Evenings and tempers

I turned 41 on the weekend. Yuck. I know it's just another year and people tell me things like I only look 35... but I feel older. Since I'm another whole year older I feel like I should make some better choices. I should be better at some things than I am. Like taking care of kiddo. With my winter sadness this year I feel like I'm not doing very well at it. Like I'm just doing the basics and not really focusing on him and what he needs. So I am trying to change that.

Last night was a little rough. I did well and didn't turn on the computer or play on the phone until he was in bed. But bedtime was difficult. He kept getting up. I finally got him back in bed, may have yelled a bit, and he asked me to help him. But how do you help a kid who is now saying the monsters are in the bed with him? I know it is because of something else in his head, but getting him to talk about it is difficult. He finally said he doesn't like people yelling at him all the time, that he wants to be good "like Scott". We talked about how people are not always yelling at him because they are mad, but that sometimes it is because he doesn't seem to be paying attention to what they are saying, and what he should be doing. How people who raise their voice are not necessarily yelling. We talked about how he is younger than the other kids, he is a December baby, almost a year younger than some of the kids in his class. And how it is hard to listen sometimes. I told him to try and look at the teacher when she is talking, and to do what she is asking.

Then tonight, he played on the computer, instead of me, but no TV on. We went up at bed time and he read me two books for his readathon. Then I tried to talk about his day as we do at bedtime and he started fooling around, trying to avoid talking. So I got upset, and said "this is why people get mad at you, you aren't listening". Which of course was not the best thing to say. He finally said he was upset because he fell at recess and got hurt, his leg still hurts, and "no one helped him". We talked about what happened, he fell on the ice, actually on top of his friend. Was his friend hurt? No. What happened next? He said he crawled off the ice, but didn't tell a teacher. I told him that next time he needs to tell a teacher if he is that hurt! Hopefully his leg is better tomorrow. He was walking fine, and able to climb on some big snow hills around the parking lot.

Hopefully I can keep doing better. I am trying any way. I know we need to start bedtime earlier, but we already head up at 7 and I think that's early enough. Getting him to read has been tricky, he needs to practice, and likes to read, but he doesn't like to not be good at it so he doesn't like to try too hard. As with most things, if he isn't perfect right off the bat he gets upset and wants to quit. A bit of a perfectionist.

Jackson goes to a Catholic school, and tomorrow is the start of Lent, so he wants to "fast" and give up candy. He thinks that also means he has to give up his bear paw cookies, but I have told him I think just sweet things, like candy and his fruit roll ups. We shall see how long it lasts! I am not sure I will be giving up anything, other than the electronics between dinner and bedtime.