Hello 2016

A new year is beginning soon. I wonder what it will bring. This past year has been exciting. I turned 40. On a cruise ship! With my fabulous travelling companion, we had a wonderful time and I think that trip was the best week of the year. I also really enjoyed our summer together, having all of August off was really nice. I hope we are able to do that again this coming summer.

Jackson has changed and grown a lot over the past year. He has matured a lot, starting grade 1 was difficult at first but I would say it has been great for him. He has learned to read! Seriously. It is amazing to watch him learn and figure things out. I love how smart he is, except when he uses it against me. He remembers everything! And he is my life. He is a smart, fun, funny, active kid. I sometimes think I am not the best mother, but he is turning out to be a great kid so I must be doing something right. For 2016 I want to do better, to yell even less, to play more, to just enjoy being a mom.

We've had a difficult year with pets, lost poor Joshua and Riley. Brought home Kit Kat. He has recently been saying that he misses Riley. Or that he wants a new dog, one who is friendly and plays with him. I tell him we have to wait awhile longer. I think we will wait until we can buy a house and move, perhaps a dog, or perhaps another cat. I do love cats. Jackson does as well, he is so good with the cats, I think it is good for kids to have pets and he is so great with them, well the two youngest, not our old guy who runs away from him still. No plans for a new pet in 2016 but you never know.

Speaking of houses, I hope to buy in 2016. It greatly depends on if we finally get a new contract at work and I get some back pay and payouts. It would make for a down payment. What house we buy will be a great debate. I think we will stay in the same school zone. Jackson has made some good friends in school and I think it would be nice for him to keep them. It limits us quite a bit, since there are limited homes in the school zone. And fewer that would be in the budget. Which is another debate, do I get just what we need or what we would really want. Guess I have time to decide all of that!

I hope that 2016 will be filled with fun, and some travel, and perhaps a new job. Not sure what else. It doesn't really seem like a whole year has gone by. It is strange how quickly time seems to pass. Looking from one day to the next always with something else waiting to get done. I think for 2016 I want to slow down, to enjoy the moments. That is my goal.

The Christmas Season

How did I forget about how busy this time of year is? From the start of December and getting ready for the birthday party, to getting ready for the big day, it is non-stop! I look forward to the weekends which seem to be slower than the weekdays for some reason. Only one week to go! I actually booked a few days off in order to get everything done, It doesn't seem like enough though. I hate feeling so overwhelmed by everything. The house is a disaster, there are so many toys all over the place, and I don't even know where to begin but it needs to get organized. So baby steps, starting this weekend. We don't really need to do anything this weekend, though if the weather is nice perhaps we'll get out for a bit.

Still no snow! Knock wood. I am not sad that we may actually have a green Christmas this year. I didn't hire a snowplow service this year, so I am glad for any extra days I get without having to shovel. It would be nice for kiddo to have to play in, but I am quite sure we'll get lots. Since the dog is gone the backyard would actually be fun to play in this year too.

My parents are coming to visit over the holidays, they will stay with my sister and her family, we have too many cats and my dad has allergies. Plus they don't like the way I keep house so it works out for the best. I prefer it really, I like my space and don't like to share. I have a hard enough time sharing with my kid. They will come for dinner on the 24th and come on the 25th to see Jackson with his gifts. Then we go to my sister's for dinner on the 25th. And hope she does something good. I am supposed to take dessert, which I will pick up on the 24th on my way home from work I think.

Jackson had a hard time deciding on what he wants this year, I am honestly not really sure what he does want from Santa, but I am sure he will love his gifts any way. I got myself a calendar and he made me something in school. I also did a stocking for myself, so there will be something for me. I would much rather watch him open his gifts, and see his eyes when he gets his presents. But if I don't have a stocking he will be suspicious.

I have one more day of work this week, am off until Wednesday, do a half day Thursday with Jackson at work (so no real work), then I'm off until January 4th. Jackson may go to day two days over the holidays, but we'll see. I don't think we'll be sledding this year, so perhaps we'll go to swimming or something. I am sure it will be so nice to just relax for a bit and not really do anything. For both of us!

A 6th Birthday Party

Today we had Jackson's birthday party. We went back to Gym Tale as we have the past two years, and it was fun as always. They do a good party but I suspect this is the last time we'll be able to go there. The boys were a bit overwhelming. I am very glad the party was not at the house! There were 6 boys total, The party was supposed to be for 8, including the birthday boy, but we had two reply they couldn't come and two others who never replied. So 5 other kids and my own. My goodness they were active! There is a big play structure and they had 30 minutes to run around first. They were all sweaty and red faced by the end of that time. Then an obstacle course, ending with a ball fight against a monster. And after that the party room for pizza and cake. We didn't open the gifts there, but brought them home instead. He got a few good things! Some lego, dinosaur stuff, all things he will enjoy for sure.

His actual birthday is not until the 9th. We will head out for dinner that night. My parent's sent him a restaurant gift card so the meal is on him :-)  The day after he has a dentist appointment to get two cavities filled. Poor kid with his teeth. He is so good at the dentist though, he's had a checkup with temporary fillings put in, and a cleaning. He is much better about brushing after the checkup too. Hopefully no more cavities!

Things are going pretty well. He is doing well at school, he can read! It is a little bit weird to me. There have been some issues with his emotions, he is a very sensitive kid and kids are mean. So he gets teased and called a cry baby by some. We talk about it. I feel bad, since I am the same way. But of course I am a girl. We work on that, and on him not caring what other people think of him, or the things he likes. We write in an I Like Book every night, one thing I like about him and one thing he likes about himself. He also likes to put in one thing he likes about me. We have only just started but I think it will help. I hope it will any way.

Christmas is coming. We put the tree up today but will decorate it tomorrow. I wanted to give the cats a chance to get used to it, and see if they are going to try and knock it over! Especially Kit Kat who is a bit of a hooligan! The other two should be used to it of course. It is lit up, and looks lovely just like that, but we'll add some unbreakable ornaments to it tomorrow.

Next weekend we will go to a Christmas party and he'll sit with Santa. Do all that stuff. It will be fun, and we'll enjoy it. We didn't write a letter, again, I don't think we ever have. He isn't interested. We do have a darn elf on a shelf... I have remembered to move the silly thing every night so far, So far so good any way. He also has a toy advent calendar, which he loves. Though he is having a hard time waiting each day to open a box. Patience is not one of his best virtues. But he is a good kid, and he is my boy.

Happy Halloween!

Halloween was pretty good this year. Jackson is at an age to love it. And I was healthy and able to take him out, plus it was on Saturday so we did a bunch of stuff. Friday he got dressed up as a pirate and went to school. He looked pretty good I think. He had fun, they got a few treats, he handed out pencils to everyone. Saturday we went to a local mall, they do trick or treating at the stores, and he got a lot of candy. Most of it chocolate. One thing about my boy, he doesn't like chocolate, except Smarties, So I got a lot of treats! Then he dressed up as a ninja to go out, it was good weather so his black hoodie under the costume added to it, and he looked pretty cute. He got a lot of candy, but his favourite treats were the chips. Which he has eaten almost all of! Crazy. We left out a bucket of treats for kids to help themselves, and most of it was gone when we got home. But there was more in the house, and we only got a handful of kids afterwards. So we have a lot of that left too! So much sugar... so much sugar.

Lots of loot

Pirate for school

Ninja trick or treater

We also got his school pictures, he is so cute! Maybe I am a bit biased though. He is doing really well in school, he is reading stories to me at bedtime, very cute. He is learning so much. It is so amazing to see. I can't wait for him to really get it, and to enjoy reading as much as I do. 

We are both sick now though. Stuffy nose and a bit of a cough. First one of the school year, so that's not too bad I guess! I just hope we get some sleep and feel better sooner than later. The time change hasn't helped of course. 

My big Grade 1 boy!

Growing Up

Jackson is at a sleepover tonight. He is at his friend's house, they were playing and he had pizza for supper. I hope he is going to sleep tonight, actually I hope he is asleep now. He will be tired the rest of the weekend, but I guess it's worth it! He will have a lot of fun, I hope he makes it the whole night, but if not I am ready to go get him when I need to. No calls yet though!

It is funny to be home with an empty house. Strange to be able to watch "grown up" tv, and not worry about whether he's asleep yet or not. I guess as he gets older I'll experience this more, sleepovers, even just his going to a friend's house. It is very odd, I'm so used to having him here now. I'm not sure if I like it! Perhaps I'll have to find a new hobby or take a class or something.

Work is work, but I did pass a test for a manager position and am waiting for the next steps in that. It would not be a permanent promotion, and not much of a raise, but the experience would hopefully mean a chance to get the experience I need to get a higher level, better paying, position, and the language training I need. Ultimately, if I am lucky, I can retire at 55, that's 15 years away. But I need a really good 5 years to make the most of the pension, so a higher position would be good. Being in management is more work though, and harder while Jackson is so young. When he is older it would be easier to be late home from work or what have you.

We have both adjusted to back to school, back to work. Jackson is doing well though he sometimes makes comments that make me worry how he is really doing in school. He is quite sensitive and I worry other children are making fun of him, and possibly bullying him, because of it. I am keeping an eye on him, and we talk daily, but I hope I am wrong any way. He enjoys it for the most part, and is learning a lot. But there seem to be some kids who like to be a little too rough. Jackson makes quite a few comments about how he didn't cry, I guess he is like me and will cry more than he likes. Being a boy that of course gets him teased. I have told him that if anyone hurts him he needs to tell the teacher right away. I do not like that I need to tell him that. Being a kid is supposed to be fun and all about learning and growing.

He's lost two more teeth, nothing on top yet, but two more from the bottom. He is very happy to have gotten more money from the tooth fairy. He is learning a lot about money. Some of it he doesn't like. The school has a pizza lunch and last year it was in a few different terms, so it was maybe $24 for the session. This time it is $40 for one slice for the first term, and he wants two slices. So I have said no. And he was mad, so I am sending a mini pizza every Wednesday instead. I can get 4 pizza's for $2 or so, that's 50 cents a meal instead of over $4. I know he'd rather have the school pizza, but he is happy to get pizza at all. He is making funny connections about money though, he says because we went on the trip, 8 months ago, he can't have the pizza at school. Silly boy.

He has decided what he wants to be for Christmas, and it won't be easy! But I will do my best to make it for him. He also knows what he wants for Christmas, and my parents are getting him two of the things. So I can focus on the one left and a few other things. I think we need to get rid of some of the little kid toys though, not sure he'll agree but I hope so! It would be nice to get rid of a few things.

Grade 1

Well yesterday was supposed to be the first day of school, but of course my kiddo woke up with a sore throat and fever! So instead of a first day, he stayed home. Ugh! I did call the school to see who his teacher will be, and he was excited to know it was who he wanted. Today he did go to school, and I am still home because I emailed my boss to take the rest of the week off, I was worried he'd be sick longer than a day, and there is still a chance he'll come home early or need another day off. But he's there! And he was excited to find his desk, and get a cubby, and all of it. We'll see at the end of the day of course, and how much he'll share with me. I hope he has a friend of two in his class. I think there are two grade 1 classes, I know the one boy he has issues with is in the other class (thank goodness!!)  He still isn't feeling 100% so I sent him with chicken noodle soup and some softer foods. The softer foods because his throat hurts and he has another loose tooth!

Instead of going to work today, I went and got groceries. It was worth it, and I am still thinking I will stay off the rest of the week, even though he's feeling better. Manage to avoid work a few more days? Yes please! As long as Jackson doesn't know it will be fine.

Saturday morning we have plans to go to Home Depot and do the free kids craft, it is a nice way to spend the morning and he gets a new something from it. He doesn't like using the hammer because it is hard, but he loves the painting and the screw driver. While we are there I will pick up a part for the toilet upstairs. It keeps running by itself so I know what needs to be replaced, and it looks easy enough. I do rent and could call the landlord to fix it but it would probably cost him like $60 for a plumber plus the part, and I can do it for $15 on my own. It will save me money on water for sure, stupid thing runs on it's own just kind of randomly! Drives me nuts.

It was pay day, wasn't quite as a big a pay day as I wanted, or expected, but it was enough of course. Managed to set a good budget and we'll pick up some fast food for supper. Saves me having to cook and kiddo is always excited. He gets a grown up meal now, he loves it even though he doesn't eat all the food, and I get him OJ or milk with it, he doesn't like soda (pop?) which is probably a good thing.

I am still waiting for a new contract, and wondering what I'll do with the money. Even now I am dreading winter, and wishing I could go on another cruise or trip to Disney, or something! I should be frugal and not waste the money, but man do I want to go somewhere. I don't want to wait another year to do it! I don't think kiddo wants to wait either. He loves the trips, he had so much fun and talks about it all the time. We talk about it at bedtime many nights, and just randomly. He wants to go again and I've told him probably when he is 7, so he is waiting for that. I'd like to surprise him with going sooner. I guess we'll see what happens.

My day is half over, but kiddo still has quite a few hours to go at school. I hope he is having fun, and enjoying the experience. I also hope he will talk about it at the end of the day and tell me about it. Not get distracted as he tends to do. I am looking forward to it.

Almost back to work

Two more days. That's all I have before it's back to work. I am not looking forward to it at all. I don't think I really like my job. In general it's a pay cheque but certainly it's not something I ever thought I'd be doing. What did I expect? No idea really. But now I'm 40 and 15 years (hopefully) from retiring, so it feels like it's too late to change that. I can change positions within the organization, and I will probably be looking to do that. I do not like some of my co-workers at the moment and my boss is so not ready to be the boss. I'm not either but he is just so new to it, and it is frustrating. I'm not sure how to fix it, or help, or change it at all. I do have a test for a sort of promotion, it's a different level but kind of equivalent so I'm not even sure I'd want to do it, except that I could escape the people I work with for a year or so. It's not permanent. In order to really move up, I need to learn French, and I am not good at languages.

Tomorrow is Jackson's last day of summer. He starts Grade 1 on Tuesday. He is quite excited, I hope it goes well. I will be able to take him for the first day, and have him go to daycare after to get used to that. Then Wednesday it's back to it for both of us. Back to some better eating for me, and exercise too. I am looking forward to those parts. Weird. We have no real plans for the day, getting lunches ready, clean the house a bit, perhaps play at the park, if the weather is good because it has been so hot lately!

Today we went swimming at the pool, it was fun. But it was the last time for awhile. I also cleaned out the closets, All the old clothes that don't fit. Got 4 bags of clothes to go! Crazy how much stuff we have that we don't need. It was a starting point any way. There is still a lot to clean up. If we are going to move in a year, then I expect we will need to get rid of a lot of stuff. I know we need to purge some toys too. I've told Jackson he needs to decide on some to get rid of before his birthday in December, and before Christmas. Nothing new until something goes. We'll see how that goes! Today he had so many set up, all over the floor. He was having a lot of fun though, train set, boats in the "harbour" and two airports. It was crazy and messy, and he had a lot of fun. So it was nice.

We actually had a busy week. There were 3 play dates, and swimming, and he had two days of daycare. I kind of enjoyed those two days. It was nice to relax a little on my own. Though of course I also did some grocery shopping, cleaned the house, and did laundry. I'm sure Tuesday will be nice as well, after I drop him off at school I have the day to myself. But I have to prepare for work. And that could be difficult for me. I am not looking forward to it. I think I said that already.

Summer wind down

Summer is winding down. I have about 11 days before I'm back at work, and 10 before kiddo goes back to school. It is a little bit sad really. I feel like we haven't done anything, just hang out and hit the parks. We've gone swimming 3 times, down to visit my parents for awhile, and basically not much else. None of the grand plans I had. See I suck at money. I like to spend and shop. Sometimes I guess I do more of that than I should. So we are on strict budget while we get to a point where I can get us out of this. Hopefully next summer we'll be able to do a few of the things I wanted to do this year. And every year, be able to do more. I am (not so patiently) waiting for my union to sign a contract, we've been close to 3 years in negotiations, hopefully we'll get one this fall. Once we sign, I'll be getting 3 years of back pay, a pretty nice raise and a pay out for a part of the contract that should result in a down payment for a house. At that point, I'll have to decide what to do.

We like to go look at model homes, and dream. Jackson is obsessed with wanting a balcony. And a boat, but we aren't getting that. For the house, he wants a balcony for some reason I don't really understand. For myself, I want a house! The problem comes with what do I want, a new house? Built just for us with the finishes I like. Or an older, usually less expensive, place. Do we stay in this school zone or move to a new area? Change schools and daycare, perhaps be closer to where I work? Do I care about having a yard? Would a balcony be enough? We no longer have the dog, and as long as we are near a park we can get the running around outside out of his system. We never really use the backyard here any way. We have cats, so vertical space would be nice, if we own I can do shelves for the kitties. Why do I even think about this now? I mean it's going to be months before anything happens, I suspect November for the contract, then at least 2 months to get the money and 3 months for it to sit in savings so I can use it for the down payment. Avoiding taxes on the money so it ends up as enough to use. That means maybe next summer.

So until then we are on budget lock down, paying off as much debt as I can, saving some, and sticking to the budget. Kiddo keeps asking for toys, but has been told no more until his birthday, only 4 months to go! He is quite stubborn, but he will survive, as will I. I also like to get things, clothes, nail polish, makeup, cat stuff, oh I do like to shop! I keep in mind that once I get the debt gone, and buy the house, I will have a bunch of extra money to spend on whatever I really want, like all those things I like to shop for. And trips, cruises, and Disney.

All in all, it means nothing really fun for the next while, at least not if it costs too much money. But yes, I will still take my summer vacation again next year, as I did this summer. Even if it is a pay cut. It is worth it, and I am not looking forward to going back to work. I still have my paid vacation time I can use in the winter, even if we aren't going on a trip anywhere.

So for our last week off we have no weekend plans, we'll probably head to a park, maybe take a walk in the woods. Monday we are meeting one of Jackson's friends at the park for a play date. Tuesday we are going to my friend's house for a play date. Wednesday no plans, Thursday and Friday I will send him to daycare, to kind of get back on track for school. Then it's a long weekend and then boom, back to school. I think kiddo has enjoyed the time off with me, I have enjoyed it with him, though I also admit I enjoyed the two days I had alone this week. It is sometimes nice to have a little break and just watch grown up tv, do nothing, and get things done.

Playing at the park

Babies and little ones

We have been having a nice summer, had a pleasant trip to my parent's, doing some relaxing things around home. Kiddo is playing with his toys, being imaginative and creative. Today we went to an SMC bbq. It was nice to see other ladies with kids on their own. I think everyone there today had a kid, there were no thinkers or tryers this time. Jackson didn't really have a lot of fun, he is a little shy, and there were a lot of little ones around. A few kids his age came later, and he did have a bit of fun, but he didn't do as much as I expected. It is funny to see so many little ones. And to see the other moms. There was one with two kids, one who was trying for the second, actually two I think, and many who were one and done. I had fully intended to go to the doctor and get a referral this summer, get checked out at least and know if my chances are slim. Whenever I get around all the other kids, I start thinking again. It's funny because I remember going to another get together and all these little ones were not born yet or not walking yet, and now here they are. Time flies by. My son is less than 4 months from turning 6. He would be at least 6 years older than a sibling, and would he be resentful? Would it be too hard? I don't know.

Yesterday we went swimming at the local pool and it was nice, the water was warm and it wasn't too busy. We had fun. But if I'd had another kid to watch, not sure it would have happened. It would have been a lot harder for sure. I think I should have done it two years ago. I think that would have been a good gap in age, and it would have worked out. Now, I'm not sure. Again.

Of course I keep taking my supplements, and doing the things I should be doing, tracking my cycle, taking my temperature, but it could all be for nothing. I feel like I am getting old. In 15 years I will probably be able to retire, but not if I have a teenager. But I don't have a lot of time, and I just can't let go of it completely. There is this part of me that is hoping something will happen to make it all clear. A sign of some sort that will appear and say "do this".

I miss having a baby, I even miss diapers, and bottles, and carrying a little one everywhere. I think I would be more relaxed about some things this time, less stressed over whether I am doing the right thing, making the right choices. And I would be better prepared for some things, like a lack of sleep. And staying healthy, and doing things. But am I giving something up that I would regret? Will it be too much work? Too much for my own health? Too difficult with two of such different ages. I'm not sure.

A long vacation

We are mid week two of my vacation, and I am relaxing, loving it, and dread going back to work in 28 days. That's 4 weeks. Ugh. I keep hoping I'll somehow win the lottery and not need to work any more. I just have a hard time spending the money on actually getting tickets. Since this is an unpaid vacation, my pay has gone down, but it is still manageable. I do really believe it is worth it though. Jackson has finally relaxed as well and is playing again which is nice to see. He does not want to spend any time at daycare, I can't really blame him. We had a really fun weekend. We went to parks and splash pads pretty much every day, and he had a lot of fun. He is going tomorrow as they have a field trip planned. It will be a small break for me. I look forward to it, and getting the laundry done among other things. Then Friday we go to my parent's until Wednesday.

Money is very tight and I wish we had more to really enjoy the time. But I realize that my kid loves to go to splash pads (free) and conservation areas (mostly free or very cheap) to see animals and have fun. He wants to spend time with me, and do things. I'm sure he'd love to do those expensive things, and trips, too, but at least he's happy to spend time with me for now.

Take today, it was pay day so we did groceries, not too much because we will be gone for a week, so nothing really fresh that won't keep. Then we brought everything home and went out for lunch, usually cheaper than doing dinner. After that we went to look at some model homes. We both enjoy going and looking around, though he gets a little over excited and doesn't remember that the furniture they use for staging doesn't come with the house, and we can't buy one now any way. But we also tend to agree on the houses. Except today, he fell in love with a house that has two balconies, the master is upstairs from the rest of the house, and it was a condo, which I do not want. We looked more because he wanted to see what they were like. And it's a time filler on a cloudy day. I think when we can actually buy I know where we will be looking. But I also know we could actually afford more if I was a little better with money, and a little less stupid in spending.

My goals over the next 6 months are go get some debt paid down, which will partly depend on getting our contracts signed so I can get some back pay, a raise and a special payout that will be a down payment for a house. I also am working on getting healthier, losing weight, being active! We need to spend less, and yet do more.  I'd love to find a new position at work, since it's a big agency I could find a new job and not have to move, stay at the same level. I just want to make sure it's one I will be able to take leave every summer, because I really do think this will be an annual thing.

I got him his shots yesterday, they are supposed to be done between 4 & 6, I waited until 5 1/2. Party so he would understand what's going on and be willing to sit for it, but also because I know it will be almost 10 years before he needs them again. He's all caught up now, and it was two needles at once. Nice the nurses did it at once, and he got a sticker for it. After we went for ice cream, he had his first Blizzard, loved it but didn't finish his mini! Then we went home and he was out of sorts the rest of the day. He was still sore this morning and got up at 5! I managed to convince him to go back to bed, and he slept until almost 9, which is unheard of!  He was better this evening, so I hope he will be ok tomorrow, and have fun at daycare.

Ah summer

It is summer time and things are good. I am finally on vacation, and we are not doing much. It's actually kind of nice. Yesterday we went to my sister's cottage for the first time. It was a lot of fun, and Jackson loved going tubing on the boat a few times. He was VERY upset when it was time to leave. It took a lot of convincing to get him in the car and he refused to hug anyone. He was quite hungry as he refused to eat while we were there, it might have made him miss something after all! That didn't help how he behaved. He was much better after we got home. I imagine we won't be going back until next year at least. It would be nice to stay a little longer than 4 hours too. We got very lucky with the weather, it rained before we left, and as we were driving home.

Today was another good day. We went to a community pool and swam for about an hour. It was quite nice and he had a lot of fun. We'll go again next week, perhaps try a different pool, there are a few around. Jackson had a lot of fun, he really enjoyed it. I had fun watching him have fun. And we stopped for a treat on the way home, he had a frozen lemonade and a doughnut, I had an iced coffee.  We then went to dinner, and he ate a HUGE meal, adult sized. My parents gave him a gift card for dinner and we used it pretty much all up lol. He does have some leftovers, hopefully he'll eat them. He's not keen on leftovers most of the time.

Tomorrow he is going to daycare. It is basketball day according to the calendar and he is quite excited to go. I am happy he's going at least one day a week over the 5 weeks we are off, he needs to keep up with it, and to go have fun with his friends. He wants to go on all the days they go to special parks. We will find a week or at least a few days to go visit my parents, probably mid-month.

He goes back to school on September 8th, and I go back to work on the 9th, so I'll be able to take him for his first day of grade 1. I am sure it will be exciting and he'll be a bit scared. At least he will have lots of friends.

Apparently he's been doing really well in daycare. He had one "friend" who he loves to play with but they are just not good for each other. They have been separated and so Jackson has had a chance to show his own personality and explore new things to do. He loves to do sports and has been playing with the older kids, up to grade 6. He also likes to play card games and apparently will play with anyone, he gets along with all the other kids and will join in with everyone. He has his moments of course, he is only 5 and the youngest kid in the "schoolager" program. But he is doing well, after a rough start. I'm happy. It's a nice transition to real school. Kindergarten is about fun and playing, Grade 1 is about sitting and learning. Daycare for grade 1 is about group activities. You don't get to go do what you want when everyone else is playing a game.

I am pretty happy to be on a long vacation. I don't get paid for my time off but they average the unpaid days over a year so it's just a small pay cut and doesn't affect things like my pension or benefits. I hope to do it every summer, and save my paid vacation days for other times like Christmas and winter. We won't be able to take a trip this winter sadly, I have some debt to get paid off and am (finally) deciding to put some effort into it. Even with the pay cut. Once that is done we'll be able to travel more I think. If my union would finally sign a new contract I'd get enough in raises, back pay and pay out that I'd be able to pay off my debts and probably have a down payment for a house... it would at least make up for the 5 unpaid weeks this year. Fingers crossed it'll happen this year.

On a boat for the first time

On to grade 1!

Today was Jackson's last day of kindergarten. He starts Grade 1 in September.  Tomorrow is his last day with his current group at daycare as well. He moves up to Group D in July. Which is nice for the wallet, the price drops about $100 a month. Phew. He is pretty proud of himself, and excited to start the next grade. It is so strange that my baby is growing up so much, and so fast.

On Saturday he is going to my parent's for a visit. I will take him half way and meet them at Timmies, then he'll go stay with them for a few days on his own. Which means I will be here on my own for a few days. I have to work Monday and Tuesday then I'm off the rest of the week. I will go down to join him Wednesday or Thursday, we'll see how we both do the first few days. I am a little nervous, I know my parents will take good care of him, and he will be fine, and have a lot of fun. It is just strange to think I won't have to deal with taking care of him myself. The only time I've been away from him is when I was in the hospital with my gallbladder issues. And at that point I was so drugged up I didn't really notice :-)  For my few days alone I am not sure what I will do, I will get to sleep in on Sunday, if the cats allow it, and I may go to a movie! Something totally not kid friendly. I'd like to see the new Terminator movie but it doesn't come out until Wednesday, so it may be the new Jurassic World. I guess I'll see.

Work has been quite frustrating to me lately, I do not like some of my coworkers, and my new boss is very frustrating. He is temporary so I am trying to get through it. I am taking 5 weeks off in August, and looking forward to it. Only just over 5 weeks to go. I cannot wait! We have few plans, only some day trips to fit in. And one trip to Toronto to go to the Royal Ontario Museum and see the dinosaurs. As well we will probably go to Centre Island, which I am hoping will be a lot of fun. I am hoping we will simply relax, and enjoy doing nothing much for the summer, trips to the park, ride our bikes, things like that. I guess we'll see how well that goes. I do have to pay for August in order to keep his space, so he may go for a couple days when they do different trips.

Once back to work I will see if I can find a new position. I have applied on a new position but it doesn't seem to be doing anything right now, hopefully I get some news on it before my holidays. I just cannot seem to find my job, that something that I enjoy doing, or at least don't dread getting up to do. I know that I make good money, and have benefits and it is a good job. It just doesn't make me happy, or like I am contributing anything.

In other news, we got a new kitten. I wanted an ocicat, and found a breeder near Montreal. We went and picked little Kit Kat up on June 14. She is great, she gets along well with everyone, including the other cats. And especially Jackson, who really likes her. She is a healthy little thing, she was fixed already and I took her to the vet to get checked out. The breeder had her on a raw diet, and I have kept that up, adding in canned because my other two prefer it. They are all switching over though. All my research leads me to think it will be healthier for the cats in the long run and after all the health issues with my pets, well I will do what I can.

Elsa and Kit Kat playing

Rough days

We had a nice long weekend at my parent's place. Jackson enjoyed staying up late, getting spoiled, spending time with my dad doing sporty things. I had an ok time, I'd prefer to be home really. It is nice to not have to cook and such things but it's not my house.

Sadly this was the last trip for poor Riley dog. He has been having some stomach issues, not eating as much as normal, throwing up sometimes, but I chalked it up to the cheaper food I was feeding him, and the "snacks" he stole from the cats and kiddo. He was fine at my parent's place, did his usual thing, but when we got home Monday he was not acting like himself. I thought perhaps he was car sick. I got a gravol in him, and he drank some water. Yesterday he was still not eating, and when I got home he had thrown up on the floor, again! The power went out right before I got Jackson from daycare so we went over to McDonalds for supper, got home around 6 and the power came back on. Riley was lying by the front door, and then in the kitchen. At bedtime I put Riley outside while I took Jackson up to bed. When I came down he was lying in the far corner of the yard, I called him over but he wouldn't come. I went over and picked him up because he couldn't seem to stand or walk. I brought him to the deck by the back door and grabbed my phone. I called my parents then my sister. I needed her to come and watch Jackson so I could get the dog to the vet, he was struggling on the deck. I called the vet right after hanging up with my sister, they closed in ten minutes so I knew we wouldn't make it. And as I was speaking to them Riley basically took his last breath. That was it. Crazy and so sad. I can't believe he just died like that. I didn't think he was that sick. I mean he's been like this before and been fine. But now he's gone. I had him cremated but did not want the ashes back.

The part that makes me feel bad, is really that I was planning to get rid of him this summer. I knew I needed to do that, and was procrastinating. As I tend to do. I feel very guilty, that he suffered in the end. That I am somehow relieved that he is gone. Jackson is a very practical kid. I told him this morning that I had sad news, that Riley had died and gone to heaven. He thought about it for a moment and then said it was sad but that there was good news too. We still have two cats, we won't have to have a dog trying to lick us, or poop in the yard, or steal our food. So he's ok about it. I told him Riley would be cremated (turned into dust and ashes) and spread over a field of flowers. This is very interesting to him. The place I had him taken to does a ceremony to spread the ashes in the summer, but I don't really want to go.

So like me.

I find it interesting that every so often my little boy is so much like I was a child, so much like his mother. I don't think it has to do with the way he is being raised but rather something innate, something inside of him. My mother gave me a bunch of photos of when I was a baby, and as a baby he looked exactly like me. Kind of scary. Now he has so many of my traits. It doesn't really make it any easier to understand him, or deal with him, or hold my temper when he drives me nuts, but it does make me smile sometimes.

Like me he is a scaredy cat. As a child I was the one who could not watch anything scary without having nightmares and not being able to sleep. Even up to recently I need to be tucked in with the blankets, for fear of something "under the bed". He is the same, he tucks himself all in to keep safe. I didn't teach him that, he came up with it on his own. He refuses to watch anything with a bad guy in it, even Disney movies. Though for some reason he really likes Big Hero 6, which is odd as I've never watched it. He saw it at a birthday party once. He refuses to watch Cars or even Planes, though he has seen that once in theatres. He will watch anything with dinosaurs in it, even scary documentaries where the adults end up eating their young! Crazy kid like that.

He is also a perfectionist. He doesn't like to try something if he isn't really good at it, right away. He won a big basket at a school raffle, I bought him 3 tickets and he chose which ones he wanted to try for. One was filled with candy and the other two were filled with outdoor toys, he won a toy one thank goodness!  It had a badminton set and a horse shoe game, among lots of bubbles, sidewalk chalk, skipping ropes and balls.  We tried out the badminton and horseshoe games. He of course has never played before and so wasn't the best. He got very upset that he couldn't "get a ringer" or hit the birdy. I think this is also why he doesn't want to try and learn to pedal his big boy bike. He loves his balance bike because he is good at it, the other one he gets upset with. I am the same way, I don't like to do new things. But as an adult I have forced myself to do so, and I hope that I am enough for him, telling him that he has time to learn and the important thing is to try and have fun. It's why in gymnastics he doesn't want to do somersaults, he isn't very good at it.

He hates when people are upset with him. He has been quite upset at school because his teachers "yell at him all the time".  I sent a note to them, and we spoke about it. He has been very difficult during any transitions. And while I understand he doesn't like to do something else when he is having fun, obviously he needs to do these changes. He will be in grade 1 in the fall, he needs to do what the class is doing. Hopefully our discussion has helped and he is doing better. Again, I have the same trait which I work hard to overcome. I have even noticed that when we are rough housing, as you are supposed to do with children (tickle fights and such) if he hurts me by accident he is very upset that I am made at him, though I do explain that getting hurt is not a nice thing of course, when we apologize for an accident, we don't need to feel so badly. Obviously he knows not to hurt people on purpose, but to say sorry when it's an accident. Hopefully he will learn not to take things so much to heart.

He is growing up so fast, as kids tend to do. He likes sports, he likes to learn, and he likes to play. He is all boy, but cautious, taking care even at the park not to climb too high. He really wants to be able to read, but isn't quite there yet. He is very good at math, anything with numbers, and even learning french in school. I can't believe he's almost done with kindergarten.

His giant basket prize

Easter weekend

Another Easter weekend is done. We went down to visit my parents, of course. We drove down Thursday evening. I picked him up right after school and we stopped for dinner on the way down. It was a nice visit, we haven't been there since Thanksgiving in October so it's been 6 months or so since we saw them. I think Jackson has grown a lot since we were last down, he had fewer tantrums but still has some quirks my parents are not used to. He does not sit at the table to eat, he prefers to come and go. When he gets upset it can be a little difficult for them. He also likes to pick his nose, which they hate. I ignore because I have better things to fight over than where his finger is. Besides which, if we make a point of pointing it out, he tends to do it more. I am pretty sure the other children in his class do the same thing, and he'll grown out of it eventually... why stress over it?

My mom made a comment about how my nieces spent a week alone there every summer from when they were like 3, and he's 5 now. But he is not the girls, he is loud and talks a lot and is picky about eating, and sleeping, and he is a BOY. I am not sure I want to drop him off with them for a week, he was interesting because he loves being down there, but we'll see what he really thinks about it closer to the summer. Perhaps it will work out, but maybe not.

He also managed to get a bit sick down there, Sunday morning he woke up crying, saying his tummy hurt, and his head. After finding all the eggs, with plenty of stops for breaks because he was so tired, he went back to bed! He never does that. And of course all the medicine we had down there had expired so mom had gotten rid of it and not replaced it. On Easter Sunday, I had to drive 30 minutes each way to find a store that was open where I could get some medicine for him. One dose was all it took, he rested a bit longer then was raring to go. Soon as he started talking, you knew he was feeling better.

It was a nice weekend any way. The drive home was frustrating, people cannot drive! Do not go in the passing lane if you are not actually passing someone!  And the weather, it started raining, which turned into snow as we got closer to home. By the time we got on the 416 it was snowing a lot, and that road is very slippery, so we had to slow down quite a bit. But we made it home. The cats were happy to see us, and everything was as we left it. Happy to be home, no groceries in the house, and back to work tomorrow.  Lovely! I'll be stopping at the store on the way home I guess.

School

Today was an assembly at Jackson's school, and he won an award for justice. Apparently they give out awards every month for various Catholic values (it's a Catholic school so that makes sense). This month was his turn, and he was very excited. I managed to take the day off work so I could attend. I didn't need the whole day, but I took it any way. Worth it from my perspective, I got to sleep in a bit, do some groceries and things without help, and then go to the assembly. Jackson wanted to sit with me, but was told he had to wait until after he got his award. He was quite upset and cried at that, I wasn't sure why, he was a bit more upset than he should have been. After he got his award he came to sit with me, and whispered with me. He told me he fell in gym and hit his head, so I asked him to show me where, and he did. Then I felt a huge bump! Which was very tender to the touch. So that explained why he was so upset. I was a little upset myself, no one had said anything to me, I think they should have called over something like that. I mean he doesn't have a concussion, but it must have been a nasty fall for such a bump.

I made him go ask his teacher if he could leave, and she came to talk to me. She said she didn't feel his head because he wasn't crying by the time she got to see him, only that the gym teacher had gotten him an ice pack. He had told her it didn't hurt any more. I made him put some ice on it when we got home, and he did rest quite a bit, but he wasn't nauseous or anything, and given he has had a concussion before I am well aware of the symptoms. I am sure he will be better tomorrow. He did have a hard time falling asleep because he couldn't get comfortable on his head. He was trying to fall asleep on his stomach so he wouldn't make his head hurt. Poor kid.

It was also crazy hair day. So yesterday we bought some purple (washable) hair dye, and he loved having purple hair for the day. He had to have a bath tonight, and get it washed out of course, which I had to do extra gentle. He's had a few special days to raise money for a charity over lent. Two weeks ago was pajamas day. He has to donate $2 but it's worth it. I am proud of me for remembering and getting it done. It is kind of funny because I drop him off to daycare quite early. and there are the usual kids who get dropped off that early as well. On pajama day and again today, another mom dropped off her son and didn't remember that it was a special day. I'm not sure what she did today but last time she went home to get him pajamas. I'm sure it's terrible of me but it makes me feel better that I did remember. I'm sure I'll have my moment to forget as well.

I ordered a pack of OPK & HPT's today. Spent the money so I better use them. I ordered CoQ10 on the weekend but there was a delay with shipping so it won't arrive this week, I bought a small bottle at the store today to tide me over. I want to get started. Now if I could just really give up the sugar... why does it have to be so sweet and yummy ???

A project

Since my cat passed away while I was on vacation I have really been missing him. It's a bit silly I guess, I mean he was a cat. But he was such a good one, he was the one who cuddled with me and played, and was the first to come greet me at the door. I am on a waiting list to get a new cat. Yes I am going to a breeder, I have rescued pretty much all my other cats and just want one from a breeder, with a guarantee and the breed I want. I should be getting my new ocicat kitten in 3 months or so, not sure if it will be a boy or a girl, but it will come with shots, well socialized and already fixed.

In the meantime, I am focusing on the two cats who remain. Snickers is 7 and very overweight. I've put him on a diet, actually they both are I suppose. I switched them to wet/canned food instead of dry, though they do still get a bit because when I go away for long weekends it is much easier to deal with. So far he has lost 7 ounces, in about a week. That's around 2% of his body weight, so a bit quick for a cat, but he is still doing well. He is actually starting to play more, and interact with Elsa. Elsa is doing well, she is crazy playful and I usually wake up with her cuddled right beside me now. She will be a year old in a month.

The funny thing about my cat losing weight is that he is doing it faster than I am. And I am trying. I do have a lot more energy now, I want to workout. I get up before 5 and do a workout. I enjoy it, I actually want to do it! It feels good and pumps me up for the day. Even when I get home from work, I want to do more! It's weird and kind of nice. I am so anxious for the weather to improve so Jackson and I can get out biking, and hiking. I do need a new bike, but hopefully I can get one early and we can go on adventures.

Joshua and Elsa

Snickers with Elsa, Joshua in front

Planning

I'm in planning mode. Planning for this summer, planning for what I want. I am hoping to take 5 or 6 weeks off this summer, to spend with kiddo while he enjoys spending time with me. During that we will of course visit my parents, go the beach, and hopefully do an overnight train trip to Toronto to go to the Royal Ontario Museum to see the dinosaurs, just like Jackson's favourite tv show (one of them any way!).  That will be in August though, so lots of time until then.

Mean time I am getting on with my "lose weight, get moving" plan, and am focused on losing some weight. I would like to get to a "normal" weight but I will be happy with baby steps in that regard. I have started working out in the morning, early, and am actually enjoying it. Though it's difficult to get up, especially this week after the time change. But the weather is also improving so hopefully I will be able to get out for walks and such soon. I have to admit, the weight training is a bit of a pain! I know it's the best for me but ouch, my muscles hurt! I am so out of shape :-)  working on that!  Diet being such a big part of losing weight I have also improved that. All the usual things, more veggies, taking lunch, making meals, reduced processed food.

And then the supplements. I am taking quite a few! I ran out of CoQ10 which I have ordered and hopefully it come soon so I can restart that. I am hoping that it will all lead to improved health, and better eggs. I plan on going to my doctor for a referral after Easter, by then I hope to have lost 10 pounds (from when I started) and be "in the zone" in terms of eating and exercise. I believe it will take a few weeks to get in to see the fertility clinic. At that point I imagine there will be testing, which will take a month or so, depending when in my cycle I am for blood work. Then I will know where I am. And hopefully while I am off for those weeks in the summer I will be able to make at least one attempt at an IUI. It is a long wait, I have reasons for wanting to wait that long, including just timing of when baby 2 would be due. But if the doctor says it's too late, or almost too late, or something like that, perhaps it will be sooner.

I am 40, my son is 5. He'll be 6 when I have a second kid! Is that crazy? I have read that it can be good, he will be old enough to want to help, and be able to take care of himself to a certain extent. Plus he'll be in full day school, so I would be on mat leave with baby home alone during the day. See, already planning mat leave and I haven't even gone to the doctor yet!  Crazy.

Of course I have very little left from when Jackson was a baby, no crib, no car seat, no high chair, nothing like that. I think I still have the baby bath I used, and one or two of the toys. I will know what I need this time though, and not to get things that I may just want. I know new baby will sleep in my room for at least the first 6 months to a  year, then I think the two will share a room for awhile. Planning before I even see the doctor. Can you tell I've thought about this a lot? Just haven't been able to commit. Now I'm ready. I only hope it's not too late.

Decisions. Or Not.

We have been home awhile and I am still adjusting to my cat being gone. I don't really get it but I miss him a lot. I will be getting another one, probably in a few months. For now, we have enough pets. One of my cats is rather over weight. I have put him on a diet. Really I switched him, and the other cat, to canned food.  So far he has lost a few ounces, which is a good, slow, rate. They aren't too happy that the dry food has gone away, but they are adjusting and enjoying the canned stuff. When we go away, like at Easter, they'll get dry but hopefully they won't complain too much.

I have been making an effort to get healthier myself. Clean up the eating, and start exercising. I did 3 good workouts this past week, at 5 am. Because if I don't get up and do it, I won't do it at all. Thursday kiddo got up at 5:15 and it took me 10 minutes to get him back to bed, so I only did half a workout. Friday I was just tired, and skipped it. Bad. Next week is going to be rough, with the time change. But hopefully I will be able to get it done! I started with cardio, but am thinking weights would be a better choice, perhaps some circuit training which gives the benefits of both. We'll see I guess.

The weather is supposed to start warming up, I can't wait! I want to get out for walks, and perhaps bike rides. I think I need a new bike, and to remember how to ride it. I want to get out, be active! I was looking at taking a class, but it's quite hard to find the time, and a babysitter. I have taken Jackson to Kids Night Out twice now, he really likes it. His little friend is there. The kid from school I do not like. It would be a good time to do something for me. But of course I can't find a class nearby that I am interested in. So last time, I got my hair cut. And I could look at doing some massages. The evening is tricky though. I have booked one for next weekend when Jackson has a birthday party to attend. Oh, we still need to get a gift for that. Ugh.

In addition to the moving, and eating better, I am back on my plethora of pills. I need to get some CoQ10, but otherwise I am taking a handful of pills at breakfast and dinner. All in the name of trying to save my eggs. My poor, 40-year-old eggs. I'm not even sure I want to use them. That I want to move ahead and attempt to have a second kid. I mean Jackson will be 6 by the time a second would arrive. That's a big difference. I really should have done it sooner. Which is part of why I want to do it at all now. I feel I will regret it if I don't at last try. I already have regrets that I haven't already done something.

There is always an excuse, it's expensive, I'm in bad shape, overweight, I had the whole gallbladder thing. Jackson was having some issues when school started and I didn't want to go through that again. Daycare, it's expensive and tricky, and do I want to deal with that? Work, I'm finally in a good position, will this kill my chances of moving up more? Travel, we won't be able to take another trip for a long time, no Disney! No more cruises or beaches for at least 5 or 6 years. Is it worth it to mess that up? To mess up our lives? But I also think having another person in our family would be a good thing, that we are far too "attached" and need another person to break it up. I love my kid, I love that he loves me. I think I need to make the effort, at least get checked out, and try.

Stuff, our trip, and my poor Joshua

I am sitting here, at home alone, while Jackson is at Kids Night Out. It's a thing at the play gym he likes, Friday night from 6 to 9pm for $15. I was supposed to be going out to dinner with friends but they both cancelled on me so here I am watching a movie and feeling a bit sorry for myself. I guess this means I need some more friends, Perhaps to start dating. It's a limited time window though, 3 hours on Friday night. Or find a better babysitter? But that would cost more. I'll figure something out I guess. It is weird to be here without him home. I mean by now he'd be in bed and I'd be watching a movie any way.

We went on our big trip and it was amazing. Two nights at Art of Animation, a day at Animal Kingdom, then a 7-day cruise of the eastern Caribbean. The whole thing was so lovely, a little stressful, and perfect weather.

The hotel was pretty nice, the room was good. It was a long walk to our room, but it was quieter and near the quiet pool which we did use. We also walked up to the main pool to swim, but it was so cold out that night it was not as much fun! For me any way. The food was ok, breakfast wasn't the best but the pizza was good. At least Jackson thought so. We went to Downtown Disney the first evening after arrival and a swim. We wandered around, looked at some toys, and he chose to buy a lego set. One he could probably get here. But he likes it so it's ok.

We went to Animal Kingdom for the day on Saturday and it was awesome. It was cold when we got there, we did the safari right away, no wait, then went to breakfast at Tuskers and got breakfast with the characters. The food was good, but it was expensive for what we really got. After that we wandered, saw some trails, took the train out to Rafiki station and back, then he discovered the Boneyard. And that was pretty much that. He spent a lot of time there, expensive tickets for him to play at a playground! We did go to Expedition Everest, it was terrifying to me. I'm scared of heights. Jackson wasn't too happy either, but we did it and I don't regret it. We did the safari again at the end of the day and it was cool to see the animals both morning and late afternoon. We ate a lot of ice cream at the park as well. We had dinner back at the resort, and then went for that late cold swim.

Next morning we waited for the shuttle to take us to the cruise, it was an interesting experience getting to the ship but we made it. It was very exciting to get there, and the whole ship was pretty nice. I do wish I had chosen a different boat, but it was nice enough. Our cabin was great, inside, and the bed was done up as a king instead of two twins, so we shared a bed the whole week.  We were assigned late dining which sucked. But the first night's dinner was tasty. No dessert because Jackson was falling asleep at the table.

Our first port was Nassau. It was really nice. We did a day pass at a nearby hotel and it was great, the beach was gorgeous and quiet, Jackson had a lot of fun and I was able to let him run around without worry. We ate there as well, it was kind of included in the price, and we were able to walk to and from the ship.

The next day was at sea. It wasn't the best day. We did a Dr Seuss parade and story telling, Jackson finally agreed to some time in the kids club, so I got to read on the deck. We went for breakfast at the sea day brunch, and got made to wait while others got in, so I complained after breakfast and that evening we got told we could do the any time dining. Which meant that was the last late night of dinner!  Phew. 

We then did 3 ports back to back, San Juan, St Thomas and Grand Turk. Of the 3 I loved St Thomas most. San Juan was nice but there were a lot of ships in port, and it was a lot of walking. We had fun exploring the fort but it was hot and I got sweaty! We got a few souvenirs, and I think Jackson enjoyed it. We ordered room service for the first time that day for lunch, which was so nice! 

St Thomas was my favourite beach. It was gorgeous, clear and so warm. The drive was a bit crazy. But over all that was the best stop. I don't think we actually bought anything there, but we did have a lot of fun. We spent the whole time in the water, just swimming, Jackson loved it and it was nice for me too. 

Final stop was Grand Turk. It was ok. It was free at least, nothing to pay for in port. We swam but it was rocky so not as much fun for me. I was glad we had water shoes. Jackson went to the kids club that evening, and he ate dinner there! So I ate a table with some other nice people, it was kind of nice. 

The last day was again at sea. It was very rough. We were both sea sick. But we managed to get out of the room by around 2, after some extra sleep, medicine and some more room service. We did a family scavenger hunt, which only one other family participated in, so we won a trophy! It was fun and Jackson really enjoyed it and loves his trophy. Dinner was good, We both felt better by then and he was able to go to the last night at the kids club, to say good bye up there. 

Next day we flew home! The trip home was good, the shuttle went much better. There were no problems with anything and the flight was good. But man oh man, the cold. That really rather sucked. My sister picked us up at the airport, and had a chicken pot pie for us for dinner. Then we got home and she gave me the news. My poor poor sweet Joshua died while we were gone. He was not even 3 and I loved that cat! He was such a sweetie and really my favourite. It has been two weeks and I still miss him so much.  So yes, I will be getting another cat. Hopefully in a few months, I would love it to be sooner but I want to wait for the right cat.

Joshua when he was just about a year

Happy New Year...

This new year has really sucked. New year's eve I was SICK. I spent the day throwing up, from at some point on the 30th right through until bed time at 7:30 on the 31st. Yes that is how late I managed to make it on the 31st. I have never thrown up that much in my life, I'm sure. I was so done with it, and Jackson was so fascinated with it. I was lucky and able to drop him off at daycare, but felt horribly guilty for it because I knew it would not be a short day for him. But I did what I had to do! I begged my sister to get me some ginger ale and she dropped it off outside the door, didn't want to risk getting infected herself. I slept when I wasn't throwing up, and eventually managed to go get the kiddo. I lay on the couch while he had cereal for supper, followed by a lot of candy. There were a lot of complaints about not getting to see the count down, I just didn't care.  The 1st was a little better but my other issues started, and continue. At least I haven't thrown up again but I have nothing in me. I have been living on that case of ginger ale, and some soup we bought yesterday. It just isn't gong well. I have no idea how I will manage to go to work tomorrow, never mind I have to drop my car off for it's repairs and pick up a rental. My poor boy has been living on cereal and whatever else he can reach, which seems to include a lot of candy and all the freezies. How he got those out of the freezer I have no idea. I am desperately hoping that this virus or whatever it is gets better, and goes away, and I can go to work tomorrow without wondering how long it takes to run to the bathroom. 

The thing about being a single mom in times like this is I have no back up. There is no one else around to help out, or feed the kid, or go buy me soup, or crackers. Or even just to entertain the boy. He has been really good and thank goodness he is at an age where he can do some things himself, he's potty trained, he is able to watch TV, play with his toys, get some snacks and things himself. But I do really wish there was another adult around right now to help out.

It doesn't help that something is wrong with the dog. Either he has the same virus I have or he's dying. I just don't care. How terrible of me? It's all I can do right now to take care of my kid, barely myself, no way I can add in taking care of the dog right now. Nothing extra any way. He hasn't eaten since some time Wednesday, except one treat Thursday which he threw up all over my bed at bedtime. This is of course the dog I don't know what to do with any way. I probably should have had him put down ages ago but didn't, and now I can't really afford to. We have a lot of expenses with the trip at the end of the month and I do not have $300 extra to deal with this. So he suffers, and I feel badly, but there isn't a lot I can do. He'll either get better or not... I did make him some rice, but he won't eat it. One thing about dogs is they generally won't starve themselves without reason. Cats would but not a dog. He has been drinking, but I'm not sure it's enough. Perhaps I won't need to worry about him while we are away after all... though I do have that taken care of any way. 

And speaking of the trip, I still haven't totally decided if we will spend two nights in Cape Canaveral or Orlando. Either way I think we will have fun, I just really wanted to go to Animal Kingdom for the day. At least the cruise is taken care of, and I've booked one excursion already, a beach day. Two I think we will do some free stuff and the last day I am debating which beach excursion will work for us. Since Jackson doesn't really swim well but does love the water and trying to swim. I don't think snorkling will be in this time, but perhaps next time.I want as much time on the beach as possible. Our room was assigned, and it's a pretty good location. Now to cross our fingers we don't end up with late dining since there is no way we'll have dinner at 8:15 when he is normally sound asleep by then. With me close after lately!