It's Saturday. Jackson slept in, I slept in more. We've had breakfast. Now what? His days are mostly the same no matter what day of the week it is. He refuses to do school work or leave the house so he plays video games, watches Youtube, bounces around with his soft soccer ball. Eats snacks, and that's about it! In the evening we turn on Disney + and watch Clone Wars or whatever other Star Wars shows he wants. But my days are different. During the week I have to work, and so sit at the table with my laptop for 8 hours or more. Between providing snacks of course. I take the dog for walks, usually in the early afternoon for a work break, and after dinner. Except part of this week because it's been so cold and rainy.
Now it's the weekend. I can go watch something on TV, take the dog for an extra walk. I should be cleaning up the backyard and the leaves in the front, but our rake broke last fall and I didn't replace it. Now that purchase is a process, place the order, wait for the call to pick it up, sit in a line up of cars getting curbside delivery. I should do this of course, I do need the take after all, but life was so much easier when I could just go to the store and buy one! I'd have gone yesterday. Oh well. It's supposed to rain again tomorrow so I will wait a few more days.
I hate lawn care, I am scared of the lawn mower so I use a weed wacker type thing, and a push reel mower, but neither does the best job. I have been looking at electric mowers, like with a battery. There is one on air miles I could get, wouldn't have to pay for it! But then my air miles are all gone and I will have to start saving them again, which is harder now that things are slowed down. Not that I can go anywhere any ways. But I was hoping for that December trip to still be a thing, and might have used some for the hotel night before the cruise. Maybe.
Now Jackson also wants a switch, he is obsessed with that Animal Crossing game, I don't know why. Of course you can't get it for Xbox so he wants a switch. I am not wanting to spend $400 on that! I will consider saving up some optimum points, maybe in another month or two I can afford to use those to get it for half price or something, but honestly, it's more likely to be Christmas before I could. And do we need a second gaming machine? Honestly? I don't see why. He has a lap top now too after getting that back from my parents. I'm just not feeling it. So I will attempt to push him off and hopefully he will get over it and move on to something else. Two weeks ago it was a basketball net.
It's kind of funny, in my normal life, I don't do a lot on the weekend, get groceries, clean the house a bit, do laundry. But now that I can't do anything, I want to. I want to be able to take him swimming again, to go to the park and watch him play basketball with his friends. Walk the dog, ride my bike. Ok, maybe not ride the bike, I need a padded seat before I do that again :-) Now with nothing to do, I worry and stress and make plans that will probably never happen. I have already made a list of lunches and dinners for the next week, he gets to choose from the list so he can't complain or make a problem.
I'd like to diet, to exercise, to lose 50 lbs before life reopens (not a realistic goal of course) but when it comes down to follow through, I lose it, I can't do it. I get into a funk and fall apart, want to just have naps and read books and start at screens. I am aware of my own anxiety and depression tendencies, I recognize it when it comes over me. I know when I need to force myself to move and do things. I also know the things I need to say to myself, to talk myself back into living a bit.
This weekend will be another boring one I guess. I should trim the hair on the dog's ears, he keeps getting them in his food. The cats all need their nails cut. The weather today promises to be nice so I will walk the dog, though avoiding people while doing that can be a bit tricky. I will cook whatever meals the boy wants. He had thought we could do a pretend cruise day, one of his friends did it with Disney so Jackson thought a cruise day would be fun. But apparently now he doesn't think it's a good idea. We'll see if I can pull something like that off, maybe tomorrow when it's rainy and I won't want to go anywhere. If only I had been able to find the ice cream he likes at the store. And who knows, maybe later today I will cave and buy that rake so I can clean up the yard.
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