I'm frustrated. I took a new position at work in the fall, on a temporary basis, and I like it. There is some stuff I do not like but in general the team is good, the work is interesting, I'm learning a lot. The manager sucks, and now she has denied my request for summer vacation. The first year where if Jackson doesn't go I don't have to pay, and I can't even avoid having to pay now! I am really upset about it. Perhaps more than I should be. We will survive, but it is very annoying and now I am left scrambling to find a new position, or return to a job I don't want to do. We go away in a few weeks, and when I get back I'll have maybe 2 weeks to find something new in time to get all the paper work done. I can't see it happening. So my choices become not taking the time off in the summer, or taking my full paid vacation and using unpaid leave in the winter. Which means having to save to cover that. Missing two pay cheques at once is different than losing the pay and having it averaged out over a full year.
It really sucks. I can't believe any potential savings from no daycare or summer camps is now gone, and I have to figure out where to send him, how much it will cost, and lose out myself! Maybe I am spoiled, I enjoy spending the time together in the summer, I enjoy taking the time off work. I'm not one who loves my job. It pays the bills, it's a necessity. But as soon as I can retire I will. And honestly in a few years when Jackson is 12 or so, he'll probably be staying home alone a few weeks of the summer any way.
At least we have our trip coming in April. We are going on another cruise and spending two nights afterwards at Disney. Everything is paid for at this point except gratuities on the cruise and spending money. I will take care of that all in two weeks. Sadly the Canadian dollar has been dropping so it's going to cost me more than it would have a few months ago. My plan going forward is to get a bit every month so it's easier in future. Not that we are supposed to be planning any more trips! But I know we will. I am hoping to take another trip next February or so.This winter has been long, and we need a nice break in the middle. December was too early, April is too late. I would do one on March break but it costs so much more for flights I just can't justify the extra costs. Mind you it means he misses school and perhaps that won't be possible in another year or two.
Now I need to think some good thoughts, picture what I want and wait for the universe to provide. I know things will work out, but perhaps not in the way I would really like. I have some contacts and will be sending off my resume and interest to a few managers and directors that I know. Hopefully something good will come of it! Quickly. I could probably manage this summer but I certainly have no intention of going through this every summer. It's clear what the manager's thoughts are and though the project is where it is because of a lack of leadership, and taking 5 extra months to staff up, the staff is now paying the price. I don't think I'm the only one who may be leaving, two of the other staff are term employees looking to become permanent and they both have possible offers. Hopefully the project doesn't fail, it is a great idea and would be great if it is completed.
For now, I am planning for Easter at my parent's and then our next vacation. All while trying to network as much as possible and find a new position... and of course while doing my actual job. My boss mentioned she hopes I don't just check out and that I will keep working... who says that? Any way! Shows what type of boss she is I guess.
I wish I knew what I would really like to do with myself. I have this job that I don't love, but it has a pension plan, benefits, usually great vacation, and room to move around. But I can't find that thing that I want to do. I am 43, and I can retire at 55, though I will probably work until 57 to get the years in I need, I don't think I will do much more than that, and it all depends if I am actually able to save up extra on top of the pension, and figure out where I would want to live. Not here as the cost of living is higher than many places. I also hate winter, so a place with a nicer one, or the option to spend winter some place warmer, is a necessity. Perhaps I won't want to be too far from Jackson? I don't know. I do know that I have 12+ years to go, I'm about half way through this career.
We had a team meeting today and were talking about summer vacation plans, one of the girls mentioned she has no idea what she wants to do this summer, or any other time. I can tell you exactly what vacation I want every summer and winter for the next few years... with some variation in exact dates for the trips I want to take. I am a planner. While my plans don't always work out, I feel better having them. I have a detailed budget, I know exactly how much money I will have on any day for the next two years. And I may go ahead and do the one after that soon since it bugs me that I haven't yet. Sometimes it is a good thing, and sometimes it throws me for a loop when things don't work the way I expect.
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