of thing. A few hours any way. 

I have decided to send him to the classroom. I am not sure it's the right choice, I hope we get more information from the school before it's time to go back, but he wants to go and there will be a couple friends there for sure, but also many doing online. If it come to it though, I'd likely just pull him out completely and say let's homeschool. The online plans are actually decent to me, at least what the ministry is saying has to happen. But I have no idea how the school will roll it out, and that's the worry. He went through a day or so where he thought staying home would be better, but when he learned it's mostly synchronized learning, so he has to be logged on with a teacher for 225 minutes a day, he said no way. 

I am waiting for details on how school will work, who his teachers are, the classes, who will be there. I believe they will split the immersion and non immersion kids, so he won't be in class with his little nemesis. But I am not sure if they will all be going to recess together or kept separate there too. Which is good, but also one of his friends in in non-immersion. Funnily, the few kids he has been playing with this summer, will not be going back to in school. One may start up again in November, I guess depending on how it goes. And I am not sure we'll make it that long. Any sign of trouble, whether covid or with teachers, we will just not be doing it. I'm tired of all the difficulties we have had with him in school, and while he has had a lot of time to mature in the almost 6 months since school wrapped up, I suspect there would still be some problems. So... I'll be working from home (forever if I have my way) and so we can homeschool in the unschooling manner, with projects and self directed learning. I am sorely tempted to do that any way, but am giving grade 6 a chance before we make that decision. 

In the meantime, I am doing a lot of homeshooling research, and we are doing some learning. Planes right now and an eye to how to become a pilot or design planes, what do we need for those career paths. We've talked about air cadets when he's 12, and how that is a great (and pretty much free) way to learn some basic flying. Aerospace Engineering as a career, what courses would be good to have towards that. Now, we'll just have to get him over the fact the throws up even at the thought of being on a plane. 

Back to School Decisions

Local school boards have finally released their plans for back to school. For kiddo's board, the elementary schools will be back to full days. They will have staggered starts and breaks, but we won't get those details until schools send more information in another week or two. We have until this Friday to decide if we will do online or in class. Whatever you choose, you are stuck to until end of October. The kids will have to wear masks, have one seat, do their work online in the platform the board uses. The online kids will be at home, and able to contact teachers for help. They will be able to collaborate with the in class kids apparently. 

Details are still a little fuzzy on how the staggering will work, and how many kids will be in a group. The classes will be online and in class kids together. Teachers will rotate into the class, so kids will have their own little "island" of a desk, with all their stuff. That will be fun in winter. They will have to come up with something for the boots and such. 

I have contacted those parent's I know, and so far, of the 6 kids, 3 are doing online only, 2 are going to in class and one is probably going to in class, but his mom is a teacher and looking for more information first. Jackson wants to go. I think he should. But. I am prepared to pull him out, and I mean take him out and home school instead. Actually unschool. To be honest, I think it would be better for him in any case, but I don't want to pull him out if he is not ready. So I give the school a week or two before he wants to never go again. The problem I have is that I will have to get over what I think he needs to learn versus what he wants to learn. I can't help him with French, he doesn't want to do "regular" learning. But he is learning, he can tell you anything you want to know about planes, different types, various airlines, how to land, what the differences are. If he keeps it up I am hoping to put him in air cadets at 12, he wants to learn to fly and that would be the least expensive way to do it. I know he'll have other things that come up that he wants to learn more about. And it would be freeing to not be tied to the school year for vacations and such. But... can we do it? We may find out. 

For me, work is not going well. I am not enjoying it and wish I could change jobs. I am waiting for the union to sign our new contracts and then get some back pay and a raise. I can't wait for that! I am trying to do my job, trying to not hate it but I am not inspired by what I'm supposed to do, at all. It is frustrating to be dealing with a system that was built with so many issues. I mean it's practically new, only a year or two old, and yet there are so many things that it can't do, yet I'm asked to try and get the information. I wish I was back on a project, even if it meant just writing stuff again. I don't know what to do in the current climate, finding a new position will not be easy. And I really want to be able to stay home as long as possible, like another 10 years until I can retire if possible. My retirement course in early September will be online, perhaps I will learn more then about what I need to do over the next 10 years. 

The townhomes we want to move to are going up for rent, but only the ones on the main road and I want the back ones on the quiet street. We don't have first/last yet any way so we'll have to wait. And then I keep waivering. perhaps we should stay here for another year, save some money, buy a house instead of renting? But renting is so much easier for maintenance, not having to replace things. But if we homeschool, and I can work from home, we can live anywhere, a house in the country with a big yard, or some place else near by that is less expensive. I guess we'll see what happens over the next couple months. 

August 2020

It's August. Normally around now I'd be celebrating the start of my holidays, looking forward to 5 weeks of time off. This year is different, no vacation plans this summer, we're home any way so no day camps. No swimming lessons, nothing really planned. I am off this weekend, extra long with a couple extra days off. I'll have a few days off the week before school starts, I may move them depending on the actual start date. Facebook keeps reminding me that I'm normally enjoying time off, but I am holding strong and waiting to use the vacation days either when we move or in the winter, should travel again be an option. Unlikely but I'm always hoping! 

An interesting development the past few days. Kiddo has not been playing any video games. On computer or xbox. His choice. He says his laptop is not broken but I haven't checked. He is still watching videos, and hanging out in the tent we got him a few years ago from Ikea. As a result, it's like he has matured over night. He is helpful, we have good conversations, he is learning some cooking skills. And while he's had one or two mild blow ups, it is nothing like what it normally is. I have proof that those darn games are horrible on his brain. Imagine if he gave up the youtube! 

While school is due to start in early September, either the 3rd or 8th depending on what they tell us, we are starting to plan for it. We will go get him new runners a week or so before, my parents offered to pay for them. We will also need some more pants for him, he's growing taller and taller. I am not sure how much longer he'll be in kid clothes to be honest. He is catching up to me in height! We have a dozen or so masks for him to use in school, and I will make sure he has hand sanitizer to take even though they will have a sink in the class room. I think he'll need some new pens and such as well, though it appears almost everything will be done on chromebooks. He has his own, thank goodness, so he'll be able to take that daily and use it. He wants a mouse with it as well, which shouldn't be a problem. We have a corded one he can take but I may get him a cordless one to use. 

Still trying to get my steps in every day, keep up the exercise, but it's gotten hard with some heat waves we've been having. Today I did walk the dog and kiddo came with us! Which was super great and I was really happy he came with us. He rode his bike, walked it at a few points. I think the exercise was good for all of us. 

A month until schools restart, what a strange year this has been.